Legal advice, please

[_Scottie]

Taxes do not have to be paid on child support.

by the way, thanks for speaking up, moclips. My three children are young adults now, 22, 20, and 18. The fact that their father always complained about paying child support (despite the fact that he lied about his income and paid CS on 20,000 a year, while making many times that amount - he is self employed) is one of the many things he has done to permanently damage their relationship with him. My oldest son tolerates him in doses, my middle son sees him very rarely (we're talking Xmas, Thanksgiving, and maybe birthday), and my daughter is well on that path herself. They deeply resented the fact that we always struggled to make ends meet while their dad was able to buy himself toys like a big, fancy boat for the few times he goes to the beach a year. And yes, to him it always felt like he was giving ME money, yet the kids knew good and well every cent went to them. You really have to be careful with these things. Kids absorb everything. Everything. I'm not saying this is anything like your situation, scottie, and I doubt it is because you seem decent, but still, be careful.

I understand what you are saying, and I don't begrudge paying her the alimony and child support AT ALL.

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

I guess the real issue here is her greed. I'm sure when push came to shove, I wouldn't take the alimony away because, well, Moclips and Beastie are right...that would just hurt the kids.

[_skippy the dead]

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

This is when an order from the court outlining her responsibilities and the expected end of spousal support comes in handy. Seriously. Otherwise she's just looking at a blank check, with no motivation to change.

[_truth dancer]

Hi Abman,

If the IRS dips into that pie, then I don't see why the church shouldn't get a slice either.

Do you think all churches should get ten percent from their entire congregation or just the LDS church?

~dancer~

[_asbestosman]

If the IRS dips into that pie, then I don't see why the church shouldn't get a slice either.

Do you think all churches should get ten percent from their entire congregation or just the LDS church?

All churches and only voluntarily.

I'm just giving my opinion on who's responsibility it is. I don't pay my parents or siblings tithing and I don't pay their taxes either--it's their responsibility. I think the same standard should hold for ex-spouses. That was more or less what I was trying to say.

[_moksha]

So Scottie, what have you decided?

[_Scottie]

So Scottie, what have you decided?

We'll see how far she pushes the issue.

If she pushes too far, I'll probably hire a lawyer just to scare her and make her back down a bit.

I'll keep y'all posted.

[_Dr. Shades]

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

How did she find out that you got a raise?

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd start claiming every so often that your pay had been cut.

[_Scottie]

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

How did she find out that you got a raise?

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd start claiming every so often that your pay had been cut.

Well, we have a pretty good relationship, and in my excitement, I told her.

Like I said, I don't want to hurt her or the kids. I know she'll never make as much as me, or even close!

[_Jersey Girl]

Scottie,

I haven't read all of the replies here, just the first few posts. You want to wipe out maintenance for your ex and you also understand that child support will continue.

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

[_Imwashingmypirate]

Is she benefitting more by working in a dead end job? Because if she is, then perhaps she is just using you. I think that regardless of your ex's circumstances your childrn should always recieve support. I don't think partners should have to pay to support their ex, just their children and if the ex can't afford to support the children then support the parent too, but She is quite capable of supporting herself with her qualifications.

Just my opinion.