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Letterman's 'Top Ten Surprises in Al Gore's New Book'

From the May 22 Late Show with David Letterman, as read aloud on the show by former NBA star Charles Barkley, the "Top Ten Surprises in Al Gore's New Book." Late Show home page: www.cbs.com

10. Dedicated to his "soulmate" Lindsay Lohan

9. 52 chapters...to match his waist size

8. Chastises Bill Clinton for not sharing the hot intern action

7. After the 2000 election, shaved his head and checked into rehab

6. All proceeds go to Paris Hilton's legal defense fund

5. The threat that keeps him up at night? A massive Fritos shortage

4. In his opinion there's no species more endangered than the Yankees pitching staff

3. Besides the Internet, also claims to have invented Keno

2. If Blake loses "American Idol," plans to appeal to the Supreme Court

1. Brags that he has now written more books than President Bush has read

Ha, that's a great list. I liked the fritos one.


Top Ten Surprises In "Spider-Man 3"




10. Spider-Man must stop an angry, unemployed Rosie O'Donnell

9.Because of promotional tie-in, instead of webbing, shoots Mountain Dew

8.Spider-Man's secret identity is leaked by Dick Cheney

7.New black costume comes with matching pumps and handbag

6.Crime rises while Spider-Man is home enjoying Late Show Impressionist Week 2

5.Plot centers around the intense negotiations surrounding "Spider-Man 4"

4.Spider-Man passes out after forgetting to punch airhole in new mask

3.The professor can make a radio out of a coconut, but he can't build a raft to get them off the island

2.Well, the ending where Spidey dies was kind of surprising

1."Tingly spider sense" a result of an intimate encounter with Paris Hilton