Lalalalala I'm SO BORED!!!

[_Sam Harris]

I have sat here for 8 hours today, and done all of nothing. The only work I did today was to print out three letters that I had to prepare for my boss yesterday.

I knew I should have left those letters to be prepared today.

The only excitement that's been available for today has been trying to keep my significant other out of my cubicle (he's behaving now...now to keep him behaving on email, they do monitor that, LOL), wringing my girlfriends' necks (they're so amused by my new romance...freaks), and a nice lunch and walk...the weather is pretty nice here today.

I wanna go home. One hour...

[_Moniker]

Are you home now?

Sorry you had a boring day! Perhaps you'll have an exciting evening. :)

So, you work with your boyfriend?

[_Sam Harris]

Happy Saturday

I had a lovely lunch yesterday, my beau got to read my Valentine's Day present to him. I write a lot, and I started a journal full of some old poems that I had written...with the insinuation that he should inspire me to write more. :-)

Well as far as how we got started, I'll just quote my myspace blog. And dammit, I'm gonna have to write another, because someone is ticked that I'm so happy...but how can you want to make someone just a friend with benefits, yet be so heartbroken when they find someone who actually wants to care for them and truly be with them?

I'm gonna have to rip someone a new one today, I see. *sigh*

Now, onto the blog:

For four months I all but hated him.

For four months I ran from him.

I convinced myself that he was terrible, awful, everything that was wrong with men. I imagined all the trouble that he'd gotten into with women, and I was so pissed that he was running after me at work. Every time I turned around and saw him hovering over my desk I would shudder. That first or second day I started here, when he looked at me, and told me that he "liked my type", I just figured that he was just another horny man out to use me.

I ignored my girlfriends when they told me that he was a good man, I told them that we had nothing in common, I went down the list of all the ways in which it just wouldn't work. They didn't say much...they would just let me vent. He wouldn't say much either, he'd just let me have my space, though some days he'd tell me I was in an awful mood...and I usually wasn't very nice to him. To be honest, I was terrified of him.

I've never had much luck with men. I've been used, rejected, propositioned...and loved only once. So in dealing with him, I figured that this would be simply more of the same. So I put up a wall and refused to let him in.

But little did I know, that when I was out sick, he was at my desk, wringing his hands, asking about me. Worrying about me. I was told this after the fact. I didn't really start thinking about it until recently. My heart was still hard.

But last Friday, something changed. I was on my way home from work, and I saw him on the Metro. Nothing really different in that really, I sometimes see him. I decided to say hi, as no matter how much I may have felt aggravated at him, I couldn't be too mean to him.

So I walked up, and made a little joke, ribbed him a little, and got off the train. I turned to say good bye...and the look on his face changed everything between us.

For the first time in so many years, a man looked at me with something other than lust in his eyes. I mean, he's looked at me this way before, but I refused to meet his eyes out of fear. This day I met his gaze, and I saw someone who was simply overjoyed to have seen me. And it put a crack in the wall I had built up against him. I went home that weekend and thought about it all weekend, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I came back to work on Monday, and I tested the waters. I asked him why he was interested in me. From there the interaction began, and I came to know the real man behind the monster I had created. And surprise...I fell in love. And he with me. And he's nothing like I imagined. Sure, there are obstacles...on both sides...but being with him, talking to him, getting to know him...and he me...we both feel like overcoming those obstacles is worth it.

Oh boy...

[_Moniker]

Happy Saturday

I had a lovely lunch yesterday, my beau got to read my Valentine's Day present to him. I write a lot, and I started a journal full of some old poems that I had written...with the insinuation that he should inspire me to write more. :-)

Well as far as how we got started, I'll just quote my myspace blog. And dammit, I'm gonna have to write another, because someone is ticked that I'm so happy...but how can you want to make someone just a friend with benefits, yet be so heartbroken when they find someone who actually wants to care for them and truly be with them?

I would assume it's because some men think of their conquests as their turf and don't like other males moving in on their turf.

For four months I all but hated him.

For four months I ran from him.

I convinced myself that he was terrible, awful, everything that was wrong with men. I imagined all the trouble that he'd gotten into with women, and I was so pissed that he was running after me at work. Every time I turned around and saw him hovering over my desk I would shudder. That first or second day I started here, when he looked at me, and told me that he "liked my type", I just figured that he was just another horny man out to use me.

I ignored my girlfriends when they told me that he was a good man, I told them that we had nothing in common, I went down the list of all the ways in which it just wouldn't work. They didn't say much...they would just let me vent. He wouldn't say much either, he'd just let me have my space, though some days he'd tell me I was in an awful mood...and I usually wasn't very nice to him. To be honest, I was terrified of him.

I've never had much luck with men. I've been used, rejected, propositioned...and loved only once. So in dealing with him, I figured that this would be simply more of the same. So I put up a wall and refused to let him in.

But little did I know, that when I was out sick, he was at my desk, wringing his hands, asking about me. Worrying about me. I was told this after the fact. I didn't really start thinking about it until recently. My heart was still hard.

But last Friday, something changed. I was on my way home from work, and I saw him on the Metro. Nothing really different in that really, I sometimes see him. I decided to say hi, as no matter how much I may have felt aggravated at him, I couldn't be too mean to him.

So I walked up, and made a little joke, ribbed him a little, and got off the train. I turned to say good bye...and the look on his face changed everything between us.

For the first time in so many years, a man looked at me with something other than lust in his eyes. I mean, he's looked at me this way before, but I refused to meet his eyes out of fear. This day I met his gaze, and I saw someone who was simply overjoyed to have seen me. And it put a crack in the wall I had built up against him. I went home that weekend and thought about it all weekend, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I came back to work on Monday, and I tested the waters. I asked him why he was interested in me. From there the interaction began, and I came to know the real man behind the monster I had created. And surprise...I fell in love. And he with me. And he's nothing like I imagined. Sure, there are obstacles...on both sides...but being with him, talking to him, getting to know him...and he me...we both feel like overcoming those obstacles is worth it.

Oh boy...

[/quote]

Wow!
"For the first time in so many years, a man looked at me with something other than lust in his eyes. I mean, he's looked at me this way before, but I refused to meet his eyes out of fear. This day I met his gaze, and I saw someone who was simply overjoyed to have seen me. And it put a crack in the wall I had built up against him. I went home that weekend and thought about it all weekend, I couldn't stop thinking about it."

Sounds nice, GIMR. So happy that you're happy. :)

[_Sam Harris]

Thanks, dear.

I swear I thought I'd never find this. Growing up in a broken home, not really learning how to have a healthy relationship, I was sure that I'd spend the rest of my life alone. And being sick these past few months, confined to this bed, it's been hell.

He told me last night that he sees himself spending the rest of his life with me. And I feel the same way. It's just amazing. I know our chemistry, we're both "ghetto" in some ways, we'll probably bicker, but this man fits me. And to think my co-workers knew, LOL.

Now if I could just keep him out of my cubicle. *laughs*

[_Moniker]

Falling in love feels good. Enjoy. :)