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and I'd like a critique/constructive criticism/suggestion for a D&D campaign I'm drawing up (it's going to be my first campaign as a DM.

Here's the deal. I'm about to start a D&D campaign as the DM (my first experience in being a DM). I didn't want to use a pre-set campaign, preferring to create my own.

I'd appreciate it if you would give what I have a read over and provide me with any suggestions/constructive criticism that could make it better.

Without further ado, here is the general outline of the campaign and the first chapter.

Edited to add: Several other people have suggested that I make some backup plans/paths to get the party out of the prison should they refuse to take the Minion's offer in the prison. I'm working on a daring escape/rescue from the gallows. I'm also working on a couple of backup plans/paths to get the party working for the Patron in the event that they decide to not go with the Minion from the Tavern.

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Setting: Forgotten Realms.
Antagonists: Evil Magi/Magi Guild/Dark Knights/Assassins/Monster/Undead/Monk guilds/factions.
Goal of Big Bad: Coerce party into eliminating all other guild members so as to be able to use *Chalice of Life* to control entire world uncontested. Big Bad is PATRON.
Goal of Party: Follow PATRON's instructions until discover that PATRON is Big Bad. Defeat Big Bad.

Custom Rules: Health/Spells reset after leveling. Health/spells 100% reset after resting at inn. Health 50% reset if camped.

Synopsis: Party slated for execution for unjust causes. Broken out of prison on the eve of execution. Convinced by PATRON/BigBad to recover Chalice of Life from Dark Knights. Party fights through dungeon to reach excavation. Defeats Dark Knight goons. Dark Knight Dragon flees. Party retrieves Chalice of Life and returns to PATRON. PATRON explains how there are various factions in the area that are trying to take over. PATRON wants to have party remove the leadership so the various factions fall apart, thereby saving the populace from a thousand years of slavery. As the story progresses, the party finds themselves going into an area and defeating 2-5 Sub-Dragons before fighting Dragon for each faction. Final Dragon is Dark Knight. Discover that PATRON is Big Bad. Party has to fight through several dungeons to discover where Big Bad has relocated to then must fight through final dungeon to get to Big Bad.

General outline with encounters/Suggested dialogue:
The party finds themselves in a prison cell (2nd basement level), chained to the wall. A guard enters the cell with a simple meal of bread and water. Taunts characters with the fact that they are going to be executed in the morning for their assorted unjust crimes. Guard leaves.

A few hours later, party hears a scuffle in the corridor *thud*. Door opens. PATRON Character's minion enters cell. Offers to spring them from execution if they agree to meet with PATRON. *RUSH GUARDS ARE COMING*

If party agrees, quickly free them and drop a sack with some basic equipment based on class with promise to get them more/better at HQ.

*Can hear guards shouting for Alarm*

Minion says he'll buy them some time to get geared up and runs out of cell with a final admonishment to meet him at a local tavern *Razack's Shield* "If I'm not there before you, wait in the main hall."

Once party gears up, exit cell. Body of guard laying just outside the cell. Has throat slit and a black feather across his eyes. Guard has intricate tattoo on his chest if party searches body. Tattoo is emblem of the Dark Knights. All other cells on this block are empty.

If party explores the lower 2 levels of the dungeon, populate with parties of 3 guards every 250-300 feet or so with number of guards increasing each encounter (want the party to leave quickly). If party heads outside, have 4-6 encounters with guards as they leave. Depending on party status, level up at reaching courtyard or level up after the boss (preferably boss)Once party reaches courtyard Boss encounter: 5-6 goons, 2 leftenants, 1 boss. *LEVEL UP/RESET HEALTH*

Allow for limited exploration of town. Guards are every few blocks at well-lit crossroads, but there are back alleys that can be used to traverse the town. There are several shops throughout the town, but everything is closed down for the night. Add a couple of shady characters to act as information brokers, fences, beggar/thieves.

On reaching the tavern, there is no sign of the Minion. Let them do some random whatever before Minion staggers in, bleeding from a shoulder wound. He gestures to the party to join him and heads into the back room of the tavern.

Exposition/questions time! Minion explains that he is an assassin-guard for a local man who is a Magi Guild leader in public and the leader of a covert guild of assassins trying to keep the realm from falling into a 6-way civil war. Explains that the garrison commander of the prison will never let it be known that [party size] escaped from the prison and will publicize that they were successfully executed. The PATRON orchestrated the arrest on trumped-up charges so as to have a group of dead "to the world" adventurers to help him prevent this war. Minion is authorized to arrange meeting with PATRON if party agrees. Excuse Minion from the room (for medical attention) and let party know that he'll be back in the morning to receive their answer. Let party know that there are rooms already set up/paid for in the Tavern for them and they will be safe. Allow for discussion amongst party.

and I'd like a critique/constructive criticism/suggestion for a D&D campaign I'm drawing up (it's going to be my first campaign as a DM.

Wow! Considering that most of this stuff is now on computer games, it's amazing to see anyone willing to take up the time to do a real campaign.

I really enjoyed "Temple of Elemental Evil" from the World of Greyhawk. Good luck finding a copy now and I certainly won't give up mine. But if you could read one, there are many good ideas for tricks, traps, puzzles, and some pretty interesting monsters.

The rules have changed and expanded much since I played.

Interesting premise, Bryan. Good job.

I haven't DM'ed a D&D campaign for well over 20 years, so perhaps any advice I give is hopelessly dated, but here are four suggestions:

1. After the characters meet PATRON, have some sort of backup answer in case one of the characters asks, "What do you need us for? If you're such a powerful guildmaster, why don't you go and remove the other guild leaders yourself?" or, "You're the master of an entire guild, whereas we're only a few adventurers. Don't you have more than enough followers to do this yourself?" Possible answers from PATRON could be, "The Dark Knights have placed magical wards around the Chalice of Life that detect the presence of any sigil belonging to a different guild member. Since we all have the sigil tattooed on our bodies, none of us can touch it; that's why we need an outsider" or something like that.
2. Don't allow PATRON to reveal why the players were falsely accused until players discover that PATRON is actually Big Bad. Otherwise, players might say, "You almost cost us our necks! Why on earth should we help you?" Plus, it might be more climactic if players find out the hard way that PATRON was the instigator behind the entire imprisonment.
3. I don't really think you need a backup if players refuse to cooperate with the Minion. If they don't, simply allow them to go to the gallows. As they are hanging, just as they're about to black out, have them snap back to full consciousness back inside their cells at nighttime. Have the Minion break in again, but this time, have him say, "PATRON was in the crowd observing the executions. He cast a powerful time jump spell to put us all back twelve hours earlier. He doesn't dare cast the spell again for fear of attracting the attention of powerful demigods from other planes, so this is your last chance.
4. If the players refuse to meet with the Minion after breaking out of prison, allow them to wander aimlessley through the town for a few days. After this, have another guild member bump into them and say, "The Minion died before he could reach you. I'm here to escort you to the PATRON himself. I'm glad I found you before the city authorities did."

What version of D&D will you be playing?

Dr. Shades wrote:

1. After the characters meet PATRON, have some sort of backup answer in case one of the characters asks, "What do you need us for? If you're such a powerful guildmaster, why don't you go and remove the other guild leaders yourself?" or, "You're the master of an entire guild, whereas we're only a few adventurers. Don't you have more than enough followers to do this yourself?" Possible answers from PATRON could be, "The Dark Knights have placed magical wards around the Chalice of Life that detect the presence of any sigil belonging to a different guild member. Since we all have the sigil tattooed on our bodies, none of us can touch it; that's why we need an outsider" or something like that.

The way I was thinking was because while he is the very public leader of the Magi Guild, he can't risk said public face and still be in a position to help avert this civil war. And the shadowy assassin's guild is something that he just started to help him in the upcoming adventure, but it is still rather small.

Dr. Shades wrote:

Don't allow PATRON to reveal why the players were falsely accused until players discover that PATRON is actually Big Bad. Otherwise, players might say, "You almost cost us our necks! Why on earth should we help you?" Plus, it might be more climactic if players find out the hard way that PATRON was the instigator behind the entire imprisonment.

That's something that several people have suggested, I think I'll re-work it a little bit.

Dr. Shades wrote:

I don't really think you need a backup if players refuse to cooperate with the Minion. If they don't, simply allow them to go to the gallows. As they are hanging, just as they're about to black out, have them snap back to full consciousness back inside their cells at nighttime. Have the Minion break in again, but this time, have him say, "PATRON was in the crowd observing the executions. He cast a powerful time jump spell to put us all back twelve hours earlier. He doesn't dare cast the spell again for fear of attracting the attention of powerful demigods from other planes, so this is your last chance.

Oooh. I like that.

Dr. Shades wrote:

If the players refuse to meet with the Minion after breaking out of prison, allow them to wander aimlessley through the town for a few days. After this, have another guild member bump into them and say, "The Minion died before he could reach you. I'm here to escort you to the PATRON himself. I'm glad I found you before the city authorities did."

Yeah, that's going to basically be the general gist of what I was thinking. I'm also thinking about having several interactions where someone will offer to set up a meeting with "the leader of a guild" for a fee. Make it sounds like each faction is trying to recruit them, but all paths lead to the Patron.

Dr. Shades wrote:What version of D&D will you be playing?

3.5 is what I'm most familiar with. We kind of use a blend of 2, 3, 3.5 and probably going to add in some 4.

I just stabbed myself in the eye with my car key because my browser was backing out of this thread fast enough.