Hello, Possums...My Final Exit from MD&D
Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:28 pm
It's been a long time since I last posted on the Discuss Mormonism board. I took a much-needed break from discussing Mormonism, but it seems it's a deeply ingrained topic that's hard to let go of, at least in my experience. By taking a break I hoped that I could somehow heal from my Mormon experience and some how move on with my life. After all, I left the church over 22 years ago, you would think I could just move on and leave it alone.
For months, my only discussions on Mormon-themed boards were occasional posts on the Mormon Stories Podcast Facebook page. After several months, when I felt my metaphorical blood pressure had finally lowered enough to engage in civil conversations with believing members of the church again, I took a bold step – at least for me. I shed my years-long anonymity as Craig Paxton and began posting on the Mormon Dialogue and Discussion board using my real name.
I mistakenly assumed that by abandoning my anonymity, I might encounter a more civil experience on that board. Over the years, I had posted there anonymously under various tags. Initially as Craig Paxton, who was promptly banned, then as Johnnie Cake, Aussie Boy and probably other's that I have long since forgotten about, but they all had one thing in common, they all eventually got banned.
I had hoped that with each new anonymous persona, I could be more compliant with their rules by being civil and respectful in the hope of building a bridge of understanding and be able to carry on a civil conversation regarding Mormon truth claims. I also felt that I was calming down and making progress despite having to conform to MD&D's extremely ridged rules of engagement and Calm's constantly annoying policing of them. I had high hopes posting under my real name. First, I thought that by being fully transparent, it would help me be more accountable for the words and subject matter I chose to post. I also naïvely believed that by being so open and transparent that the MD&D board members would be more respectful, fair minded, sympathetic and less arrogant in their cherished truth claims with me as well. That was dumb of me.
Ultimately my hopeful efforts at civil discussion failed. Yesterday, I was once again banned while using my real, fully transparent name. Why? Because I didn't provide a link to a site from which I had copied and pasted a list of quotes by LDS leaders from, even though the quotes were fully cited. I also pushed back against Calm's constant policing of my posts because: 1. She asserted that because the quotes came from a website critical of Mormonism (though the quotes themselves weren't critical) they should be somehow suspect or discounted, and 2. for implying that because I hadn't cited the source of my copy-paste, I was therefore a plagiarist for not providing proper citation. As if posting on MD&D meet the same standards as a doctrinal dissertation.
I had had enough of conformity and finally blew a gasket. In frustration, I finally said to myself, "F*** it" and called her out for her overbearing, never-checked policing of the board and her pedantic behavior.
Here is what I posted:
Calm you are being excessively pedantic on this message board. There I said it. I guess, I'm now banned. Screw it, Enjoy your Silo. What could have been a civil conversation on something I felt was an interesting observation has quickly become an exasperating attack for the sin of failing to list the source of a collection of quotes of LDS leaders I found via a simple google search.
But you've won. You have successfully disrupted the flow of the conversation, turning what could have been a lively and engaging exchange of ideas into a tedious nitpicking session of meeting your exacting standards for proper posting. Instead of focusing on the substance of my OP, you've put me on the defense, attacked my character and forced me to get bogged down in trivial details, detracting from the overall enjoyment of this conversation. You've Won, I give up.
You've sent your message loud and clear and I've received it. This board is not a safe place to ask questions or present subject matter unless it meets your exacting standard. Perhaps not your intent, but your stilted, painfully irritating need to dot every i and cross every t, creates a hostile atmosphere for many of the posters here and honestly it drive us away. It's exhausting. But perhaps that is you intent. You prefer homogeneity instead of a diverse platform of ideas and opinions. You seem to get more pleasure from the policing of this board than from creating an environment where a civil discussion and exchange of ideas can take place. You've created a board where people like myself feel hesitant to express ourselves freely for fear of being scrutinized and corrected at every turn over seemingly minuscule matters that are of over whelming importance to you.
For what its worth here is my advice for you, your annoying exactitude stifles honest and genuine expression. By driving folks like myself away, mind you I don't hide behind a wall of anonymity like everyone else here, you are diminishing the value of this community as a space for meaningful dialogue and mutual understanding. You are shrinking the idea gene pool and you know what that does to the over all health of your close-knit community. In essence, while attention to accuracy and precision is important, your obsession with it just results in souring the experience for everyone involved and if not for everyone, it has for me. Everyone else is afraid to tell you the truth for fear of being banned, but you are an annoying influence on this board and frankly my dear I just don't give a damn.
And as expected, all of the board members doubled down in their support of poor little Calm, many expressing their love and appreciation for Calm's rule keeping.
I don't blame MD&D, it's their board and their rules and I acknowledge that so much of what I perceived as petty rules just rubbed me the wrong way. It was like posting in an airtight, sealed box while wearing a straight jacket and in the end, I just needed some fresh air and be able to breathe. MD&D is a suffocating environment.
So my experiment and attempt at civil dialogue at MD&D is over. My attempt, though very flawed, is done. They can enjoy their silo of ideas and their mental inbreeding by patting themselves on their backs knowing that they have once again successfully ran yet another thought provoker away. Well done MD&D.
For months, my only discussions on Mormon-themed boards were occasional posts on the Mormon Stories Podcast Facebook page. After several months, when I felt my metaphorical blood pressure had finally lowered enough to engage in civil conversations with believing members of the church again, I took a bold step – at least for me. I shed my years-long anonymity as Craig Paxton and began posting on the Mormon Dialogue and Discussion board using my real name.
I mistakenly assumed that by abandoning my anonymity, I might encounter a more civil experience on that board. Over the years, I had posted there anonymously under various tags. Initially as Craig Paxton, who was promptly banned, then as Johnnie Cake, Aussie Boy and probably other's that I have long since forgotten about, but they all had one thing in common, they all eventually got banned.
I had hoped that with each new anonymous persona, I could be more compliant with their rules by being civil and respectful in the hope of building a bridge of understanding and be able to carry on a civil conversation regarding Mormon truth claims. I also felt that I was calming down and making progress despite having to conform to MD&D's extremely ridged rules of engagement and Calm's constantly annoying policing of them. I had high hopes posting under my real name. First, I thought that by being fully transparent, it would help me be more accountable for the words and subject matter I chose to post. I also naïvely believed that by being so open and transparent that the MD&D board members would be more respectful, fair minded, sympathetic and less arrogant in their cherished truth claims with me as well. That was dumb of me.
Ultimately my hopeful efforts at civil discussion failed. Yesterday, I was once again banned while using my real, fully transparent name. Why? Because I didn't provide a link to a site from which I had copied and pasted a list of quotes by LDS leaders from, even though the quotes were fully cited. I also pushed back against Calm's constant policing of my posts because: 1. She asserted that because the quotes came from a website critical of Mormonism (though the quotes themselves weren't critical) they should be somehow suspect or discounted, and 2. for implying that because I hadn't cited the source of my copy-paste, I was therefore a plagiarist for not providing proper citation. As if posting on MD&D meet the same standards as a doctrinal dissertation.
I had had enough of conformity and finally blew a gasket. In frustration, I finally said to myself, "F*** it" and called her out for her overbearing, never-checked policing of the board and her pedantic behavior.
Here is what I posted:
Calm you are being excessively pedantic on this message board. There I said it. I guess, I'm now banned. Screw it, Enjoy your Silo. What could have been a civil conversation on something I felt was an interesting observation has quickly become an exasperating attack for the sin of failing to list the source of a collection of quotes of LDS leaders I found via a simple google search.
But you've won. You have successfully disrupted the flow of the conversation, turning what could have been a lively and engaging exchange of ideas into a tedious nitpicking session of meeting your exacting standards for proper posting. Instead of focusing on the substance of my OP, you've put me on the defense, attacked my character and forced me to get bogged down in trivial details, detracting from the overall enjoyment of this conversation. You've Won, I give up.
You've sent your message loud and clear and I've received it. This board is not a safe place to ask questions or present subject matter unless it meets your exacting standard. Perhaps not your intent, but your stilted, painfully irritating need to dot every i and cross every t, creates a hostile atmosphere for many of the posters here and honestly it drive us away. It's exhausting. But perhaps that is you intent. You prefer homogeneity instead of a diverse platform of ideas and opinions. You seem to get more pleasure from the policing of this board than from creating an environment where a civil discussion and exchange of ideas can take place. You've created a board where people like myself feel hesitant to express ourselves freely for fear of being scrutinized and corrected at every turn over seemingly minuscule matters that are of over whelming importance to you.
For what its worth here is my advice for you, your annoying exactitude stifles honest and genuine expression. By driving folks like myself away, mind you I don't hide behind a wall of anonymity like everyone else here, you are diminishing the value of this community as a space for meaningful dialogue and mutual understanding. You are shrinking the idea gene pool and you know what that does to the over all health of your close-knit community. In essence, while attention to accuracy and precision is important, your obsession with it just results in souring the experience for everyone involved and if not for everyone, it has for me. Everyone else is afraid to tell you the truth for fear of being banned, but you are an annoying influence on this board and frankly my dear I just don't give a damn.
And as expected, all of the board members doubled down in their support of poor little Calm, many expressing their love and appreciation for Calm's rule keeping.
I don't blame MD&D, it's their board and their rules and I acknowledge that so much of what I perceived as petty rules just rubbed me the wrong way. It was like posting in an airtight, sealed box while wearing a straight jacket and in the end, I just needed some fresh air and be able to breathe. MD&D is a suffocating environment.
So my experiment and attempt at civil dialogue at MD&D is over. My attempt, though very flawed, is done. They can enjoy their silo of ideas and their mental inbreeding by patting themselves on their backs knowing that they have once again successfully ran yet another thought provoker away. Well done MD&D.