doubtingthomas’s topics MEGATHREAD

[doubtingthomas]

Get. Help. Now.

Just admit it so we can end this conversation faster.

[Res Ipsa]

Get. Help. Now.

Just admit it so we can end this conversation faster.

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

[canpakes]

So, let me get this straight. You’re very picky about looks, having fixated on the idea of finding someone ‘young and beautiful’. But women aren’t allowed to be picky in return?

I'll praise the women who are very picky about looks, as long as they never stop caring about good looks.
It's a good thing to have high standards, but so sad to lower your standards later in life.

You're telling me that you practice the same pickiness/choosiness as someone else, but the problem is also only ever someone else.

How should someone go about training you out of your pickiness? Let’s hear some ideas.

Anyways, is it really that bad to tell women not to date a Laundrie?

People make choices for their own reasons. They don’t owe you an explanation, and you don’t have the right to assume that the woman you want is dating someone other than you because the other fellow is an asshole. Even if an Independent Asshole Assessment Committee might make a determination on that and end up agreeing with you, then what? Are you wanting some sort of authority or agency to step in and separate them, and reassign your chosen woman to you?

You’re wanting to define the situation in ways where you can magically have someone or something else be blamed for and solve your problem for you, but you haven’t thought out how that could even work. That’s convenient, because it buys you time to just stew in your juices about how the nonexistent, impractical ‘solution’ yet to be invented isn’t being implemented for you, instead of working on the things that you could do with yourself to change the odds in your favor.

[doubtingthomas]

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

Res Ipsa,

I know you are a very intelligent man. Most people don't come here to troll, people come here to learn and to have their voices heard.

It's of no help when you can't acknowledge at least some of my points, that's not how human psychology works. You want me to get "Help" ASAP, but why should I listen to you when you are not listening to anything I am saying?

If I am the problem, then why are Mexicans and Europeans nice to me? Why are LDS nice to me? A lot of people come here to talk a lot of crap about the church, do they need help too?

You're telling me that you practice the same pickiness/choosiness as someone else, but the problem is also only ever someone else.

No canpakes.

The problem is that a lot of people are very picky when they are young, but lower their standards after hitting the wall.

Don't be picky if you'll stop being picky in the future.

[doubtingthomas]

You're not a nice guy.

If I am the problem, then why are Mexicans and Europeans nice to me? Why are LDS nice to me?

[doubtingthomas]

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

I'll get help, but thank you so much for not ignoring what I am saying. You are such a great friend!

I obviously don't need a community, right Res Ipsa?

[doubtingthomas]

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

I need a therapist to help me be happier, not to fix me. I am not the problem.

I'll talk to one this month.

[canpakes]

You're telling me that you practice the same pickiness/choosiness as someone else, but the problem is also only ever someone else.

No canpakes.

The problem is that a lot of people are very picky when they are young, but lower their standards after hitting the wall.

Don't be picky if you'll stop being picky in the future.

“Don’t be picky” in this case means, Choose me when I want you to choose me.

You’ve mentioned that you sought after a young, beautiful woman. A virgin, even. But - now - you still want to be choosy, by making your own selection - and denying the other party a say in it.

[Marcus]

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

Res Ipsa,

I know you are a very intelligent man. Most people don't come here to troll, people come here to learn and to have their voices heard.

It's of no help when you can't acknowledge at least some of my points, that's not how human psychology works. You want me to get "Help" ASAP, but why should I listen to you when you are not listening to anything I am saying?

If I am the problem, then why are Mexicans and Europeans nice to me? Why are LDS nice to me? A lot of people come here to talk a lot of crap about the church, do they need help too?

You're telling me that you practice the same pickiness/choosiness as someone else, but the problem is also only ever someone else.

No canpakes.

The problem is that a lot of people are very picky when they are young, but lower their standards after hitting the wall.

Don't be picky if you'll stop being picky in the future.

Yet another of DoubtingThomas's misogynistic incel topics he's picked up....

...the cautionary tale delivered to young women [is] about ‘hitting the wall;’ a horror story of love, rejection, fear, revenge, and wrinkles. The ‘wall’ is a new term; the concept is centuries old....

This is a popular topic among ‘red pill’ communities, MGTOW members, incels, and similar internet hangouts. The umbrella term for groups like this is the ‘manosphere.’

Society fed this tired old trope to women, long before the internet existed.... The manosphere trots out extra nonsense about what they imagine they’ll be doing when women their age hit the wall....

Why does this theory persist?

One word: rejection. What we’re dealing with is a bunch of guys with hurt feelings because a woman (or women) dared to turn down their advances. If a guy lacks the maturity to take rejection, the wall becomes a comforting revenge fantasy:

‘Yeah, think you’re so hot, screwing all those Chads? Just you wait until you hit the wall, b*tch. You’ll be ready to settle down, but no one will have you. You’ll have ugly wrinkles by then. In the meantime, I’m going to be a rich silver fox, and 20-year-old women everywhere won’t be able to keep their hands off me. When you come crawling back to me, I’ll laugh, nay, spit in your face.’

Do you remember being in kindergarten? The kid who said his dad was going to beat up your dad? This is the version for angry, rejected guys.

....Young manosphere types must learn to grow up. When you’re rejected, what can you do? You can say, ‘oh, well. How disappointing.’ Then you respect her wishes and move on. You realize rejection and external validation don’t define you.

What’s better than threatening women with an imaginary wall?

For starters, men must remember women are human beings with their own desires and goals. Respect their rights to decide for themselves with no one else’s input. Each woman knows what her best interests are; nobody else can decide for her. So guys? If you’re ranting about the wall, you need to mind your own business.

https://medium.com/sharon-alger/women-s ... 6049491aae

[Res Ipsa]

You can end it right now. Log off and get to work finding a qualified therapist and making an appointment ASAP.

I need a therapist to help me be happier, not to fix me. I am not the problem.

I'll talk to one this month.

You have a fundamental misconception about therapy that will interfere with the benefits of therapy. The cause of your obsession with who young women choose to form relationships with is the same thing that is keeping you from being happy. You’ve got a brain that is acting in ways that sabotage your happiness. Saying that you are not the problem misses the point. You have a problem. You’re not happy. How do you fix that problem? You teach your brain to stop sabotaging you so that you can be happy. And a good therapist will help you do that.

The fact that you mentioned getting even with women who turned you down by turning them down at some point is a huge clue that your brain is sabotaging you. Our brains spew out thoughts and emotions constantly - thousands of time every day. We teach our brains which of these thoughts and emotions are important by how we react to them. Clinging to thoughts tells the brain the thought is important. Actively resisting tells the brain the thought is important. This creates the opportunity for self reinforcing feedback loops that can lead to obsession with a thought or emotion.

Resentment is a good example. If you felt very hurt about being turned down by pretty young women in your prime, thinking about that hurt - reliving it over and over and imagining the day you’ll get even when they “hit the wall” and come crawling back — could teach your brain that young women are a threat worthy of anger and resentment. Now you’d have a self reinforcing feedback loop. You didn’t intend it. You didn’t set out to be angry and resentful toward young women — it’s just brains doing what they do.

Most people think of themselves as good people. Even people who do some pretty awful things. It’s probably a survival mechanism. And we all do things that contradict what we think good people do. Our brains are great at rationalizing our “bad” behavior, but it’s hard to escape the cognitive dissonance that results from engaging in behavior that is inconsistent with what our picture is of how a good person behaves.

Now, that cognitive dissonance can manifest as anxiety. And your brain can react to anxiety in all sorts of ways. One way is to seek reassurance that the “bad” thoughts or behavior is rational. You could read a bunch of scientific papers to convince yourself that you are justified in feeling resentful of young women. Our you could seek reassurance from others that your reasons for resenting young women are reasonable.

Here’s the problem. These kinds of things can provide short-term relief from the anxiety, but it never lasts. Never. Because the very act of researching our seeking reassurance tells your brain that the issue is really, really, really important. And that amps up the anxiety.

And that’s what makes anxiety so hard to deal with. Anything you actively do to relieve the anxiety can actually reinforce it.

Now, I’m not claiming this is you. But it a description of how obsessions can develop simply through mechanisms that are common to most brains. Our brains didn’t evolve for happiness. They evolved for survival. If you’re going up on the issue of needing to be fixed, you won’t be able to change what your brain is doing that is keeping you from being happy. If you’re not happy, you’re not THE problem. But you HAVE a problem. The only question is are you willing to retain your brain to allow you to be happy. If you are, a therapist can help you do that. If you are willing to put in the time and effort, CBT can really help. All you can change is you, and you have to understand that going in.

And we’ll all know if you get there. You’ll stop obsessing over this issue because your brain will learn that being turned down by women is not the existential threat it thinks it is today.