The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_canpakes]

Ok. I'm back from being outside and tending a garden.

Hey, Doc. Good to see you. : )

[_Dr. Shades]

DoubtingThomas:

DoctorCamNC4Me just gave some of the best advice I've ever heard. Heck, it's superb advice not just for you, but damn near everyone else as well.

There's nothing in his three posts above with which to disagree. Follow his advice and profit, or ignore it and watch everything in your life stay the same.

[_Lemmie]

DT has repeatedly implied he is in his 20’s. Others have speculated he is older and tried to read clues in his posts as “proof” of this, but I have never seen him imply he was older.

Are you saying this as a moderator? Or is this just your opinion as another poster?

[_EAllusion]

...

You attempted to leverage the fact that some studies show that there is a relationship between onset of sexual activity and measures of well-being to argue that your lack of sexual activity is putting you in serious jeopardy. You further tied this into a desire to have sex with young, attractive women by leveraging studies that show relationships tend to last longer when partners are attractive.

First, the causality in the first assertion is not necessarily what you are presenting as given. There are many ways for which we can imagine that people who end up having sex within a certain age might have traits that also make them more likely to have positive associations with personal well-being. For one, people who have sex younger just might be more socially adept which might itself be what promotes well-being. Being sexually attractive itself has a relationship with things that also predict personal well-being, such as employment success.

Second, and more importantly, it does not follow from the fact that there is a statistically significant difference between the distribution of well-being among people who had sex at age 17 and at age 25 that the former group is doing awesome and the the latter group is doomed to misery. These are overlapping distributions. Portraying yourself as in dire circumstances because you happen to belong to a demographic that does, on average, somewhat (slightly) worse than another demographic is irresponsible with the science and highly misleading. This is like finding out you have a gene that makes you 4% more likely to get prostate cancer, and responding by moping about how you are doomed.

Third, you are illicitly connecting a series of assertions without doing any legwork to a relationship between them much less the nature of that relationship. It does not automatically follow from the fact that people are more likely to stay with attractive partners (probably because they are more likely to be satisfied by having them) that the key to personal well-being is sleeping with hot teens. That's straight nonsense I'd expect to find on an incel message board.

[_EAllusion]

Are you saying this as a moderator? Or is this just your opinion as another poster?

It's my opinion as a poster. I'm not even sure how the comment could be construed as a moderator note.

[_EAllusion]

DoubtingThomas:

DoctorCamNC4Me just gave some of the best advice I've ever heard. Heck, it's superb advice not just for you, but damn near everyone else as well.

There's nothing in his three posts above with which to disagree. Follow his advice and profit, or ignore it and watch everything in your life stay the same.

His advice involved getting into Parkour.

DT - If you have good insurance, find a therapist that has an association with a respectable university. A CBT-based modality probably is what you need. You give off a heavy autism-spectrum vibe, and if that's what's going on, seek out a specialist who can help improve your ability to understand and navigate social communication.

[_Lemmie]

Are you saying this as a moderator? Or is this just your opinion as another poster?

It's my opinion as a poster. I'm not even sure how the comment could be construed as a moderator note.

Because you are a moderator, and because it has been unclear in the past as to whether you were posting as a moderator or posting as a poster.

But thank you for your clarification that you were posting your personal opinion.

[_Jersey Girl]

His advice involved getting into Parkour.

DT - If you have good insurance, find a therapist that has an association with a respectable university. A CBT-based modality probably is what you need. You give off a heavy autism-spectrum vibe, and if that's what's going on, seek out a specialist who can help improve your ability to understand and navigate social communication.

He said that he doesn't have insurance. He's stated previously that he's got an ADD diagnosis. Agree with the vibe comment.

[_Lemmie]

DT has repeatedly implied he is in his 20’s. Others have speculated he is older and tried to read clues in his posts as “proof” of this, but I have never seen him imply he was older.

I acknowledge that you have never seen it, but what you have missed is that DT has acknowledged here that he has posted under other names on other boards, and that under those other names he has acknowledged that he is in his 30s.

[_EAllusion]

Because you are a moderator, and because it has been unclear in the past as to whether you were posting as a moderator or posting as a poster.

But thank you for your clarification that you were posting your personal opinion.

I posted three facts. 1) DT has repeatedly implied he is in his mid-20's on this message board. 2) Posters here have speculated he's older, and have tried to read things into his posts here as proof of this. 3) I have not seen him state that he is older.

I'm not sure how these could possibly be seen as a moderator pronouncement or what that even would mean if it was. In my official capacity as moderator, I pronounce that I have not seen DT state that he is in his mid-30's. Let this pronouncement be written like fire on your heart.