So, last weekend, we gathered everything up, piled into my car, and drove up American Fork Canyon. We decided to leave at Midnight, in the hopes of seeing the sunrise at the peak.
Well, we get there, and suddenly realize we forgot flashlights. We fumbled around the parking lot for a bit, wandering around by the light of cellphones and MP3 players, until we come up on a small trail-head sign.
Now, last weekend was unusually dark -- the moon wasn't out, and it was rather cloudy. So we're all gathered around this sign-post, holding up our cell phones, trying desperately to read the sign. Eventually we make out the word "Timpooneke," and assume we're on the right trail.
The hike is quite difficult, much more so than I remember from my early scouting days -- but hey, I haven't been on this trail since I was 14, so who the hell knows?
Eventually we come to a split, and find another sign-post. None of us remember this fork in the trail, and we're quite unsure of which way to go. We struggle again to read the sign post by the light of our cell phones, but nothing we can make out sounds familiar. Finally, we decide to take the left fork. Before long, we come to a campground, and we realize we must have come the wrong way. By this time, the sun is already starting to rise, and we decide to try again next week, that time taking the RIGHT fork.
So, yesterday evening, midnight rolls around, and we pile everyone up into my car again. This time, we brought a headlamp, and power-bars. We felt well prepared. We went along the same trail, and came up upon the same split, this time taking the fork on the right. Strangly, we're heading rather steeply down-hill, and then quite suddenly, we're on a road! Now this just CAN'T be right!
We all sat down and tried to figure this out. Maybe the other way was right, and we just didn't go far enough? But what about the rivers? I definitely remember crossing rivers. Wasn't THAT the peak? No, I thought it was THAT one. Which way is north?
Well, we decided to head back to the parking lot and see if there was a map. We made it back rather quickly, and started wandering around the trail-head -- well, we went about 20 feet from the start of our original trail, when we suddenly came upon some much larger and easier-to-read signs, right next to the REAL timpooneke trail-head. Apparently, the orignal sign-post we were looking at pointed to a timpooneke camp-ground -- we were hiking in the exact opposite direction of where we wanted to go!
Well, now that we know which way to go, we start jogging up the correct trail. This trail is like a stroll through the park compared with what we had already done! We're making excellent time, and the trail is actually looking familiar. We were stomping along quite gleefully, telling all sorts of stories, when all of a sudden, I hear a strange noise. It sounds as if someone is shooting spitwads off into a field to our right. Mav flipped on the headlight, pointed it in the direction of the noise, and...
damned MOOSE!!
It starts moving in our direction, so we did what any real man would do in that situation. We picked up the girl, and ran really fast.
We ran down to the nearest corner on the trail, and decided to wait there for a few minutes, give the moose some time to go where ever it wanted to go. We sat there for about 15 minutes, and decided to try heading up again.
We spread out, about 15 feet between each of us, so that if we needed to book it, we wouldn't bash into each-other. We very cautiously inched our way up the trail, hooting and hollering as we went, in the hopes that the moose would hear us coming and drift away. We came up on the same field where we saw the moose the first time, and thankfully, it wasn't there. So, we calmed down, and continued our walk.
We got about 10 feet.
The moose was standing ON THE TRAIL. Once our light hit it, it snorted, and came at us again.
So, we ran back down the trail. About half-way back to the corner, I was struck with inspiration. "Hey guys, let's just climb the mountainside a bit, and let the moose walk past!"
It was 3 AM. I wasn't at my brightest.
And neither was my group, apparently. We all attempted to walk straight up the mountainside, right into the thickest bit of foliage we could find. We made it about 4 feet off the trail.
Imagine if you will, 3 fully grown and usually respectable adults, huddled up together in a tiny mud-cubicle, four feet off the trail in which a GIANT damned MOOSE is coming. Something struck me.
"Hey guys, I don't think this'll work."
So, we jumped back on the trail, and kept running.
We made it back to the corner, and waited again. By this point, we were feeling pretty antsy, and wanted to keep moving. We noticed that the corner we were sitting at had another trail branching off it, and we decided to explore while we waited for the moose. We got on the trail, and hiked a pretty good distance. We were just about to turn around and get back onto the main trail, when...
OH GOD DAMMIT damned MOOSE!!!
The moose had followed us onto this trail, and was catching up to us rather quickly.
We had no choice, it seemed. We kept going along the trail. It wasn't long before the trail took a sharp turn towards the mountain, and we were boulder-hopping up a very steep incline. Every so often, we would stop and listen, and each time we did, there it was, giant, brown, ugly, climbing up right after us.
We climbed the rock as far as we could, until we were pinned against a solid rock-face. We turned around, there, still a good distance, but closing in, was the moose, heading straight for us. We had two options: There was a cave to our right. Who the “F” knows what's living in there? And we had the thick foliage to our left.
We dived into the bushes. These were quite possibly the most painful bushes I could ever imagine. Thousands of spines and needles dug their way into our skin, as we swam through the trees. Footholds are few and far between, and we're often slipping deeper into these prickly plants. Cursing our luck, we finally broke through the bushes, into another rocky path. There's a small trickle of water running through the rocks, and we are completely surrounded by bushes on all sides.
We turn and look back to where we came from. From over the bushes, we can see the head of the moose. He doesn't look willing to follow us any more, it turns and heads back down the path.
With our options limited, we decide to head down the hill as far as we can, and try to meet up with the trail somewhere below us. As we start our treck down the mountain, we were lucky enough to see the light of other hikers below us. Two of my roommates were very slow and careful down the mountain, while Mav and I hurried along, hoping to catch those hikers before their light, our only beacon towards the original trail, moved on.
At one point, we saw the light take a sharp left. Fearing we'd lose it, Mav and I once again dive head-first into the wildlife. With no visible footholds, we clung to whatever vine or branch we could reach, and broke our way through as much of the dense thicket as possible, before the terrain and wildlife forced us back down to the same boulder-hill as before.
Our time seemed to be running out. The moose was still patrolling the trail that led us here, and our exploratory options were already pushed beyond their limits. So we yelled.
And yeah, it came to pass, there did shine a light upon us, like a beacon from the heavens. Or from a mag-lite.
The hikers we saw earlier had come around a bend, and had seen our light. It wasn't long before they were in earshot. We had them wait, and shine the light, so we could at least see which direction we were supposed to go.
The trail was located in quite possibly the hardest to reach place in the area. We had to climb straight up the mountain, using vines and bushes as if they were ladders. There was no way to brush the nature out of our face, so we just pushed on, the spikes and needles finding their way into every part of our battered bodies.
And suddenly, we were there. Two hikers pulled each of us off the mountainside, and onto the thin trail. We all sat down immediately, checked ourselves for ticks (none), and passed around the gatorade. Suddely the hilarity of the situation clicked in. We were chased by a damned MOOSE off the edge of the mountain! We broke down in laughter. Seeing that we were okay, the other two hikers continued up the mountain.
By this point, we were determined to get to the top. After going through something like we just did, nothing could hold us back now. Right? You'd think so.
We started heading up the mountain, and quickly realized how far down the trail we ended up. We probably re-hiked about half the distance we had already climbed. We were in good cheer, knowing that there was another group ahead of us, we felt we would be well-warned of any moosy dangers. We came upon the point where we first met the moose, and saw the light from the hikers ahead, and calmly walked forward.
We got about 10 feet.
damned moose.
