Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
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Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
My little brother posted this on Facebook yesterday and tagged my other brother and me in it (apostates, both). Since he has opened the door for a discussion, and since it will be in full view of many a TBM, I want to engage as effectively as possible, as I see this as a potential exmo missionary moment. What would you say? What would you NOT say?
Thanks!
Thanks!
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
My suggestion would be...don't respond.
It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.
It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.
“When we are confronted with evidence that challenges our deeply held beliefs we are more likely to reframe the evidence than we are to alter our beliefs. We simply invent new reasons, new justifications, new explanations. Sometimes we ignore the evidence altogether.” (Mathew Syed 'Black Box Thinking')
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
If it were me I would just respond to them that I simply can't believe in a God that sends angels with swords to command people to marry dozens of women but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends and agree to disagree.
If they pushed back on that I'd send them links to the new seminary and institute manuals that tell the story of the angel with the sword threatening Joseph into practicing polygamy.
If they pushed back on that I'd send them links to the new seminary and institute manuals that tell the story of the angel with the sword threatening Joseph into practicing polygamy.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My Blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/
My Blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I didn't have much luck in these types of conversations with my siblings when I first left. We eventually agreed to disagree. The interesting part however is that one of my sisters that I had these conversations with eventually left and I can tell that the others are changed. So if there's any way that you can expose him to the truth without driving a wedge between you, that would be good, but it's not worth it otherwise. Joseph Smith isn't worth damaging familial relationships over. The longer you're out, the clearer this becomes.
Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I have a question wrote:My suggestion would be...don't respond.
It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.
I agree with this advice.
From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I tend to agree that when it comes to family, the best response is no response. That said I would have a hard time not responding to this part.
The condescension and condemnation in that one sentence would be hard to just let pass.
To that I might gently reply that I did not unravel because of adversity or something I did not fully understand, quite the opposite. As a result of conscientious effort and study I felt I better understood the truth to be found in my life.
"When adversity comes, don't let something you don't fully understand unravel everything you know"
The condescension and condemnation in that one sentence would be hard to just let pass.
To that I might gently reply that I did not unravel because of adversity or something I did not fully understand, quite the opposite. As a result of conscientious effort and study I felt I better understood the truth to be found in my life.
"Any over-ritualized religion since the dawn of time can make its priests say yes, we know, it is rotten, and hard luck, but just do as we say, keep at the ritual, stick it out, give us your money and you'll end up with the angels in heaven for evermore."
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
Blixa wrote:I have a question wrote:My suggestion would be...don't respond.
It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.
I agree with this advice.
this was my first reaction too. but if you do reply, i strongly advise staying away from history and doctrine.
focus instead on the Pearson quote. i think one could at least explain to a well meaning relative, as your brother seems to be, that if they can't, first of all, understand the multiple problems with Pearson's statement (its ignorance, circular logic, and casual insinuations), then they can't possibly understand where you're coming from and there's no point talking about it.
Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I don't generally respond to stuff like this unless I'm specifically asked and invited to do so.
You've been invited and solicited for your opinion. Go for it. Let him have it.
That is my opinion.
You've been invited and solicited for your opinion. Go for it. Let him have it.
That is my opinion.
"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson
Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I have a question wrote:My suggestion would be...don't respond.
I wouldn't respond at all. The whole post is tactless and self-serving and I wouldn't validate that behavior in any way.
ETA: If he wanted to have a sincere discussion with his brothers, this content belonged in a PM. Publicly tagging his brothers like this sounds like it's more about appearing a certain way to his Facebook friends, rather than having any kind of substantive discussion about faith with his 'wayward' siblings. That he felt like this was something he needed to do in the first place suggests a lack of maturity. And whatever needs to be said to him about it doesn't need to be said in public.
I have a brother who is 19, who pulled a similar stunt a few months ago. I took him to task for it privately, as did our other apostate sister. If he wants to use an interpretation of me and my choices for his own religious agenda, he'll do it without the benefit of my participation, trust, or friendship. He took the offending post down, apologized profusely for overstepping, and we haven't had a repeat incident.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment
I almost never say anything, but sometimes I feel like I am enabling them with my silence. I know it could potentially wreck relationships, but at the same time I feel guility. After all, if all doubters stayed quiet, where would we be? It's the people who were "rude" who got me to doubt. I am as they say an "anonymous coward."
They have created an absolutely destructive, toxic, and manipulative narrative. It's a lose-lose for doubters.
They have created an absolutely destructive, toxic, and manipulative narrative. It's a lose-lose for doubters.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:36 am, edited 2 times in total.