I'm Really Lonely

Post by **_moksha** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:18 pm

It was hard on my Mom when my Dad retired and was home underfoot all day. They adjusted however.

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:25 pm

I think I'm still lonely and I'm tired of moping and so disgusted with myself for feeling so needy and emotional. I have no one here. No friends, we don't fit in here. It's a wonderful community and I walk around with a smile plastered on my face feeling as though someone is going to recognize that I don't belong here among them.

I'm so upset that we're here and he's left me to fend on my own! I am so pissed off at him! He darts in and out and expects me to be pleased to see him for the few moments he has. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want him even near me now.

Wow, it's been almost a month and not much has changed since the op except I'm mad.

Post by **_truth dancer** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:32 pm

Hi Book of Mormon...

Have you had some serious, heartfelt, honest discussion? Does your husband know where you are?

~dancer~

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:35 pm

Hi truthdancer. He knows that I want him here. A few weeks ago I begged him to please come home. I feel so vulnerable right now and just need him here. He knows. He just thinks I need to toughen up. He's probably right about that.

Post by **_truth dancer** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:11 pm

Hi truthdancer. He knows that I want him here. A few weeks ago I begged him to please come home. I feel so vulnerable right now and just need him here. He knows. He just thinks I need to toughen up. He's probably right about that.

Nope... you don't just need to "toughen up." (smile)

You need a relationship that is healthy and strong, and a partner who is considerate of his family, who is committed to being a good husband and a good father. I'm not suggesting he is not, I'm saying that if he is not involved in his family to the point you are basically alone, perhaps he needs to rethink some things.

Having a healthy and happy relationship requires interaction, communication, energy, support, care, concern, helping each other, etc. etc..

If things are out of balance, and one partner is struggling, suffering, feeling lonely, maybe even desperate, there is a need for some changes.

Of course people can remain married under uncomfortable, unhealthy, or even horrible situations... people do it all the time. Doesn't mean it is the healthy way to live. Ya know?

:-)

~dancer~

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:36 pm

truth dancer wrote:
Hi truthdancer. He knows that I want him here. A few weeks ago I begged him to please come home. I feel so vulnerable right now and just need him here. He knows. He just thinks I need to toughen up. He's probably right about that.

Nope... you don't just need to "toughen up." (smile)

You need a relationship that is healthy and strong, and a partner who is considerate of his family, who is committed to being a good husband and a good father. I'm not suggesting he is not, I'm saying that if he is not involved in his family to the point you are basically alone, perhaps he needs to rethink some things.

Having a healthy and happy relationship requires interaction, communication, energy, support, care, concern, helping each other, etc. etc..

If things are out of balance, and one partner is struggling, suffering, feeling lonely, maybe even desperate, there is a need for some changes.

Of course people can remain married under uncomfortable, unhealthy, or even horrible situations... people do it all the time. Doesn't mean it is the healthy way to live. Ya know?

:-)

~dancer~

TD, Well I'm glad you don't think I need to toughen up. That's sort of hard for me. :)

I recognize everything you wrote and know that something is going to have to give. I'm actually too spirited to sit here day after day languishing for someone to care for me.

I don't really expect anyone to reply to this and my cyber sobbing. It's just cathartic... I have no one else to tell it to. It's so awful admitting that I'm in a situation where I'm desperate and feel so empty and don't want to admit to anyone (in real life) that I'm in such pain.

Post by **_Who Knows** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:51 pm

Where do you live? And why do you think you don't fit in or belong there?

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:55 pm

Hi Who Knows. We live in a very small (teeny tiny) community in Middle Tennessee. We have one stop light that was put in just this last year.

I know I don't fit in because the other mothers shun me and we are very different than our neighbors in terms of politics and religion. I love this community immensely. I have a beautiful home on a historic street that looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. I just guess I'm not a Norman Rockwell kinda girl, despite my avatar suggesting otherwise. :)

Post by **_Who Knows** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:45 pm

Hmm. Yeah, that would suck. Sorry!

Religion strikes again!

Post by **_sailgirl7** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:02 pm

Barrelomonkeys,

You are not alone in how you feel and what you are going through! Your home does sound lovely- and I've heard how beautiful Tennessee is. I don't fit in in my area either but I decided to ignore that and recently I started a project of gathering supplies and letters to send to the troops in Iraq. Seven is the one who has taught me how to do it, she is an amazing and great person. I've handed out flyers to my neighbors and told everyone what I was doing and I've gotten a great response. I've sent out 10 packages already and I have more ready to mail as soon as I have the money. Also, my neighbor is having a block party on Saturday and I'm setting up a table where all the kids can make cards for the soldiers. Doing this has gotten me out of my comfort zone and helped me stop feeling so sad about things in my life. If I can make someone else happy- that is good enough for me. So loneliness is an opportunity to reach out to others.