The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_canpakes]

you blather a lot without touching the point at hand.

Said the fellow who started rambling on about Adam and Eve.

[_subgenius]

you blather a lot without touching the point at hand. DT and walking.
Nevertheless, and notwithstanding your sidestep from "cellulitis", people on the autism spectrum are currently forced to do what comes naturally...usually by therapists.

Oh? Please help educate me, a poor ignorant fool. What's going on, again?

as you say, you're an ignorant fool...maybe you just need one of those literal manuals you speak of upthread.

[_EAllusion]

as you say, you're an ignorant fool...maybe you just need one of those literal manuals you speak of upthread.

It’s true. As someone who has spent over a decade writing and overseeing the implementation of supports for people on the autism spectrum and supervising people who do the same, I’m awestruck by your insight.

I’ll consult one of those manuals I wrote.

[_Jersey Girl]

as you say, you're an ignorant fool...maybe you just need one of those literal manuals you speak of upthread.

It’s true. As someone who has spent over a decade writing and overseeing the implementation of supports for people on the autism spectrum and supervising people who do the same, I’m awestruck by your insight.

I’ll consult one of those manuals I wrote.

Pfffft! Quit your job, you're wasting your time! Just tell 'em to go out there and roll the dice. Screw insight, screw social cues, screw discerning the intentions, rights, and feelings of others.

Roll the dice, I say!

[Guest]

No. Not all folks with a mental disorder are dangerous. But if the tendency exists, then the stakes are higher for a woman's safety than for a man's, for a number of reasons.

When it comes to personal safety, it isn't always prudent to count on second chances.

Depression, autism, and anxiety are in the top ten relationship deal breakers.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-60117-001?doi=1

So you think women should stay away from guys with autism, anxiety, and depression?

[_DoubtingThomas]

I love that movie! It is very funny!

[_Dr. Shades]

I am sorry for my offensive comments, but I was just expressing my concerns.

I get that, but you're missing the point: SOME CONCERNS MUST NOT BE EXPRESSED. The specific concerns you expressed were pretty much textbook examples of the same.

It doesn't mean I will play games or use women like objects. I really want to date women, not for the sex only.

Great, but that really needs to be your default setting. You shouldn't come out of the gate with those, uh, other concerns.

I suspect many internet incels have a mental disorder. According to Dr. Todd Grande women have a really strong bias against men with mental disorders.

Can you blame them? Guess what: Men have a really strong bias against women with mental disorders, too, do they not?

So you think women should stay away from guys with autism, anxiety, and depression?

If at all possible. The less of that sort of thing she has to deal with, the happier she'll be, obviously. But guess what (again)? It works the other way around, too: Men should stay away from women with autism, anxiety, and depression if at all possible too, shouldn't they? But alas, the world isn't perfect. The reality is that those ailments are rampant enough that outright discounting such people of either sex as potential life partners will leave a person of either sex with a very narrow selection pool indeed.

Then GET OUT THERE AND MEET ACTUAL, LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS.

I am trying.

"Trying" is fantastic, of course, but the stakes are higher than you're imagining. So, it's probably time to bring out the big guns.

The following link is to a short video done in operatic style. It's a highly cautionary tale in which a young woman sings about the lover she forever lost due to his slow descent into an eventual psychotic break with reality. It's in Japanese, so you probably won't understand the lyrics, but the visuals and musical stylism make each of its points very clear.

In short, she and her lover were once happy together--shown in flashbacks--but then he starts indulging his fantasies of what would be perfect or ideal. His medium of choice is the Internet, commonly enough. At first this is depicted as harmless fun, but he soon starts preferring fantasy to reality itself, causing his real-life lover to suffer. Sure enough, he becomes addicted to the unreal, and although he makes a last-ditch effort to come to his senses--at his lover's behest--his (almost literal) demons succeed in destroying what remains of his sanity.

What does this have to do with you, you ask? Well, although your preferred "fantasy" medium may not be the Internet, you've repeatedly stated your unrealistic--and thus "fantastical"--expectations of relationships, women, what you "deserve," etc. Time is limited, and if you don't start striving for the realistic, you may find your ability to differentiate between them to be forever compromised.

That said, on to the video. As a warning, this video is NOT SAFE FOR WORK! This isn't hyperbole; you absolutely MUST NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, VIEW THIS FROM A WORK COMPUTER!

ME!ME!ME! TeddyLoid feat. daoko (HD) (60FPS)

[_Jersey Girl]

Shades your posts are too freaking long.

[_canpakes]

Depression, autism, and anxiety are in the top ten relationship deal breakers.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-60117-001?doi=1

So you think women should stay away from guys with autism, anxiety, and depression?

In two words: generally, yes. And as that answer implies, there are exceptions, depending upon the severity of the condition, and whether or not the woman considering this relationship has a few million dollars in the bank, a good head on her shoulders, and is well-versed in personal defensive weaponry and self-defense techniques.

Apologies for being blunt, but each of the conditions that you list can carry a toll of varying severity affecting the practical or romantic survivability of the relationship. As example: just as you've placed a premium on obtaining a woman unsullied by someone else's seed shooter, your potential romantic interest may be considering slightly different criteria - such as, finding a partner unsullied by excessive paranoia, or an inability to remain employed due to disorder, or a tendency to occasionally rage and rip screen doors off of hinges, or the need to pull as many people as possible down into a vortex of unrecoverable egotistical dysfunction, depression, eventual mental exhaustion and complete financial ruin.

That's not necessarily unreasonable, right?

It's certainly fair that a person is allowed to consider their own survivability within a relationship, and to not have to sacrifice themselves upon the alter of another whom is either unwilling or unable to stop themselves from self-destructing and taking with them as many folks who'd dare be close enough to become collateral damage.

[_Dr. Shades]

Shades your posts are too freaking long.

That's 'cause I'm able to type everything into a single post instead of needlessly breaking them down into four or five posts in a row.