The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_DoubtingThomas]

Those studies don't support what you are saying even if you accept the findings uncritically. You attempt to portray yourself as someone who relies on science for decision-making DT, but a little experience with your posting reveals that it's something near the exact opposite. You come to views for other reasons, then troll for papers you think support your views. You don't read them to learn; you read them to support predetermined conclusions. This is an inversion of scientific learning. And because you don't appear to be able to understand what you are reading, you consistently use bad citations.

You cannot even wield cringey evo-psych effectively because you overreach on the claims and don't understand how papers fit within them.

What am I saying? " Think of your children, you love them unconditionally don't you? Or does your love for them depend on their accomplishements, views, and personality? I am honestly not that picky."

[_EAllusion]

You edited your post several times DT.

In direct response to the comment that, "What is absent from most of your posting history is that you don't discuss a woman's admirable qualities like character, integrity, values, ethics, or her interests."

you wrote

"....I think men evolved differently. I don't think lonely men really care about a woman's views (unless they are extreme, but that would be a minority of women), accomplishments, or character (unless they easilly get mad). Men can pretend to care, but I don't think most really do. I know it sounds bad, but I think it is evolution. "

Even if you ignore the disanalogy from choosing to be in a relationship with a person from taking care of a child, I would expect you to care about your children's views, accomplishments, and character. You want to posture as though you're saying the heart wants what it wants, but you butcher that into something closer to tits or gtfo while entirely missing that the personalities and experiences of women do matter, in relationships and out, and it is not the case that men as a group think like you do or that you can explain such an assertion by invoking evolution like a magical totem. The Venn diagram between men who think like this and hardcore misogynists is a circle.

Studies on sexual attractiveness that attempt to find some statistical differences between men and women in attraction judgements (even if they tack on a just-so evo-psych assertion) don't begin to support what you said here.

[_EAllusion]

Also, saying, "I'm not a picky man. I'll even date a 6 and not care about who she is so long as she's young not too impure" doesn't make you the person you seem to think it does. Women who date you, in your current state, are getting a raw deal.

A woman contemplating dating you, then reading your posting history, would be like the Vertigo-zoom from Jaws.

[_Some Schmo]

I think DT should date guys. A lot of his problems seem to disappear that way.

As long as their anuses are still tight (ya know... pure and stuff), it should all be good.

[Guest]

I would expect you to care about your children's views, accomplishments, and character.

We completly agree. My point is that you would still love your children regarless of character, views, and accomplishments. A man can still like a woman regarless of her character (unless it is extreme), views, and accomplishments. Do you deny that?

I am not saying we shouldn't care about a woman as a person, of course you should care about a woman's views, character, and accomplishments especially if you are in a relatinship with her.

You edited your post several times DT.

Because that was badly worded. Can you forgive me for that?

Studies on sexual attractiveness that attempt to find some statistical differences between men and women in attraction judgements (even if they tack on a just-so evo-psych assertion) don't begin to support what you said here.

My point was that women care much more about personality to like you. "Personality had a much greater effect on women's perception of good looks than men. "It's quite remarkable how little women are influenced by physical looks. All men should pay attention to this. It's much more important to be a valuable social partner than worry about your physical looks," says Wilson."
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2004/a ... .evolution

For most women good looks don't matter if you don't have a good personality.

Statistical significance doesn't mean "a lot." It's colloquial equivalent is closer to "the observed difference has a fairly low probability of being due to random chance."

Yes, it also means more than 50%. Or low probability of less than 50%.

[Guest]

I think DT should date guys. A lot of his problems seem to disappear that way.

No way. If I am reincarnated as a woman I would become a lesbian.

You do realise that young women make more than young men. https://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/ ... tudy-finds . Women don't need a man to be succesful, but that was not the case 30 years ago. It was much easier for men to find a girlfriend. Now men have to be funny, charming, intelligent, attractive, and nice.

[_Some Schmo]

Women don't need a man to be succesful, but that was not the case 30 years ago. It was much easier for men to find a girlfriend when you were young. Being just nice doesn't get you a girlfriend anymore.

Yes, the dynamic between men and women is worlds different today then it was 30 years ago. It's like we've become a totally different species in just a couple generations. Amazing!

Well, it's either that or being a bit of a douche bag makes it harder to score. That hasn't really changed.

[_Jersey Girl]

This is where I'm at with these exchanges right now.

I would expect you to care about your children's views, accomplishments, and character.

We completly agree. My point is that you would still love your children regarless of character, views, and accomplishments. A man can still like a woman regarless of her character (unless it is extreme), views, and accomplishments. Do you deny that?

And...I need to take a break from this. Like now.

[_moksha]

I would date a conservative Trump supporter, it doesn't have to be the perfect match. It wouldn't be good for a relationship if there is no physical attraction.

Picture this: An 18-22-year-old with an angelic face and a devilishly hot bod. She wants you, but following the advice of Trump, she first needs to subject you to intense UV rays then give you an injection of disinfectant. Time to deIncelerate that daydream!!!

[_Gadianton]

....I think men evolved differently. I don't think lonely men really care about a woman's views (unless they are extreme, but that would be a minority of women), accomplishments, or character (unless they easilly get mad). Men can pretend to care, but I don't think most really do. I know it sounds bad, but I think it is evolution. "

he changed that? I saw it earlier and made a mental note to break my general "don't respond to DT about chicks" rule.

Since when, DT, does marriage derive from evolution? In the wild, do animal that mate based on physical instinct stay married for thirty years?

You're not a student of nature, you're a student of Disney movie plots, and you study with a reductivist eye. You notice that when guy spots girl that he thinks is *cute*, that's the single necessary condition to build the life-long romance on while all else is negotiable. And you're probably right. But that's not real life.

I fully believe that you believe getting a girl with the right look is all you need, and once you bag that, you're good to go. There's no way to put the experience in you before the journey, so I won't try, but I will ask that you remember me once you've found someone. It *will* matter to you down the road. The chances that your girl is going to make it the purpose of her life to put out for you are next to zero, but supposing she does, even then, it *will* still matter, because the other stuff will at some point become routine. But the greater odds are that in between your sparse episodes of getting busy, there's bills, possibly kids and hey, what if you have a kid with medical problems or something? Problems that fall upon you from extended family; I mean, there are so many problems that will head your way that you would trade getting laid for a solution to the least of them in a heartbeat. It will be shear hell for you if you don't have a connection in terms of character, accomplishments, views, likes and so on when you're dealing with all this other stuff as a matter of duty, biding your time until the next physical session. You can't comprehend that now, but you will one day. So just remember me, and let me know when you're going through hell so you can tell me you at least now know what it's like.