12 percent of people report having no friends

[doubtingthomas]

I don't believe that you don't know why you posted it. Quid pro quo. So, if you don't define having a close friendship as having a German lesbian woman twerking on you, why bring it up?

It was a response to your nonsensical question. Your question "Are you bitter or resentful about that?" was not appropriate.

What's next? Are you going to ask me if I suffer from ED?

[Doctor Steuss]

The progression of “the article isn’t specific about the source” to mentioning twerking lesbians, and erectile function exceeds any expectations I may have had about this thread.

5 Stars, would read again.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

DID SOMEBODY SAY TWERK?!?!?

[Res Ipsa]

I don't believe that you don't know why you posted it. Quid pro quo. So, if you don't define having a close friendship as having a German lesbian woman twerking on you, why bring it up?

It was a response to your nonsensical question. Your question "Are you bitter or resentful about that?" was not appropriate.

What's next? Are you going to ask me if I suffer from ED?

You started this thread with:

The other thread was hijacked, so hopefully this time we can have a discussion about the friendship recession.

The next thing you posted, after three comments about the source of the statistics in the article you linked, was:

I'm glad Doctor Steuss and Res Ipsa have great friends and a fulfilling social life. They should pat each other on the back.

That sounded resentful and bitter to me, so I asked. Why do you think it is inappropriate to ask a question about why you posted something? Why do you claim such a question is "nonsensical?"

[Marcus]

The progression of “the article isn’t specific about the source” to mentioning twerking lesbians, and erectile function exceeds any expectations I may have had about this thread.

5 Stars, would read again.

(...I suppose it would be selfish to also propose a fruition of the Fistful of Festivus Penguins, she puts forward pensively...)

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

The other thread was hijacked, so hopefully this time we can have a discussion about the friendship recession.

12 percent of people report having no close friends
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well ... umber.html

Have you read the survey Dr. Steuss referenced? Source:

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/re ... -and-loss/

- Doc

[Res Ipsa]

The more I think about the article linked in the OP, the more I wonder about the impact of changes to people's definitions of "friend" or "close friend" over time. I think that may be particularly true with friendships between and among men. One of the people in the article quoted at the beginning of the first thread on this topic said:

Marc Schapiro, a 24-year-old English teacher from Maryland, agrees. He says he was taught male friendship is “stoic and lacking outward affection”. But now he sees a different portrayal of friendship on social media, particularly by women and lgbt people. He would love, he says, to be able to “show more affection and drop the constant snide comments and ribbing”, but he finds the disconnect between what he grew up believing about friendship and how he sees other people relating to each other unsettling. The “quasi-socialising” he and his friends do online, via games and various message boards, meets no real need, he adds.

Today, I would say that I've had a total of four close friendships in my life (excluding spouses). I've gone through decades where I would say I didn't have a close friendship. In my experience, close friendships require lots of time to develop and maintain. I can't imaging ever having six at the same time.

It's easy to imagine that, at earlier times in my life, I would have considered what I think of know as "friendships" as "close friendships," so I suspect my definition has changed over time.

I've also experienced loneliness. At times, brutal loneliness. And I didn't care for it one bit. But I did discover that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone meant that I spent more time with myself, which, for me, were times of significant growth. It allowed me to develop some personal resilience that I never had before. Loneliness, though, was pure pain for me, and made me appreciate the friendships that I did have even though I wasn't seeing them.

[Doctor Steuss]

The more I think about the article linked in the opening post, the more I wonder about the impact of changes to people's definitions of "friend" or "close friend" over time. I think that may be particularly true with friendships between and among men. One of the people in the article quoted at the beginning of the first thread on this topic said:

Marc Schapiro, a 24-year-old English teacher from Maryland, agrees. He says he was taught male friendship is “stoic and lacking outward affection”. But now he sees a different portrayal of friendship on social media, particularly by women and lgbt people. He would love, he says, to be able to “show more affection and drop the constant snide comments and ribbing”, but he finds the disconnect between what he grew up believing about friendship and how he sees other people relating to each other unsettling. The “quasi-socialising” he and his friends do online, via games and various message boards, meets no real need, he adds.

This reminded me of an Invisibilia Episode about how breaking down the “stoic and lacking outward affection” aspects of male interactions drastically improved safety on an oil rig.

One of the side-notes in the survey the article was assumedly based on touches on friendships with parents. If someone were to ask me, “name your closest friends,” they’d get a list of probably 5 people -- depending on how my noggin and ticker interpreted “close” in the moment. Yet, when I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go on a weeklong gold prospecting adventure in California a few years back, none of those friends came to mind. The only person I thought to ask to join me was my dad. Similarly, my siblings would easily be classified as “friends” if they didn’t have the alternative label of “siblings.”

It’s incredible how much the answer can change, regarding friendships, just by altering the frame of reference slightly.

I've also experienced loneliness. At times, brutal loneliness. And I didn't care for it one bit. But I did discover that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone meant that I spent more time with myself, which, for me, were times of significant growth. It allowed me to develop some personal resilience that I never had before. Loneliness, though, was pure pain for me, and made me appreciate the friendships that I did have even though I wasn't seeing them.

I'm sorry you've known this, but immensely grateful it's (hopefully forever) in the past.

[doubtingthomas]

Have you read the survey Dr. Steuss referenced? Source:

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/re ... -and-loss/

- Doc

Not really,

[doubtingthomas]

That sounded resentful and bitter to me, so I asked.

Well, I'm not resentful or bitter.