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I wonder if there are people here whose parents lived in the Great Depression and who passed certain subliminal messages on to their children--us. I'm trying to sort out which of those messages were useful and which were not.

I paid only casual attention to the influence of subliminal messages transmitted generationally to children of children of the Great Depression until a few weeks ago when something seemingly insignificant happened and I realized I was engaging in weird thinking. I decided if KA can post about dirt thumb suckers, I'd go ahead and do this. (insert pretend smilie)

I bought a new set of cookware. My 35 year old set of stainless steel Farberware had seen better days and I really wanted to update my kitchen. So, I got a deal (a deal and a half!) at Kohl's on a brand new set of non-stick fabulously red cookware-- Farberware again! (insert pretend smilie applause). The set is contemporary and beautiful.

I unpacked them bit by bit and reveled in the fact that they shine and all the handles and knobs were intact, which should give you some idea of what shape the old set was in after 35 years of churning out meals on a daily basis. And they're RED!

I cleaned out the cupboard of old mis-matched things (corning ware and such as that) and threw it all away. Except for the old Farberware. I procrastinated about it for days until a family member lit the fire under me and I gathered up the old cookware and put them on the counter under the guise of getting them ready for the trash. Said family member noticed that I hadn't put them in the trash and started to pick them up to do it for me-- and I stopped them. "No, don't" "Why?" "I don't know" "You need to throw them out." "I can't do it". "Why?" "I don't know, I just can't" "You'll be happy to have everything organized" "I know, but it's hard for me" "Why? Cause you were poor?" "That and I remember when I got them and how grateful I was that someone gave me something new and they can still be used". "But you have new one's now" "I can't do it. You do it." So said family member said they would do it and took them away.

Here comes the weirdness. When they took up a stack of cookware for the trash, I realized how anxious I was. I actually had to take a deep breath while they did it. And more deep breaths. And I had to wonder why I was freaking out about a heap of pots and pans.

Same thing earlier today. I had bought a new set of dishes. Nothing exceptional, just new every day dishes. I got round to throwing out the old mis-matched set and I had to have the family member do it for me. They actually took the mismatched dishes and smashed them all in the trash "so you don't come back for them."

They know me.

"I would go back for them." "I know, it's because you were poor". "No, it's not because I was poor, it's because I was raised by a parent who lived through the Great Depression and THEY were far more poor than I ever was, and they taught me not to throw away things that could be used."

While the dishes were being smashed, I took several deep breaths again. I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until I couldn't not breathe any more and took another breath. True anxiety over throwing away something that could still be used.

At least I made some progress via inner reflection and realized that the resistance to throwing away certain "stuff" wasn't necessarily because I was poor but because I'd probably received verbal and non-verbal messages throughout my childhood that grew out of the childhood of one who lived through the Great Depression and really didn't always know where their next meal was coming from.

Things like that.

Do any of you have those messages in your head? Are you aware that you do? Which messages are useful?

It's not easy to come to the realization that you're acting on subliminal messages. And even then, it's not easy to resist acting on them.

(Please don't bring up the issue of thrift stores. I do take things to thrift stores but I wouldn't have taken the pots/pans or the dishes. I would have faked it by putting them in my car, riding around with them and procrastinating on taking them to the thrift store. More resistance and why? Because they were mine and they were still useful. Omg...thanks alot for the messages!)
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Mom? Is that you?

Jersey Girl, my granny was raised during the depression and her frugality rubbed off on my mom in a big way. "Fix it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." (Is that how it goes?)

Mom's frugality wore off on me, though I've grown out of it just a bit. Not a lot, though. I still save buttons. Yeah. Cut them right off shirts and put them in a jar. I've saved blouses and skirts just for the fabric and made costumes from them and I even imagine myself making quilts from fabric scraps I've saved, though I don't know when I'll have the time for such a pursuit.

I cook from scratch and can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would spend the money on pancake mix or cornbread mix when it's so easy and cheap to make with basic ingredients that should be in every woman's pantry.

I keep fixing the same old car. I repair clothes when practical.

I just bought a $350.00 purse. (I told you I was growing out of my frugality a bit! )

Frugal isn't a bad thing to be.

KA

KimberlyAnn wrote:Mom? Is that you?

Hi hon, I knew you'd recognize me. That's my girl!

Jersey Girl, my granny was raised during the depression and her frugality rubbed off on my mom in a big way. "Fix it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." (Is that how it goes?)

That phrase was in the back of my mind when I made my post.

Mom's frugality wore off on me, though I've grown out of it just a bit. Not a lot, though. I still save buttons. Yeah. Cut them right off shirts and put them in a jar. I've saved blouses and skirts just for the fabric and made costumes from them and I even imagine myself making quilts from fabric scraps I've saved, though I don't know when I'll have the time for such a pursuit.

And that's just the thing. I save buttons and I never use them.

And that's the head game I'm working against. Why save them if you don't use them? Why keep the old cookware when you just bought new cookware because the old cookware was essentially in pieces? Why save pieces when you replaced them?

I do take old clothing to thrift stores or like you, save some of the old skirts to make stuff out of for my work and I do make the stuff. I have a friend who washes out her ziploc bags and reuses them. I don't do that. I'm not that into reuse, but I'm still working on purging as a life skill.

I'm telling you, if the dishes didn't get smashed, I would have snuck out to the trash and retrieved them. I kept looking at them thinking about other uses. You could put them under houseplants or used some of them for incidental serving. They were nice Corelle stoneware. But no one used them. They were too heavy and some of them had broken. The black outside always looked "spotty" from the dishwasher. Thanks to my accomplice, they're now smashed to bits.

I cook from scratch and can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would spend the money on pancake mix or cornbread mix when it's so easy and cheap to make with basic ingredients that should be in every woman's pantry.

I know. When I was a SAHM, the closest I came to prepared foods was canned tomato sauce. I even made my own pizza crust for homemade pizza, pancake mix, waffles, cookies, you name it. I did it all from scratch.

I keep fixing the same old car. I repair clothes when practical.

I just bought a $350.00 purse. (I told you I was growing out of my frugality a bit! )

Frugal isn't a bad thing to be.

KA

You know, I look at Coach purses and I can't make myself do it. I'm going to reflect on any extravagances I might have and report back. I don't think I have any.

To do list:

Purging as a life skill
Improve self-honesty

delete

Jack Benny is my Hero.

Also, I loved shopping at thrift stores for old treasures. I used to find old Ataris and video games and all for dirt cheap!

When in season, I enjoy picking berries (lots of blackberries here).

Incidently, my mother always told me that I was too frugal. Maybe she's right.

As for collecting old stuff, well I still haven't thrown out my old Pentium 2 laptop. I keep telling myself I can use it for parts in some small project which would be awesome except I never seem to get around to it.

asbestosman wrote:Jack Benny is my Hero.

Now cut that out!

Also, I loved shopping at thrift stores for old treasures. I used to find old Ataris and video games and all for dirt cheap!

Sadly, you could find those in my basement. Space Invaders, anyone?

When in season, I enjoy picking berries (lots of blackberries here).

Incidently, my mother always told me that I was too frugal. Maybe she's right.

As for collecting old stuff, well I still haven't thrown out my old Pentium 2 laptop.

I keep telling myself I can use it for parts in some small project which would be awesome except I never seem to get around to it.

All the signs are there. You are doooooooomed, abman.