The acceptability of using the word 'retarded'

[_asbestosman]

I'll stick my neck out again for another question. Why is it that people get offended when referring to others as "retarded", but they do not make such a stink when referring to others as "blind", "lame", or "deaf"? Why are some differneces sacred as it were--something one must not use as an insult or joke wheras others are not?

I'm also curious as to why the mentally challenged are seen as the sweetest, most loving. I mean, does that imply that higher intelligence is correlated with less love, or more malice? I certainly don't like the implications of that if so. People also say that babies and small chldren are very loving. I think they are very selfish, but that selfishness is mitigated by their innocence. That is, we don't really hold them responsible for their rudeness or selfishness because they don't know better. We therefore do not take offense as quickly. And when small children show acts of kindness, it may be simple, but it is often without hidden agenda (or a very simple one) and we appreciate that too. The adult world is often complex with all kinds of crazy rules for social interaction. This very debate is a fine example of such complex rules society makes. Kids, on the other hand, have very simple rules for insults, truth, and so on. Maybe that simpleness is wonderful because it makes us reflect on our self-imposed complications. Is it really worth it?

[_Ren]

I'll stick my neck out again for another question. Why is it that people get offended when referring to others as "retarded", but they do not make such a stink when referring to others as "blind", "lame", or "deaf"? Why are some differences sacred as it were--something one must not use as an insult or joke wheras others are not?

It's a very good point asb.
It's probably to do with the idea that our mind determines - more or less - who we 'really' are.

Take away my eyes, and I'm still essentially the same person.
Take away my ears, the same. (Although I could no longer listen to music, so I think I'd rather have my eyes taken on balance).

...but alter some fundamental part of my mind, and am I still 'me' anymore?

I think that's the aspect of it that causes the strong feeling...


I don't think it was 'that' offensive - although I'm quite sure it's perfectly reasonable to be taken so. (I think it's as much to do with the fact that I know Nehor well enough to take it the right way, as much as anything else. I mean, I can imagine a lot of other people making the same joke and getting a far worse reception...)

The main point about it is the context - the joke requires the negative connotation against the group of people mentioned for it to even work. (The pure use of the word 'retarded' isn't the problem in my opinion...)

It wasn't particularly funny either. And I'm quite offended by that...! :)

[_truth dancer]

If anyone has volunteered or observed a special olympics event, they would witness one of the most glorious events on our planet.

You see people with all sorts of disabilities putting forth amazing effort, smiles as big as the sun, gentle human beings brimming with a joy most of us will never experience. You see families and loved ones celebrating the joy of their children, siblings or friends who for a moment or two feels a sense of accomplishment that does not come easy. You see communities, honoring life and for a time forgetting about their stuggles as they come together to share in the love and joy these participants experience.

in my opinion, being involved in the Special Olympics has been one of the highlights of my life... has taught me more than any church or scripture, and has given me more moments of pure joy than nearly anything.

The "joke" was basically...

Some guy standing on the sidelines, laughing at a young girl as she crossed the finish line after an heroic effort... and laughing in her face... yelling to the family.. ha, ha, ha.. so what that you just ran across the finish line. You are still retarded. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm sorry but anyone who would think such a thing let alone say such a thing is cruel.

I find it amazing that anyone tries to justify such behavior. I truly do. Call me overly sensitive if you want. I'm still in shock that there are those who find this sort of behavior acceptable or decent or even humane.

My position has nothing to do with a word, the use of a word, or what it means to be slow or fast, retarded, brilliant, or anything... it has to do with cruelty towards those who are in need of care and compassion.

~dancer~

[_Some Schmo]

Some guy standing on the sidelines, laughing at a young girl as she crossed the finish line after an heroic effort... and laughing in her face... yelling to the family.. ha, ha, ha.. so what that you just ran across the finish line. You are still retarded. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm sorry but anyone who would think such a thing let alone say such a thing is cruel.

I find it amazing that anyone tries to justify such behavior. I truly do. Call me overly sensitive if you want. I'm still in shock that there are those who find this sort of behavior acceptable or decent or even humane.

TD, you know I respect you, but this is just outrageous.

If, what was intended was what you described above, then yes, that's offensive. But holy crap, that's one major projection of what you think people are thinking/doing when they use the word "retarded." This is a classic example of drumming up some abstract scenario in your mind, superimposing it over what was said, and then being offended by it.

Do you really think Nehor was thinking of mentally retarded or Special Olympics folks when he made his comment?

I suppose you, and everyone else in this thread, has a right to be offended by whatever they want. Just don't be surprised when others don't share your offenses.

[_truth dancer]

I'll stick my neck out again for another question. Why is it that people get offended when referring to others as "retarded", but they do not make such a stink when referring to others as "blind", "lame", or "deaf"? Why are some differneces sacred as it were--something one must not use as an insult or joke wheras others are not?

Please read my above post.

Those who purposefully and degradingly use the word, "retard" are doing so with cruelty. You know this. The difference is not the problem, the cruelty is. It is not about pity it is about compassion and care for human beings.

I'm also curious as to why the mentally challenged are seen as the sweetest, most loving.

In my personal experience, because it is true. :-)

I'm certainly not suggesting all people with any form of impairment or challenges are more loving than everyone else. But certainly and by far, the most loving, caring, concerned, angel like people I KNOW, are those who have some disability.

~dancer~

[_truth dancer]

Hi Schmo... I like you too!

If, what was intended was what you described above, then yes, that's offensive. But holy crap, that's one major projection of what you think people are thinking/doing when they use the word "retarded." This is a classic example of drumming up some abstract scenario in your mind, superimposing it over what was said, and then being offended by it.

Yeah, I do think that was what was intended. I'm NOT talking about using the word retarded. I'm talking about the "joke."

Lets review the "joke"


"Even if you win the special olympics you are still retarded."

Help me understand why that doesn't mean what I think it means, and what it says.

I think it is very clear!

~dancer~

[_Some Schmo]

Hi Schmo... I like you too!

If, what was intended was what you described above, then yes, that's offensive. But holy crap, that's one major projection of what you think people are thinking/doing when they use the word "retarded." This is a classic example of drumming up some abstract scenario in your mind, superimposing it over what was said, and then being offended by it.

Yeah, I do think that was what was intended. I'm NOT talking about using the word retarded. I'm talking about the "joke."

Lets review the "joke"


"Even if you win the special olympics you are still retarded."

Help me understand why that doesn't mean what I think it means, and what it says.

I think it is very clear!

~dancer~

LOL...

OK, it's been so long since he made the joke that I forgot what he'd actually said. I concede that imagery is understandable.

*blush*

I was actually thinking of the more common usage that people around here employ (which is to simply call people retarded).

I guess I'm just not one to grant people the power to offend me. It helps me to keep my brain my own, rather than lending it out to folks who want to occupy it. Any time I let someone piss me off, they take over my brain and unless I can let it go, I can't take my brain back. I'm the only one who can control my brain, and who gets to occupy it. No free rent over here!

You know what I'm saying?

[_truth dancer]

Hi Schmo...

LOL...

OK, it's been so long since he made the joke that I forgot what he'd actually said. I concede that imagery is understandable.

*blush*

LOL!

To be honest this my stance is more about human dignity than about offense.

I decided long ago that I would always stand up for those who are abused, degraded, or hurt... particularly children and those who cannot stand up for themselves.

I've said this often... I think it was from Socrates: "What a person writes tell you more about the writer than about what is written." So I truly do not get offended very easily. In other words, I think rude comments, cruelty, and degradation are about the perpetrator not the recipient of the abuse or mistreatment.

Anyway... I feel certain if someone was mistreating a child with disabilites you would be one of the first to intervene!

:-)

~dancer~

[_Some Schmo]

Anyway... I feel certain if someone was mistreating a child with disabilites you would be one of the first to intervene!

:-)

~dancer~

No way... I'm a hard ass... a mean... really really mean... hard ass...

(Let's just keep what you said between us, huh?)

:)

[_asbestosman]

It's probably to do with the idea that our mind determines - more or less - who we 'really' are.

I would think there's more to it than that. I find, for example, that there isn't as big a taboo attached to other emotional or mental conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, or alzheimer's.