As a child I never got the crap beat out of me and neither did my children. I did get one spanking.
For swearing.
Not sure where I got the word "bastards" from.
Dad.
As a child I never got the crap beat out of me and neither did my children. I did get one spanking.
It isn't a response to anyone here, but it is a constant meme I've seen on social media over the years. The way the older generation mocks and belittles the younger generation as being irresponsible, lazy, participation trophy recipients, etc. I've seen more than a few memes talking about how whipping is no longer acceptable and that we should bring it back. And it is true. If you smack the crap out of your kid in public you're likely going to get arrested.huckelberry wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 9:30 pmveritas, I am puzzled as to where this odd thought came from or to what it was intended to reply to. I am a boomer ,was not beat as a child and have not done such. I actually do not know of anybody I grew up with who was beat and did the same. I realize that does not mean that there are no people that the picture fits but I find it a strange generalization.
Veritas, thank you for the explanation of what you were thinking about. I was not particularly aware of a movement in the direction you mention. I realize that in the 50s or 60s there was a variety of attitudes about corporal punishment in society.Vēritās wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 3:11 amWorth a read
Mindful Parenting Versus Parenting in the “Good Ole Days”
Well, to the extent it does work, it instils respect along the lines of the 'respect' accorded to a mafia boss who will have you dealt with if you don't give him what he wants and smile while you do it. Habitual violence to children teaches them that violence to those weaker than yourself is acceptable and a normal way of dealing with conflict.huckelberry wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 4:45 pmI do not buy the idea that corporal punishment instills respect for others.
Chap, I think you have accurate observations here. They fit why I wonder if corporal punishment lies behind people eager to support Trump, he may fit their parental ideal which creates respect without judgement. I suppose I have no actual statistical support for the idea so it might be long on prejudice and assumption. I found that black shirt message offensive and responded with a gut reaction.Chap wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 8:40 pmWell, to the extent it does work, it instils respect along the lines of the 'respect' accorded to a mafia boss who will have you dealt with if you don't give him what he wants and smile while you do it. Habitual violence to children teaches them that violence to those weaker than yourself is acceptable and a normal way of dealing with conflict.huckelberry wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 4:45 pmI do not buy the idea that corporal punishment instills respect for others.
And what is more, there are more effective ways of making your children behave decently, like spending a lot of time with them, sharing meals with them, and talking with them like they mattered. It takes up time you could spend watching TV, but it's actually very enjoyable once you get yourselves and them into the habit. If you don't like doing that kind of thing, why have kids?
Reading this cut me like a knife.Vēritās wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 2:57 am
My Mom used to justify her use of corporal punishment by saying that's how she was raised. My Dad never did though. It was always our Mom. I remember the first time I saw my own blood was at an airport bathroom somewhere in Germany. I must've been about 6 or 7. I don't know what I did wrong, I just remember getting slapped so hard across the face my nose started bleeding and I was watching it happen in the mirror with dizzy eyes.
Sorry, that wasn't my intention. This was a long time ago and I've gotten over it. It wasn't the first or even the worst case of physical abuse I experienced growing up. But as bad as the physical abuse was, I would have to say the emotional abuse was the hardest part about growing up that way. Other friends and family I knew got it just as bad or maybe even worse than I did. I just thought it was a normal part of growing up and didn't see any sign of it being abnormal until we left Alabama and moved to Atlanta in 1987. I was 16 at the time and that was when I encountered the Mormon family across the street. I think the lack of physical violence in their household was one of the things that attracted me to them.Jersey Girl wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 10:18 pmReading this cut me like a knife.Vēritās wrote: ↑Sun Aug 28, 2022 2:57 am
My Mom used to justify her use of corporal punishment by saying that's how she was raised. My Dad never did though. It was always our Mom. I remember the first time I saw my own blood was at an airport bathroom somewhere in Germany. I must've been about 6 or 7. I don't know what I did wrong, I just remember getting slapped so hard across the face my nose started bleeding and I was watching it happen in the mirror with dizzy eyes.
You deserved none of it. I'm happy that observing the Mormon family gave you a view into another way of living and parenting.Vēritās wrote: ↑Mon Aug 29, 2022 2:58 amSorry, that wasn't my intention. This was a long time ago and I've gotten over it. It wasn't the first or even the worst case of physical abuse I experienced growing up. But as bad as the physical abuse was, I would have to say the emotional abuse was the hardest part about growing up that way. Other friends and family I knew got it just as bad or maybe even worse than I did. I just thought it was a normal part of growing up and didn't see any sign of it being abnormal until we left Alabama and moved to Atlanta in 1987. I was 16 at the time and that was when I encountered the Mormon family across the street. I think the lack of physical violence in their household was one of the things that attracted me to them.
Just so you don’t feel like the odd duck out, I was raised in similar circumstances by Silent Gen types; my father being raised by people that by today’s standards would be in jail. With hindsight and wisdom I realize they were just people trying the best they could, being handed a very difficult hand of cards themselves, and as such I try to be forgiving. However, that crap sticks and it’s definitely a process to come to terms with it.Vēritās wrote: ↑Mon Aug 29, 2022 2:58 amSorry, that wasn't my intention. This was a long time ago and I've gotten over it. It wasn't the first or even the worst case of physical abuse I experienced growing up. But as bad as the physical abuse was, I would have to say the emotional abuse was the hardest part about growing up that way. Other friends and family I knew got it just as bad or maybe even worse than I did. I just thought it was a normal part of growing up and didn't see any sign of it being abnormal until we left Alabama and moved to Atlanta in 1987. I was 16 at the time and that was when I encountered the Mormon family across the street. I think the lack of physical violence in their household was one of the things that attracted me to them.