The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_Jersey Girl]

I'm practicing not being a tight ass.

Nice Jersey Girl. Well then in that spirit, I will accept you're willingness to spar.

On guard!

Sure but first I'll have to stock up on meat tenderizer.

To clean up the blood.

[_Some Schmo]

Sure but first I'll have to stock up on meat tenderizer.

To clean up the blood.

LOL

I've found meat tenderizers tend to make more of a mess than help clean.

[_Some Schmo]

And by the way, don't think it's lost on me that you brought up meat tenderizers in a thread about a lonely guy trying to get a date.

[_Some Schmo]

And by the way, don't think it's lost on me that you brought up meat tenderizers in a thread about a lonely guy trying to get a date.

It occurs to me I have understated what this thread is about here. Sometimes, brevity is bad.

[_DoubtingThomas]

This conversation reminds me of a relationship I witnessed several years ago between a 24 year old male and a 19 year old woman (absolutely gorgeous girl, by the way, as though that's somehow germane to the conversation). It was easily perceivable how much this guy was manipulating (and abusing) her. I explained it to her in certain, easy to understand terms, and she still didn't really grasp what I was telling her. She was in too deep. It was one of those spirit-crushing experiences that makes me perhaps more generally sympathetic of women's concerns than other men.

Manipulation is the problem, not the age. Being 18 or 19 doesn't automatically make you immature. Some 18 year old women are more mature (and have more experience) than 24 year old men.

Attraction to younger women can be detected in the brain as early as birth.

I can see why others seem to find you annoying. This is ____ nonsense.

If we want a productive conversation we should be open to new information. You didn't ask me for any references, I am simply waiting.

[_Lemmie]

[DoubtingThomas,] you should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

Best advice yet.

[_Some Schmo]

If we want a productive conversation we should be open to new information. You didn't ask me for any references, I am simply waiting.

You don't need me to ask you for references if you feel the urge to provide them.

I'm always open to new information, but that information has to at least pass an initial smell test. You might claim to have a reference supporting the idea that gnomes make underwear for profit. I'm likely going to approach that reference with tremendous skepticism.

And of course, you completely ignored what I had to say about attraction, so I'm not sure why you're complaining about not living up to a productive conversation. Don't start playing games with me, man. I'm actually taking you at face value when my instincts are screaming at me that I'm wasting time.

[_DoubtingThomas]

And of course, you completely ignored what I had to say about attraction, so I'm not sure why you're complaining about not living up to a productive conversation.

Attraction is not an illusion. Looks do matter. According to a 2008 study, "Instead, the relative difference between partners' levels of attractiveness appeared to be most important in predicting marital behavior, such that both spouses behaved more positively in relationships in which wives were more attractive than their husbands, but they behaved more negatively in relationships in which husbands were more attractive than their wives."

McNulty, James K., Lisa A. Neff, and Benjamin R. Karney. "Beyond initial attraction: physical attractiveness in newlywed marriage." Journal of Family Psychology 22.1 (2008): 135.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-01362-014

And according to a 2014 study, "Whereas husbands were more satisfied at the beginning of the marriage and remained more satisfied over the next 4 years to the extent that they had an attractive wife, wives were no more or less satisfied initially or over the next 4 years to the extent that they had an attractive husband. Most importantly, a direct test indicated that partner physical attractiveness played a larger role in predicting husbands’ satisfaction than predicting wives’ satisfaction. These findings strengthen support for the idea that sex differences in self-reported preferences for physical attractiveness do have implications for long-term relationship outcomes"

Meltzer, Andrea L., et al. "Sex differences in the implications of partner physical attractiveness for the trajectory of marital satisfaction." Journal of personality and social psychology 106.3 (2014): 418.

https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2013-35735-001

And frankly most men do think younger women are more attractive.

I'm always open to new information, but that information has to at least pass an initial smell test. You might claim to have a reference supporting the idea that gnomes make underwear for profit. I'm likely going to approach that reference with tremendous skepticism..

Well, I do have some good references about men being attracted to younger women according to brain research. Just waiting for you to ask.

[DoubtingThomas,] you should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

Best advice yet.

I only want to find a girlfriend.

[_Lemmie]

DT, in my expert opinion, having commented on things that are none of my business over a long life approaching the hundred year mark, my guess would be that you don't want to be in a relationship. You might disagree, and I could be wrong about my prediction, but have you at least considered the possibility that you don't want to be in a relationship?

I'm not playing word games with the word "relationship", relationships can be good or bad, and neither is it good or bad to want to be in one, so there is no judgment here.

If there's stuff that I want at Walmart, but I never go because I don't want to park in the back and walk, but neither do I want to get there early and compete with all those idiots for front-row parking, then I should at least consider the possibility that I don't really want to go to Walmart.

Gadianton posted this pages back, did you read it, DT? You are just going in circles with your posts. You also didn't specify the maximum number of dicks (YOUR term) your future girlfriend can have "received." (Again, YOUR term.)

[_Jersey Girl]

[DoubtingThomas,] you should seek professional help. You lack social and emotional control skills as evidenced by your behaviour on the board. If you believe in the primacy of science and modern medicine, recognize you need outside professional assistance to gain what you are missing.

Best advice yet.

I only want to find a girlfriend.

You aren't prepared to have a girlfriend.

How many people in how many ways have to tell you that you need assistance? In reply to me, you said you don't have time.

Once again. If you don't have time (or interest) to address your personal issues you have no business inviting a woman into your life.

You aren't prepared to have a girlfriend.