Alternate Facts, Baby

[sock puppet]

Glinda the Good Witch instructs Dorothy to
"Close your eyes
Tap the heels of your ruby slippers together three times
Repeat the phrase, 'There's no place like home' "

And what do you know? Dorothy was back home.

In reality, it takes more than repeating something three times. It takes attending church services weekly, if not also "reading your scriptures daily." And what do you know? You're convinced you won't really die, but go on forever.

Or, perhaps listening to right-wing radio endlessly. And what do you know? You're convinced...

It's all alternate facts, baby.

[I Have Questions]

Here's an interesting (to me) thought.

Person A is born into the Church, serves a mission, gets married early, has lots of kids, pays a full tithe their who life, pays to send all their kids on missions, serves in all the Church callings possible, Bishop, Stake President, serves as a Mission president, sacrificing their career to do so. Retires, pays to serve a senior mission and leaves all the wealth to the Church when they die. They endured to the end and will go to the Celestial Kingdom.

Person B, a widower, joins the Church at 85 years old, dies a week later. A proxy does his remaining temple ordinances after his death, and so he will also go to the Celestial kingdom.

It is significantly harder for Person A to not make some mistakes in his life that will scupper his chances of achieving the Celestial Kingdom. Not only that, some part of his family will likely go inactive, or do something that means they cannot all achieve the Celestial Kingdom. person B has sailed through life with his family, completely without eternal jeopardy and will more easily achieve the top kingdom.

Joining the Church early, or your parents baptising you at 8 years old, is actually making it harder for you, per Mormonism.

[drumdude]

Here's an interesting (to me) thought.

Person A is born into the Church, serves a mission, gets married early, has lots of kids, pays a full tithe their who life, pays to send all their kids on missions, serves in all the Church callings possible, Bishop, Stake President, serves as a Mission president, sacrificing their career to do so. Retires, pays to serve a senior mission and leaves all the wealth to the Church when they die. They endured to the end and will go to the Celestial Kingdom.

Person B, a widower, joins the Church at 85 years old, dies a week later. A proxy does his remaining temple ordinances after his death, and so he will also go to the Celestial kingdom.

It is significantly harder for Person A to not make some mistakes in his life that will scupper his chances of achieving the Celestial Kingdom. Not only that, some part of his family will likely go inactive, or do something that means they cannot all achieve the Celestial Kingdom. person B has sailed through life with his family, completely without eternal jeopardy and will more easily achieve the top kingdom.

Joining the Church early, or your parents baptising you at 8 years old, is actually making it harder for you, per Mormonism.

Yep. It makes zero sense. If the afterlife is really structured this way, it must have been designed by the same bureaucrats that created the DMV.

[bbbbbbb]

Here's an interesting (to me) thought.

Person A is born into the Church, serves a mission, gets married early, has lots of kids, pays a full tithe their who life, pays to send all their kids on missions, serves in all the Church callings possible, Bishop, Stake President, serves as a Mission president, sacrificing their career to do so. Retires, pays to serve a senior mission and leaves all the wealth to the Church when they die. They endured to the end and will go to the Celestial Kingdom.

Person B, a widower, joins the Church at 85 years old, dies a week later. A proxy does his remaining temple ordinances after his death, and so he will also go to the Celestial kingdom.

It is significantly harder for Person A to not make some mistakes in his life that will scupper his chances of achieving the Celestial Kingdom. Not only that, some part of his family will likely go inactive, or do something that means they cannot all achieve the Celestial Kingdom. person B has sailed through life with his family, completely without eternal jeopardy and will more easily achieve the top kingdom.

Joining the Church early, or your parents baptising you at 8 years old, is actually making it harder for you, per Mormonism.

There is a parallel universe with the Roman Catholic Church in this regard. John Wayne knew the drill which is why when he was literally on his deathbed he summoned the local Catholic Cardinal to his bedside to baptize him and give him the Last Rites. According the Roman Catholic theology Mr. Wayne bypassed Purgatory and is, theologically at least, a certified Saint. However, despite a small effort by some Catholics to have him canonized, the Catholic Church decided to stash his records in the Vatican dustbin along with all the infallible Papal Bulls.