The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_Lemmie]

Women want someone that is funny, charming, attractive, and charismatic. Just being "nice" won't get you a girlfriend. Most women will never date someone making a lot less.

Will you STOP talking about women like they are interchangeable commodities? You know nothing about “most women.” Each woman is unique, as is each man. We are all individual human beings, not stereotypes, not two non-overlapping groups. Your pronouncements about women are insulting, petty, short-sighted, and yes, SEXIST.

So you want me to die? "The researchers found that singles have a 42% higher risk of cardiovascular disease,"

So, back for another round of nonsensical inappropriate interpretations of statistics. Several people put serious effort into explaining the proper and VERY limited way in which your statistical findings might actually be used to understand life choices, and yet here you are, back to the most ridiculous interpretation possible of this new statistic. This is why I think you are just trolling. It’s just not possible for you to make the very same error-riddled statements about stats after all the discussion that’s gone on. No one is that oblivious.

[_honorentheos]

Will you STOP talking about women like they are interchangeable commodities? You know nothing about “most women.” Each woman is unique, as is each man. We are all individual human beings, not stereotypes, not two non-overlapping groups. Your pronouncements about women are insulting, petty, short-sighted, and yes, SEXIST.

This.

[_Analytics]

WHO FREAKIN' CARES??

The fact that you're so hopelessly hung up on this is a major reason you're choosing to remain single instead of being out there in the world finding someone. What a woman does prior to meeting you simply doesn't matter.

You are right. I don't want to die.

"The researchers found that singles have a 42% higher risk of cardiovascular disease,"
https://www.businessinsider.com/married ... les-2018-8

According to that article, "80% of heart disease can be attributed to diet and lifestyle." So if you really don't want to die, is your diet based primarily on fresh vegetables and fruit, with a moderate amount of lean meat thrown in for good measure? Do you completely avoid processed food and sugar? Do you exercise every day? Do you meditate every day? Do you avoid fast food as assiduously as you avoid women? I could be wrong and please correct me if I am, but I somehow imagine you are the kind of guy who eats fast food for lunch almost every day and frozen pizza for dinner almost every night. Even if it isn't that bad, I seriously doubt you the kind of guy who has an annual physical and the doctor says, "Wow! You are clearly doing everything you can to stay healthy. Keep it up!"

So if you aren't taking care of the 80% that has to do with diet and lifestyle, why are you moaning about the 20% that has to do with marital status?

You totally misunderstand these statistics you throw around. Maybe they describe populations as a whole, but individuals live their unique circumstances. The following is 100% true. I have a neighbor who is short, fat, ugly, chronically unemployed, and if you want to know the truth, is a dick. And he had his first heart attack in his early 50's. And he is miserable. His wife is a tall, blonde, blue-eyed gastrointestinal surgeon. That one couple is an exception to just about every single statistic you've thrown out.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's unattractive.

[_EAllusion]

Genetics plays a significant role in cardiovascular disease risk. Without even clicking the link, if the assertion is that 80% of the variance is diet and lifestyle (seems way high?), then you don't get to attribute the rest to single-status. There's still unknown causes of the variance. Also, single-status is a lifestyle based cause and therefore would fall within that 80% number. Also, also 43% might seem like a lot, and in a certain context it is, but that's not 43% risk. It's the relative difference in risk which is a very different thing.

But yeah, you're totally right Analytics that if you're worried about cardiovascular disease, there are fatter targets your eyeballs should be on then.

Another thing I think is worth pointing out is that as we've built up impressive data-bases to troll for statistical associations with, if you dig deep enough, you can find mortality associated with a huge range of factors. Mortality is complex. That doesn't mean every single choice associated with them is "wishing death" or every choice is "literally killing people." That's an abuse of what the statistics are saying. If you offered DT some mozzarella sticks and he retorted with "so you want me to die then?" we'd recognize that quite quickly as an asshole thing to say, and it's no different here. It's worse here, in fact.

DT - You probably should be single in your current state if only because you come across as someone with horrible views on women with some strong overtones of ephebophilia. It's unfair to women to be in a relationship with you if that's the mentality you're gonna take. Happily, this need not be a permanent thing. As people have already said to you on this board dozens and dozens of times, you need to work on yourself.

[Guest]

with some strong overtones of ephebophilia.

"teleiophiles (from teleios, meaning, “full grown” in Greek), who prefer those 17 years of age or older)" https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/be ... ientation/. I did state "18-22 would be generally more attractive", but it is not always the case. I make it very clear I would be glad to date a 25 year old woman.

If I had said 17-22 that would still make me a teleiophile, and 17 is legal in my state, but I am only interested in 18 years or older. Please correct that and change it to teleiophilia.

But yeah, you're totally right Analytics that if you're worried about cardiovascular disease, there are fatter targets your eyeballs should be on then.

I do my excercise and I do eat healthy. Want me to send you a video in a PM? I don't drink or smoke. I do have a familiy history of heart disease and I don't think my single status is helping. There is a lot of evidence that feeling lonely could be more dangerous than smoking. I am all into defeating aging and I want to live to at least 100.

As people have already said to you on this board dozens and dozens of times, you need to work on yourself.

I am. Being single is very expensive and I have spent a lot of money on a course and Tinder. Stress can't be good for your health. "Being single may be an expensive proposition" https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/pe ... 663711001/

I am doing everything I can to improve myself and be a better and healthier person. I don't know what else you want me to do.
I do admit using the board as a punching bag when I am angry or sad.

[Guest]

.

[_Analytics]

A young bride had her wedding dress on and was making final preparations to walk down the aisle. She said, "Oh Mother! I'm so excited to finally be at the end of all my problems!"

The mother dryly replied, "Yes, but which end?"

[Guest]

Will you STOP talking about women like they are interchangeable commodities? You know nothing about “most women.” Each woman is unique, as is each man. We are all individual human beings, not stereotypes, not two non-overlapping groups. Your pronouncements about women are insulting, petty, short-sighted, and yes, SEXIST.

The theory of Evolution is not sexist, "Long term, men prefer youth and physical attractiveness while women prefer men who are somewhat older, intelligent, and ambitious. Men prefer women who are intelligent, too, but not as much.""
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships ... y-gender#2

To clarify I would be happy dating a 25-26 year old woman.

That's an abuse of what the statistics are saying.

"Even after taking major cardiovascular risk factors such as age, body fat, smoking, blood pressure, diabetes, and cholesterol into account, married men had a 46% lower rate of death than unmarried men."

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-hea ... ens-health

Do you still think I am misusing the statistics? It is predicted by Evolution. And don't want to die.

A young bride had her wedding dress on and was making final preparations to walk down the aisle. She said, "Oh Mother! I'm so excited to finally be at the end of all my problems!"

[Guest]

.

[_EAllusion]

There is a body of data suggesting some variance between men and women in what they say and/or act as though is attractive, but these are heavily overlapping distributions and not some fundamental difference between individual men and women. That's abuse of science #1. There is the field of evolutionary psychology that attempts to attribute these variances to sexual dimorphism driven by natural selection, but that field is notorious for being rife with dubious methodology and just-so conclusions. Not that it matters because you're not even trying to summon that field. You're just pointing to an observed difference, which you are already fundamentally misrepresenting, and saying, "evolution predicts this." No it doesn't. I have taken graduate level work in organic evolution and your take on what "evolution" says is too silly to even interact with. At least the evo-psych devotees put some effort into it.

That being unmarried is either itself a risk factor or related to risk factors that predict a higher cardiovascular disease incidence doesn't mean that any suggestion that you should be single - for instance because of your raging misogyny - that people are wishing death on you. It's a risk factor, not a death sentence. Emotionally abusive men shouldn't be in relationships either, but saying so isn't equivalent to saying they deserve capital punishment. That's deceptive. A more accurate way of putting it is that the increased risks associated with being single aren't seen as a reason to avoid advising you to be single. Life is full of risks and tradeoffs. Advising a person do something that has some risk associated with it is not ipso facto the equivalent to saying they deserve the risky outcome happening. Air pollution in cities is associated with increased mortality risk. Was Dr. Exiled saying you should die when he offered for you to come to Las Vegas? Of course not. This is just you misrepresenting research to try and score a rhetorical point, but doing it to people too well-educated for that point to land.