Kearon not allowed to discuss decision to accept Apostle job with his wife.

[I Have Questions]

Another example (if one were needed) that women are second class citizens in the Mormon church.

On an average Thursday, Kearon, who was serving as a full-time general authority for the faith, got a call to meet church President Russell M. Nelson “within seven to 10 minutes.”

The modest leader had no idea what was coming, so it was “deeply shocking,” Kearon told The Salt Lake Tribune in an interview Tuesday, when the 99-year-old Nelson asked him to join the faith’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the second top tier — after the three-member First Presidency — in the 17 million-member church.

It is a lifetime position.

And, as the church’s prophet-president, Nelson expected an immediate answer.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/lds-c ... r-BB1h9r23

There was no time to consider how his future had just been upended or confer with his wife, Jennifer.

By that afternoon, the 62-year-old Kearon was ordained by Nelson and others in the top quorums.

This isn’t just a Nelson problem, Kearon could have insisted that it was a joint decision, and would need to confer with his wife on such a life changing decision, before accepting.

Nope. The women in Mormonism are expected to just go along with what the men folk decide.

[Kishkumen]

Disappointing but not surprising.

[drumdude]

She covenanted to follow and obey her husband, so what he says is basically from the mouth of God to her.

[Dwight]

It feels gross. It's not like conference was starting in 10 minutes so there was no time. I had a not super close friend whose dad was a GA 70 and about a year before he went emeritus he and his wife were the devotional speakers at BYU-I. I can't quite recall, but she opened her talk about how her husband had asked her if she wanted to speak with him and then made a joke about how he wasn't really asking. It got the attention of exmo reddit and I remember clicking through and being like oh that's M's mom, and yeah, super cringe the way she said that. Of course it was a big laugh line.

[Marcus]

And just to add to the cringe, when I was active bishops would ask my husband first, for his "permission", to extend a calling to me, his wife. I wasn't asked if I wanted the call or even if I would accept it, I was just told that my husband had given his permission for me to do it. It was a done deal, between two men. The women were just informed.

That mindset is horrifying when I look back on it now, but the brainwashing was from birth.

[Gadianton]

This is just Rusty f'ing with people. It makes for a dramatic story, and for Rusty to think he's a big wheel.

"I was suddenly and unexpectedly brought to a strange place; and it was there I was forced to chose, and I had not moment to do so. The results of my choice, either way, would have staggering consequences."

There are times when highly leveraged decisions are made quickly under extreme circumstances. For instance, you just learn that Russia has launched a volley of nukes toward the United States. What do you do? Every second counts.

However, there are times when highly leveraged decisions are contrived by a narcissist, such as having a gun pointed at your head and ordered to do something, "or else". In the Tin Man's head, he thinks he's testing the faith of the initiate. He's really just satisfying his own ego. He certainly isn't ensuring the best decision gets made. Irrespective of whether he talks to his wife, even for himself, this kind of "tapping" would select for risk-loving personality types. Or maybe, just people who can't say "no" to authority. Either way, it increases the likelihood a bad decision will be made.

I hope it was a bad decision. That would increase the chances that somebody at that top is dissatisfied, and sees that something is very wrong up there.

[Morley]

However, there are times when highly leveraged decisions are contrived by a narcissist, . . .

Fortunately, history has shown that nothing can ever go wrong when one person becomes convinced that they are the one person on Earth who has been chosen to be the personification of God's will.

[Dr Moore]

However, there are times when highly leveraged decisions are contrived by a narcissist, such as having a gun pointed at your head and ordered to do something, "or else". In the Tin Man's head, he thinks he's testing the faith of the initiate. He's really just satisfying his own ego.

Very well said. This was my reaction, though you stated it far more effectively than I would have.