The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_DoubtingThomas]

nd please take Lemmie's advice and only post your dating / relationship hang-ups in the specific thread that was created for it. DO NOT START A NEW THREAD. EVER.

I understand. But it doesn't matter because it is my last post on the topic.

DT, my wife and I have been married 25 years. We both had prior sexual relationships. But neither of us have ever asked the other how many prior partners. Neither of us have ever cared. Our relationship is ours. And my wife would be just as attractive to me regardless of the number of people she had sex with before me.

You are treating statistical averages as though they determine your destiny. You should know better than that.

I get it. Thanks. I will try not to care because a relationship doesn't have to be affected by your history. It is all in my head.

But just one thing. Do you have anything to say about "in Model 3 (Table 4), individuals who reported more lifetime sexual partners were significantly less likely to report being sexually satisfied" and STD risk? It is just a concern, I understand statistics can't determine my destiny. I will try to get over it.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25370356

I am sorry for using Mormon discussions as a frustration diary/talk therapy. I really have to stop it and get over it.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

> be me

> want qt 3.14 gf

> nonvirgins need not apply, this Neon Genesis Evangelion-san does ‘t want used goods

> show up for date, dressed in my best black outfit my mom got me for turning 19

> wear my best fedora, strapped katana to back (never know when the way of the sword is needed)

> meet qt 3.14 for bobotea

> she must be in awe of my inner qi, doesn’t talk much

> whatevr, i just talk for both of us

> i think I’ll take her as my waifu before she gets any ideas about college boys

> finish my tea, ask her if she wants to hang out and play Attack on Titan 2 and chill

> qt whispers something to manager

> manager asks me to leave, wtf?

> home now, just updated Facebook to taken, deleted tinder

[_Jersey Girl]

I am sorry for using Mormon discussions as a frustration diary/talk therapy. I really have to stop it and get over it.

If it's any consolation to you I don't think you're the only person frustrated these days. But you do have this thread to continue your topic as you see fit. I have a long running thread in Prison (that I haven't tended to lately) and I just go in there and say whatever I want. Actually, there's 2 that I have there. Sometimes people comment on those and other times I think if anyone looks in there they're just like "Oh it's Jersey again who cares". :rolleyes: They're probably boring threads but I like having them when I feel like posting on them.

[_Res Ipsa]

DT, your link is to an article behind a paywall. I don’t think anything about a graph from a paper I can’t read. The abstract doesn’t say anything about sexual history.

[_MsJack]

I'm 38 years old and have had two sexual partners my entire life.

But even when I was single after the divorce (ages 32-35) and that rare thirty-something who'd only had one sexual partner, I wouldn't have dated a guy who was fixated on this. It's not a healthy mindset to have.

[_canpakes]

[_moksha]

Sometimes you just need to forget about women and concentrate on your closet full of limited edition Pokemon figurines.

[_Lemmie]

. A book on the subject is Rapt by Winifred Gallagher. It turns out that you can control your emotions by controlling your behavior and your focus.

Here is a link to an excerpt:

https://www.earthandspiritcenter.org/wp ... d-Life.pdf

Thanks for the reference, Analytics, that is excellent. I am getting the book.

[_Lemmie]

But just one thing. Do you have anything to say about "in Model 3 (Table 4), individuals who reported more lifetime sexual partners were significantly less likely to report being sexually satisfied" and STD risk? It is just a concern, I understand statistics can't determine my destiny.

You picking out that sentence from wherever you vaguely quoted it tells me that you still think of women as things. Do you even read the links you post? Do you even read the titles? Here is the title of the link you posted right after your vague quote:

Individual and Partner Correlates of Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Happiness in Midlife Couples: Dyadic Analysis of the International Survey of Relationships.

Do you see the words “partner,” “correlates,” “couples,” “dyadic”, and “relationships”? In other words, this isn’t data to be used to individually assess and evaluate women as things. It’s creepy and offensive to use this meaningful research in such a crude and myopic manner.

This is from the abstract:

Even after controlling for individual-level effects, partners' reports of good health; frequent kissing, cuddling, and caressing; frequent recent sexual activity; attaching importance to one's own and one's partner's orgasm; better sexual functioning; and greater relationship happiness contributed significantly to predicting and understanding individuals' sexual satisfaction.

... Partner effects, even when controlling for individual effects, were consistently observed, and explanation of sexual satisfaction and relationship happiness always depended on identifying and understanding mutual and concurrent individual and partner influences.

Bolding added to emphasize the difference between what really influences sexual satisfaction and what you think influences sexual satisfaction.

And as usual, please stop talking about women as though they are things to acquire, or commodities with exchangeable sets of attributes you insist you “deserve.” It is offensive.

[_subgenius]

Researchers suggest that individuals who continually pursue new partners may be seeking not more sex, but more satisfying sex (Heiman et al., 2011).

Is 5 not a lot? More than 45% had 5 or more partners. Most young women that are satisfied stay with the same guy for years. What are the odds that I will please a woman that had 5 or more partners?

notwithstanding the Vegas line on you getting pleased or on her getting disappointed, but when it comes to "data" one should heavily season any sentence that begins with "researchers suggest".
That being said, there is a certain comedy brewing with you because you seem to earnestly believe in an arithmetic of the heart....and research suggests that love is.....