The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_DoubtingThomas]

Well, you'll get that experience much faster by dealing with women around your own age. Your experience will suck unless you are challenged.

Can you give me some references or statistics? An 18 year old guy is far more likely than a 24 year old guy to abuse and/or rape an 18 year old woman. 18 year old men are statistically more immature and more abusive, and are very dangerous behind the wheel. I think an 18 year old girl is probably better off with someone more mature and economically stable.

Sure, girls have the freedom to make mistakes just like everyone else. It doesn't make it smart or right for the older guy taking advantage of that situation.

I don't see it as taking advantage. We are human beings. It is very hard for me to find someone and if a 18 year old woman (compatible) wants to date me I won't reject her. If we are compatible I would do it. Feeling lonely is bad for your health and is killing people.

"Loneliness Rivals Obesity, Smoking as Health Risk"

https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/2018 ... ealth-risk

Being attracted to younger women (out of your peer group) is not a sexual orientation. It's not even like a sexual orientation. It's a problem with your psyche.

Can you give me some medical references? Being attracted to younger women is not a choice and I will give you some references when I have more time. You can't control your attraction, but you can control your actions.

[_Some Schmo]

Can you give me some medical references? Being attracted to younger women is not a choice and I will give you some references when I have more time. You can't control your attraction, but you can control your actions.

Here's the thing. You've got this cock, see? And it clouds your judgment. It makes you think things that later on seem crazy.

Attraction is not intimacy. It's your balls telling you it's time to “F”. Trust me; no matter how beautiful or wonderful or perfect the woman you're considering seems when you first meet her, you'll soon find out that almost everything you were attracted to was an illusion. That generally happens right around the time you get to really know her. The fantasy you were "in love with" has given way to the real person underneath, and now you have to decide if your relationship is strong enough to withstand coexisting with that real person. That's when actual intimacy begins.

Forget about attraction (or at least, relegate it to its proper place). It's a sure path to disappointment. You should be looking for intimacy, not a trophy.

[_honorentheos]

Being attracted to younger women is not a choice and I will give you some references when I have more time. You can't control your attraction, but you can control your actions.

You should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

[_DoubtingThomas]

Trust me; no matter how beautiful or wonderful or perfect the woman you're considering seems when you first meet her, you'll soon find out that almost everything you were attracted to was an illusion.

Everything is a disappointment over time because we humans are not wired for a long term relationship.

The fantasy you were "in love with" has given way to the real person underneath, and now you have to decide if your relationship is strong enough to withstand coexisting with that real person. That's when actual intimacy begins.

And very few have a successful marriage after a long period of time. Its all in our evolutionary biology.

Attraction is not intimacy. .

Why can't a 24 year old guy have an intimate relationship with an 18 year old woman? It is very common and happens all the time.

That's when actual intimacy begins.

It is hard for me to find a woman and I really can't afford to reject someone I like. I won't automatically reject an 18 year old woman (compatible) only because of her age. To clarify it doesn't have to be an 18 year old woman.

You should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

Okay. But I don't have a sex addiction.

[_honorentheos]

You should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

Okay. But I don't have a sex addiction.

Just let the professional sort it out. But go see one.

[_DoubtingThomas]

It's a problem with your psyche..

And that is not true according to brain research and I don't believe in the spirit or soul. Attraction to younger women can be detected in the brain as early as birth.

[Guest]

Just let the professional sort it out. But go see one.

What do I tell him/her? Do I tell him/her: "Doctor, I am looking for a woman that is 18 years or older, what is wrong with me doctor? ". But no seriously, what do I tell him/her? As I said, I am not targeting 18 year old women because I don't talk to them.

[_Some Schmo]

Trust me; no matter how beautiful or wonderful or perfect the woman you're considering seems when you first meet her, you'll soon find out that almost everything you were attracted to was an illusion.

Everything is a disappointment over time because we humans are not wired for a long term relationship.

We aren't naturally wired to hold our crap until we find a hole to crap in, but we've learned to control the impulse to just go the second it occurs to us. When we're born, we naturally crap our pants. Rape is also in our evolutionary history. Doesn't excuse the behavior, because the hope is that we've evolved beyond it. We can change, given a perceived benefit. Our evolved brains are big enough to make those kinds of switches.

My wife and I are coming up on our 25th wedding anniversary next year. I attribute that to marrying my best friend. Are you trying to tell me my wiring is off? Maybe it is, but I'll take it.

And very few have a successful marriage after a long period of time. Its all in our evolutionary biology.

See above note about crapping your pants.

Why can't a 24 year old guy have an intimate relationship with an 18 year old woman? It is very common and happens all the time.

This has already been explained to you. Read the thread if you need a reminder.

That's when actual intimacy begins.

It is hard for me to find a woman and I really can't afford to reject someone I like. I won't automatically reject an 18 year old woman (compatible) only because of her age. To clarify it doesn't have to be an 18 year old woman.

Well, that's your choice. You told us and now you know what people around here think of it. You're going to do what you're going to do with full awareness. Rationalizing it to yourself won't change the reality of the situation.

[_Some Schmo]

Attraction to younger women can be detected in the brain as early as birth.

I can see why others seem to find you annoying. This is damned nonsense.

[Guest]

Just let the professional sort it out. But go see one.

What do I tell him/her? Do I tell him/her: "Doctor, I am looking for a woman that is 18 years or older, what is wrong with me doctor? ". But no seriously, what do I tell him/her? As I said, I am not targeting 18 year old women because I don't talk to them.

Just tell them you are DoubtingThomas on this thread and share your other history with them. They're pros, they'll take it from there.