Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

[drumdude]

Bruce R. McConkie (LDS 'General Authority'): “…our Lord is the only Son of the Father in the flesh. Each of the words is to be understood literally. Only means only, begotten means begotten, and Son means son. Christ was begotten by an Immortal Father in He same way that mortal men are begotten by mortal fathers … There is no need to spiritualize away the plain meaning of the scriptures. There is nothing figurative or hidden or beyond comprehension in our Lord's coming into mortality. He is the Son of God in the same sense and way that we are the sons of mortal fathers. It is just that simple” [Mormon Doctrine, 456-547, 466, 468.]


Most sane Christians have the benefit of being able to imagine this as a spiritual conception that happened without physical sex. But Mormons have to believe that God came down and actually put his penis in this poor girl.

Did they wait for Joseph to go to work and do it in their marital bed?

Did they rent a room in a nearby inn and have a quickie there?

Maybe God hied her to Kolob and mounted her on a celestial white throne?

It had to have happened somewhere, which is just so very unfortunate. Really throws water on the whole idea of absolute morality. If this is moral, anything is. Not to mention that Joseph Smith took the opportunity to continue this disgusting tradition by banging other men’s wives while the men were on their missions.

[Shulem]

I'm afraid this thread will be getting booted down into the Telestial Forum because I'm not sure we are allowed to talk about how and where Heavenly Father put his penis into Mary's vagina. Maybe he transported her to the Facsimile No. 2 where God sits upon his throne having his penis inflated with an air pump because everyone knows that Mormons teach that resurrected beings don't have blood so they use air pressure to inflate their celestial penis's.

Well, I wonder how long this thread is going to remain up here in the Terrestrial glory? Surely a mod is just around the corner.

[Shulem]

Understanding Death and Resurrection

The blood he spilled upon Mount Calvary he did not receive again into his veins. That was poured out, and when he was resurrected, another element took the place of the blood. It will be so with every person who receives a resurrection; the blood will not be resurrected with the body, being designed only to sustain the life of the present organization. When that is dissolved, and we again obtain our bodies by the power of the resurrection, that which we now call the life of the body, and which is formed from the food we eat and the water we drink will be supplanted by another element; for flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God.

When the resurrection and exaltation of man shall be consummated, although more pure, refined and glorious, yet will he still be in the same image, and have the same likeness, without variation or change in any of his parts or faculties, except the substitution of spirit for blood.

Stupid Mormons

[drumdude]

It’s an important enough doctrine that several church presidents have publicly hammered it home to the members. Why are the implications of the doctrine mod worthy?

If there is any unease about it then surely it’s an indication that there is something wrong with this Mormon teaching, and it’s worth discussing here.

[malkie]

[hat type="Church official" status="firmly on head"]
It is not important to your salvation to know the details.
[/hat]

[drumdude]

[hat type="Church official" status="firmly on head"]
It is not important to your salvation to know the details.
[/hat]

Normally I’d agree, however they’ve (for some bizarre reason) decided to firmly open the door repeatedly hammering the point home that it was real, physical sex.

It’s even been in family home evening manuals:

Joseph Fielding Smith (Mormonism's 10th president-prophet): “Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God in the flesh. Well, now for the benefit of the older ones, how are children begotten? I answer just as Jesus Christ was begotten of his father …Jesus is the only person who had our Heavenly Father as the father of his body” [Family Home Evening Manual (1972), 125, 126.]

[Rad]

It’s an important enough doctrine that several church presidents have publicly hammered it home to the members. Why are the implications of the doctrine mod worthy?

If there is any unease about it then surely it’s an indication that there is something wrong with this Mormon teaching, and it’s worth discussing here.

The weirdness only gets amplified when you consider that this was the plan all along. I can imagine the dialogue in the councils of the pre-mortal existence, "Once thou hast achieved the minimum physical requirements to conceive I will then send mine holy angel down to you in order that you might know that the time soon cometh that I wilt require you to have sex with me in order that my Son, the Savior of the World, even the Messiah, might be born of the consequences of a rape, perpetrated by God, that I might show forth my love for the children of man."

[Moksha]

Well, I wonder how long this thread is going to remain up here in the Terrestrial glory? Surely a mod is just around the corner.

Res Ipsa might find that it violates revealing Temple ordinances such as Nude Clogging.

[Kishkumen]

This is honestly one of the dumbest doctrines that has ever been taught in Mormonism.

[Chap]

From time to time, on the principle of maximum charity, I try to remind myself that, viewed from outside its social and cultural context of origin, no religion is more weird than any other religion.

But this particular doctrine - whenever it comes to my attention, it really does force me to put Mormonism in pole position, in spite of myself.