I'm Really Lonely

[_aussieguy55]

Its interesting the women here complain of being lonley. Here in Australia there has been some discussion about new Labour laws and how they might effect family life(Sunday will be just another day with no penalty rates for working then). Its been found that many wives and family would prefer time rather than the things that the extra money will bring. Nowdays not only have women to care for husband and children plus their aging parents. I also joked at work that when you are born you care is outsourced (childcare) and when you are old you are outsourced (old age home). You pee your pants and dribble at both ends of the life spectrum. I love the time I spend with my children and grandsons. I have time even though still working to learn chess and play ball with my grandson.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Barrelomonkeys,

You are not alone in how you feel and what you are going through! Your home does sound lovely- and I've heard how beautiful Tennessee is. I don't fit in in my area either but I decided to ignore that and recently I started a project of gathering supplies and letters to send to the troops in Iraq. Seven is the one who has taught me how to do it, she is an amazing and great person. I've handed out flyers to my neighbors and told everyone what I was doing and I've gotten a great response. I've sent out 10 packages already and I have more ready to mail as soon as I have the money. Also, my neighbor is having a block party on Saturday and I'm setting up a table where all the kids can make cards for the soldiers. Doing this has gotten me out of my comfort zone and helped me stop feeling so sad about things in my life. If I can make someone else happy- that is good enough for me. So loneliness is an opportunity to reach out to others.

Hi sailgirl! :)

I do a lot of volunteer work because I've found that I'm happiest when I'm doing for others. I think now though (at this point in my life) it's actually time I need someone to care for me.

I'm sorry you feel out of place in your community as well. I'm glad you've found something that works for you.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Its interesting the women here complain of being lonley. Here in Australia there has been some discussion about new Labour laws and how they might effect family life(Sunday will be just another day with no penalty rates for working then). Its been found that many wives and family would prefer time rather than the things that the extra money will bring. Nowdays not only have women to care for husband and children plus their aging parents. I also joked at work that when you are born you care is outsourced (childcare) and when you are old you are outsourced (old age home). You pee your pants and dribble at both ends of the life spectrum. I love the time I spend with my children and grandsons. I have time even though still working to learn chess and play ball with my grandson.

Hi aussie. My husband is on salary and works the hours he does because he feels a tremendous amount of pressure to do whatever he finds is so important at his work. :)

I'm not a very materialistic person. I love my home because my family is here. Or it was when he decided to be here too.

You sound like such a proud grandfather! That sounds marvelous that you can spend time with your grandson and I'm sure that will make a lasting impression on him!

[_Gazelam]

I've heard you say before that you didn't care much for some things in your past. Look at this as a fresh start. Be like a Marine and adapt and overcome. Semper Fi ! Stay who you are, but embrace your new enviorment, be sure to look for the good and not pick apart the bad. If you pick apart the bad things, your sure to become discouraged and mean hearted. Stop yourself if you catch yourself doing that. Your attitude towards this is going to determine alot.

What do you yourself like about small towns?

Heres some help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eDkAG3R0h8

Personally I would recomend gettign a copy of Bob Segers album "Nine tonight". It will help set your mood right. Also you should get a truck.

[_Gazelam]

[Guest]

Hi Gaz, I think of this song too from JM when I think of small towns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q17h75pMQ4

I don't have a problem with this community. I love it! I meet so many people that live in camouflage and talk of things that seem so bizarre to me yet I find them enduring! I love the South and I love this place I call home now. I want my kids to grow up in a place that I always dreamed of when I was a child. A simple place and people that are just "good folk". :)

It's not them that's the problem. It's me. Tongues cluck about behavior or thoughts or people and I stand there smiling and nodding and know that I am one of those people.

This is our home when we moved in 2 years ago. You can see from my front porch and all of the bikes that it is a mix of my children, friends, and lots of more friends in the home. I'm willing to sit here quietly and continue to paste a smile on while they have a wonderful childhood. I just am very, very, very lonely.


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[_Gazelam]

Whats the deal with the other moms? Nothing to talk about with them? They too different?

Great house bytheway.

[_Bond...James Bond]

Barrelomonkeys,

Did you formerly live in a more urbanized area.....withdraw from the stuff available near a city is often very difficult.

[Guest]

Gaz, They're just not very friendly with me at all. I have to constantly be on guard too.. I have issues with impulse control anyway (thanks to my youth) and have to constantly watch myself.

For instance. I went on a field trip and the ladies were sitting about talking about something that I happened to know quite a bit about and I just interjected, quite innocently, some statistics on the matter and the entire room went silent. I was so embarrassed and knew I looked like maybe I was being a show off or something? I'm not sure... but it was awkward nonetheless. Most of them grew up here and we're outsiders. I go to Church with them and play the part but I'm not a Christian and can't be true to myself and lie to them when they ask me if I've accepted Christ.

I had one Mom freak out on me at a ball field because her husband was talking to me. I'd never been so mortified in my entire life! I dress very modestly and try as best I can to blend in but I'm not mommified and enjoy looking pretty and I don't think that is appreciated either.

Anyway.. I just wish I fit in more. Blah blah blah *whine*

[_barrelomonkeys]

Barrelomonkeys,

Did you formerly live in a more urbanized area.....withdraw from the stuff available near a city is often very difficult.

Oh, I'm okay being away from the big cities Bond. :) I do miss restaurants and shopping but I've adjusted. My husband is from San Diego however and complains constantly that he misses the food.