Guest Post by Nathan McCluskey. What follows is an extract from a 15 minute sacrament talk Nathan was asked to give as the Ward Mission Leader on the topic of “Reactivation and Rescuing.”
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/kiwimormon ... ment-talk/
I would like to read out some of their responses in the hope that we all recognise just how different the reasons for people not coming to church are and why it is a mistake to suppose there is a silver bullet to solve this issue and to dispense with any allusions you may have if you thought I was going to offer one:
“Hi Nathan, thank you for asking. Until one has been asked, others are going on assumptions formed by their experience rather than the view of the person in question. It is something that I’m sure my family would like to know as well! You have spurred me to write it down; for you, me, family, posterity and whoever wants to know. It probably won’t be in time for your talk, but maybe it may help with your understanding and your calling. Hopefully, I’ll have it down today. Whenever it’s ready, you’ll be the first to have it. After my wife, of course.”
The lesson I learnt from this is that it is important to ask rather than assume why someone isn’t coming.
“Hi Nathan. I can’t speak for anyone else, but the reason I no longer go to church is that I no longer believe any of the truth claims and my personal values do not align with those of the organization. Areas of non-alignment include the marginalization of women and the archaic and harmful treatment of homosexuals. It isn’t about the people. I love many Mormons. I just no longer see church as a healthy place for me to be and nothing anyone can do would get me back to church. I have felt enormous relief over the last six months and the thought of going to church is unappealing. I miss the people though."
"Thanks for asking and thanks for not trying to rescue me. The very word makes me feel ill. Not a good term to use. I guess the point is that there are many reasons why people are not attending and it is important to respect their right to make their own choices. I think the message is often that everyone would come back if they were asked in the right way.”
The lesson I learnt from this is that we can’t force belief and if we can’t even explain or justify why as a church we believe or practice certain things, how can we expect others to accept them?
“The biggest hurdle is being single in a church which is all about families. When you hear anything about singles, it almost seems desperate. ‘We know you hurt and things aren’t how you expected, but it will all work out in due course.’ Really? Do these people really know what loneliness is?”
The lesson I learnt from this is that we need to be really careful about what we focus on. When we focus on things that exclude people rather than things that include them, we make people disengage with us.
One commenter wonders aloud why this kind of honesty isn't displayed during General Conference...