The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_DoubtingThomas]

Are you homophobic, DT?

How do you define homophobia?

You're more likely to find a cute trans girl.

No way! Maybe when I am like 70 years old for a massage, but not right now.

[_subgenius]

.... I am fine with a woman that is a little bit overweight.

with a pickup line like this...

[_honorentheos]

I am friendly and I always try the friends first approach, but still no success.

DT, probably the best advice you've been given in this thread, as well as elsewhere in the past, is to take to figure out yourself and work on you. Stop trying to get laid. There is no "friends first" approach. Either you are someone's friend or you are not. If you are using friendship to try and get something, most people will sense that and put you on the creepier list.

Instead, build identity capital. That means finding things that you enjoy doing, and investing time and energy into getting really good at them. Identify capital is essential to your long term success as a person.

[_subgenius]

...
I am friendly and I always try the friends first approach, but still no success. I do take things very slow and I am very patient, but it just doesn't work out.
....

Slow and patient?...cause what woman enjoys that?

nevertheless, there is a joke that goes:
If i am being friendly its not because im flirting with you, its because i want to be your friend.
If i am being weird and and awkward, then its because im fliriting with you.

[_DoubtingThomas]

I am friendly and I always try the friends first approach, but still no success.

DT, probably the best advice you've been given in this thread, as well as elsewhere in the past, is to take to figure out yourself and work on you. Stop trying to get laid. There is no "friends first" approach. Either you are someone's friend or you are not. If you are using friendship to try and get something, most people will sense that and put you on the creepier list.

Instead, build identity capital. That means finding things that you enjoy doing, and investing time and energy into getting really good at them. Identify capital is essential to your long term success as a person.

It is good advice thank you, but I do not know how to create an identity capital at work. I don't have the time to join a club or a hiking group. I sometimes go to the bookstore, but I am not good at making new friends. Last month I did meet a girl at Starbucks. I did help the girl with her homework, but I haven't seen her again.

I want to enjoy life because this is probably it. Life is not easy when you come to the realization that you are not eternal.

[Guest]

Stop trying to get laid.

I am realizing that it is not hard at all to get laid. It is very easy to convince a woman to sleep with you. The only problem is that I am talking about women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. The other day I went to a dance club full of cougars and they were just looking at me. It made me feel good for a moment.

Sadly for me it is not easy to find a beautiful girlfriend in her late teens (18-19) or early 20s, but hopefully you are right about the identity capital. I really need to try to be happy. The thought that I am someday going to grow old and die simply torments me.

Seriously, its 2018 get online dating app(s).

Using dating apps is hell of earth! Dating apps are full of scammers and decent-looking girls never talk to you. Last month I wasted about 150 dollars on dating apps for nothing.

[_DoubtingThomas]

Like Sub g. says. Match.com. One can often figure out the personality type within the first couple of sentences of their bio.

I tried it last month, but no luck. It consumes too much of your time. I think I have to put more details about me on my profile and upload more pictures.

[_Chap]

It consumes too much of your time

In comparison with what?

You seem to be very unlikely to meet a potential significant other if you are not prepared to put a LOT of effort into it. So either put the work in, or quit complaining.

[_canpakes]

It consumes too much of your time

In comparison with what?

Lol, right? Just wait until a family comes along. : )

Neither good relationships, nor what might follow, are a hobby.

[_Lemmie]

I am realizing that it is not hard at all to get laid. It is very easy to convince a woman to sleep with you. The only problem is that I am talking about women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. The other day I went to a dance club full of cougars and they were just looking at me. It made me feel good for a moment.

Sadly for me it is not easy to find a beautiful girlfriend in her late teens (18-19) or early 20s,

So, beautiful, age 18-22. If those are your only requirements, have you considered a mail order bride, maybe someone needing a green card? All she needs is a male citizen. Your brains and personality won't even be an issue, which would be fine given that all you have expressed an interest in is youth and beauty.

Seriously, though, DT, why are looks the only attribute you ever comment on? Are you really that shallow? What happened to your LDS girlfriend?