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http://www.isst-d.org/education/faq-dis ... htm#dissoc

Then I might tell people why I ask.

Hi, Pirate. :)

How do you want it broken down? I have some background with derealization (the world literally becomes foggy) and depersonalization (where I become detached).

I saw a boy shoot himself while staring in my eyes when I was 18 years old and I literally was walking around in a daze for a few months -- my inner whoever literally recoiled into itself -- that's the best I can describe it. The world was foggy and I did behavior that was out of the norm, for me during those few months. Then "I" popped back up.

When we experience trauma we do flight of fight responses -- or we freeze. Well, when we freeze we can become numb. It's a mechanism for survival.

When I was married to my husband he figuratively took both hands and shoved who I was deep down inside me with continuous thrusts. The blog, my posts on here over the last year, etc... was me slowly popping back up to the surface. When I was "waking up" I thought I was insane -- I felt like I didn't know who I was -- and that scared the hell out of me. I was so pleased when I found out I was NOT insane (whew!) and that it was normal. I was essentially waving my hands up above the water so someone would see me before I drowned. I did go into a fog and numb because the trauma of recognizing the abuse I'd suffered was overwhelming for me. So, I was foggy and then would burst into emotional energy and then pretty much retreat back into the numb -- I preferred the numb since I didn't have to feel.

I look in the mirror now and know precisely who I am. I never LITERALLY didn't recognize who I was. Yet, knowing "I" am here and who "I" am is the most marvelous thing in the world! I'm still swimming out of the ocean, but I know who it is that is headed toward shore.

I was quite susceptible to the CPTSD because of my earlier traumatic event and I had a really, really rough time months ago. I went into numb and auto-pilot. My behaviors were sporadic, my moods were all over the place, I did NOT sleep.

It was tough. I went and got help and the most reassuring thing I was told -- You're not crazy. You saw something that you're not responsible for. You're not responsible for others (I blamed myself for years -- afraid to hurt anyone). You were abused by one man and, yes, you were tricked -- and it's okay 'cause it happens.

So, what's going on with you? :)

Edited to add:

I wasn't diagnosed with this disorder since my symptoms only showed up after traumatic events and then went away. The farther I move away from my husband the better the CPTSD has gotten too. Also sleep deprivation can cause depersonalization and derealization-- so a lot of mine was insomnia related.

Okay, again, what's going on with you? :)

A couple of months ago I was asked if I am Bipolar. I have already been labeled sp? many crazy things. So I spoke with a psychiatrist. I am already refered to a psychologist, but in a queue. The psychiatrist told me I am not mad and I have no mental illnesses, I am not bi polar. He did suggest I was dissociated. The other day I was accused of another type of mental disorder and I got kinda upset and I tried to explain to someone that I don't have that. I then looked up dissociation as this was what was suggested. I found that site.

Well, don't diagnosis yourself. If I had done that I would have sent myself to the loony bin! :)

If anything it's a relief to talk to someone and find out what is up. In my case it was that I'd had a rough patch and I was going to be fine. Hallelujah!

Go see a person trained to deal with it, please?

I was diagnosed normal but dissociated by a psychiatrist.

Imapiratewasher wrote:I was diagnosed normal but dissociated by a psychiatrist.

And anyone would have disassociated given the circumstances. A normal response to abnormal circumstances. Don't ever forget that, pirate.

Jersey Girl wrote:

Imapiratewasher wrote:I was diagnosed normal but dissociated by a psychiatrist.

And anyone would have disassociated given the circumstances. A normal response to abnormal circumstances. Don't ever forget that, pirate.

I won't Jersey Girl, thanks. It is very hard though. I am becoming more calm though, which is cool.