The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_ajax18]

1) Atheists tend to wait longer to be married and are married at lower rates, indicating that they're more selective about getting into marriage and thus less likely to enter into a bad one.

I honesty don't want to get married.

Perhaps atheists are less likely to get married? Breakups seem a lot more common than lifelong marriages. Unhappiness is a lot more common than happiness.

[_DoubtingThomas]

You guys be hatin' on DT and accusing him of being "creepy"

It was mostly just Lemmie, name calling is just a feminist strategy to put you down. Of course accusing me of being a "creep" is totally absurd, I am no Joe Biden or Donald Trump.

[_Lemmie]

You guys be hatin' on DT and accusing him of being "creepy"

It was mostly just Lemmie, name calling is just a feminist strategy to put you down. Of course accusing me of being a "creep" is totally absurd, I am no Joe Biden or Donald Trump.

Lol. You are VERY well known here for posting creepily about women. Why do you think the moderators collected all your creepiness into one thread and asked you to keep your creepiness there? (By the way, it would be good form to comply with that request. Each time you don’t, it just adds to your reputation as a creep.)

And speaking of name calling as a feminist strategy, were you just being a good feminist then when you called me a bitch recently?!!! Stop making sexist posts, and I’ll stop pointing it out.

[_Some Schmo]

If I were atheist there's no way I would have married or had children. I'd have played the field as a permiscuous heterosexual forever. I'm not sure why any man would do differently under such a belief system.

I feel sorry for your wife. Does she know your imaginary friend is the only thing keeping you from damned anything that moves? Good thing you irrationally believe nonsense, otherwise you'd be a terrible husband.

This is why god belief is irritating. People use it to justify the dumbest damned things.

Does religion make people dumb or are dumb people attracted to religion? It's a riddle.

[_Jersey Girl]

Do you have anything to add?

I think I have a couple of things to add but not about the Fisher/Heiman thing you quoted. I didn't intend to get involved much on your threads but my Shakespeare class stinks so there's that. ;-) For what it's worth, I don't think you're an older perv trolling this board with these related topics. I see EA has explained what he sees and I see the same thing. Having read your comments over time, I'd say it differently than EA has.

Not intending to embarrass you here. I mean that.

On one hand, your comments come off strange but I don't think it's because you are strangely perverted or anything like that. I think it's because you are a stranger to intimate relationships and so you rely on studies, graphs, articles, and data charts to guide you. I can't know if you've had an intimate relationship or two, but regardless, my guess is that for various reasons (not the least of which is your former religion and it's harsh condemnations--and the time it took for you to come out from it) you feel that time has passed you by in the experience department.

If I've got that right then naturally, time really has passed you by compared to the majority of your non-LDS peers and you just want what you think everyone else already has and I guess, trying to catch up. You're all over the studies trying to figure out how to make it "work" for you and you try to rely on science because science is one of the ways you anchor yourself in the world--which is mostly fine in most cases, but not for this.

The studies are not your helps, DT. They are your undoing and your obstacles. Relationships don't come because you study them, there's no "safe" way to predict a relationship or what parts of a relationship may be like, no matter how many studies, graphs, etc., you refer to.

Relationships only come by engaging in them.

I've been in the same relationship for a very long time. Not once have I ever participated in a survey or study. And, if someone asked me at 5 year intervals over the course of this relationship what makes it work, my answer would have been different every 5 years. I can't even tell you, looking back over time, what makes it work.

Because sometimes it does work and sometimes it doesn't because life and relationships are a series of adjustments that you make. Keep talking and texting with that girl. See where it goes. Engage in it.

Okay, so I'm blathering. Nothing new there.

[_ajax18]

Does religion make people dumb or are dumb people attracted to religion? It's a riddle.

A simple faith can take a dumb person much further toward success and happiness than a genius who who lacks it.

[_honorentheos]

For what it's worth, I read ajaxs comment in the context of what he has shared here over the years. At some point in his past he was disillusioned with the church. He complained about his wife, his family's debt load, his need to work all the time to keep his head above water, and basically painted a pretty miserable picture.

If belief gives him peace and access to a better quality of life, I suppose that's a good thing for him. If he projects that onto everyone, that's his mistake. But it would be an equally misinformed move to do the same back at him. My 2¢, anyway.

[_ajax18]

For what it's worth, I read ajaxs comment in the context of what he has shared here over the years. At some point in his past he was disillusioned with the church. He complained about his wife, his family's debt load, his need to work all the time to keep his head above water, and basically painted a pretty miserable picture.

Well I'm human. I think we've all gone through similar miserable pictures. Many of us have been subject to abuse on a personal and systemic level which we often complain about.

If belief gives him peace and access to a better quality of life, I suppose that's a good thing for him. If he projects that onto everyone, that's his mistake.

I've found many other people go through the same struggles. I've projected that they're human as well. It's not a mistake to help others find the strength to endure and overcome that comes through faith. If people want to closer their eyes and put their fingers in their ears that's their mistake. And yes, I've made the same mistake before.

But yeah, seeing the eternal perspective can make anyone happier now and in the future as well.

[_Lemmie]

On one hand, your comments come off strange but I don't think it's because you are strangely perverted or anything like that. I think it's because you are a stranger to intimate relationships and so you rely on studies, graphs, articles, and data charts to guide you

His comments come off sexist, jersey girl. This coddling of him that you do just encourages him to continue posting sexist remarks. It happens every time you give him this opening. You are facilitating his sexism.

[_honorentheos]

I've found many other people go through the same struggles. I've projected that they're human as well. It's not a mistake to help others find the strength to endure and overcome that comes through faith. If people want to closer their eyes and put their fingers in their ears that's their mistake. And yes, I've made the same mistake before.

But yeah, seeing the eternal perspective can make anyone happier now and in the future as well.

I think this helps illustrate my point, Ajax. You seem to be projecting your own experience with unbelief and belief onto others rather than attempting to really understand them. While religion may have saved YOUR family, it's destroyed families in other cases. Just as disbelief left you unmoored and adrift, for others it opens new horizons and a better life.

My comment was that your mistake of projecting your experience onto others should serve as example of what not to do when others are tempted to project their experience onto you. Your comments are understandable when framed in the context of your life experience. That included understanding you speak universally about subjective things. Anyway, I'm glad it helps you find peace and perspective that betters your quality of life.