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Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 3:01 pm
by Some Schmo
My dad regularly hit us, and the overall feeling I had for him growing up was terror. Weirdly, however, I don't really remember the spankings (I probably went away for them). I remember he once punched me in the shoulder so hard my arm went numb. Another of his favorite punishments was to knock our heads with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a door. Extremely painful.
I do remember that there seemed to be an inverse relationship between how bad a thing I'd done and how severe the punishment was. He would freak out over minor infractions and be eerily calm when I'd done something serious. He was capricious and unpredictable. We kids would get spanked if we made enough noise to wake him up in the morning, for instance. I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, but there's no doubt his brand of discipline left an indelible mark.
Being physically abused never taught me to respect people; quite the opposite. I respect people who resist violence. Fear and respect are two completely different things.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 11:02 pm
by Vēritās
huckelberry wrote: ↑Tue Aug 30, 2022 9:56 pm
Vēritās wrote: ↑Mon Aug 29, 2022 9:46 pm
The only thing I have from my Dad are the same aqua/greenish eyes.
Veritas, I hope I can say this without offense. I respect the way you are making good of the difficult elements of your upbringing. I get the impression you learned to stand up for yourself. Perhaps that was internal at first but I it appears you made it into a positive in your life.think You are an feisty poster who can make a vigorous attack. I find I have long respected your focus on learning and understanding.I remain believing you fight to get closer to the truth, to get a clearer grasp of things not just a fight for the sake of winning.
Thanks, though I don't really consider myself much of a "fighter" anymore. Most of that was during my years as an apologist and then counter-apologist.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 11:04 pm
by Vēritās
Some Schmo wrote: ↑Mon Sep 05, 2022 3:01 pm
My dad regularly hit us, and the overall feeling I had for him growing up was terror. Weirdly, however, I don't really remember the spankings (I probably went away for them). I remember he once punched me in the shoulder so hard my arm went numb. Another of his favorite punishments was to knock our heads with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a door. Extremely painful.
I do remember that there seemed to be an inverse relationship between how bad a thing I'd done and how severe the punishment was. He would freak out over minor infractions and be eerily calm when I'd done something serious. He was capricious and unpredictable. We kids would get spanked if we made enough noise to wake him up in the morning, for instance. I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, but there's no doubt his brand of discipline left an indelible mark.
Being physically abused never taught me to respect people; quite the opposite. I respect people who resist violence. Fear and respect are two completely different things.
Well said.
Neither of my Dads hit me growing up. I can't imagine what that would have been like.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2022 6:42 pm
by Vēritās
Saw this posted today on Facebook:
- 305670400_1165524220975519_8015085702779976104_n.jpg (132.37 KiB) Viewed 496 times
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2022 6:57 pm
by Some Schmo
Vēritās wrote: ↑Wed Sep 07, 2022 6:42 pm
Saw this posted today on Facebook:
305670400_1165524220975519_8015085702779976104_n.jpg
I'm not sure if that's supposed to be serious or funny, but it doesn't work either way. Anybody who's been regularly spanked knows it is complete BS. I didn't really learn to respect people until long after leaving home and quitting church.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:11 pm
by doubtingthomas
Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Mon Aug 22, 2022 2:32 pm
For those who don’t want to click on the link because DT didn’t give any indication to its contents, it’s a NBC video about lonely young men who want young women and feel isolated because they’re not in a relationship getting sex.
- Doc
Women are reacting to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRDRj9fji74
Morley wrote: ↑Mon Aug 22, 2022 7:28 pm
Jesus. Thank you for saving me from that, Doc.
See what women think.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:34 pm
by Morley
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:11 pm
Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Mon Aug 22, 2022 2:32 pm
For those who don’t want to click on the link because DT didn’t give any indication to its contents, it’s a NBC video about lonely young men who want young women and feel isolated because they’re not in a relationship getting sex.
- Doc
Women are reacting to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRDRj9fji74
Morley wrote: ↑Mon Aug 22, 2022 7:28 pm
Jesus. Thank you for saving me from that, Doc.
See what women think.
Thomas, out of courtesy to you, I watched it. I made it through a Cortney, two Ashleys, a Stella, and one lady (Mansi?) who said guys don’t date because they have porn—then I couldn’t take anymore. Not my cup of tea. I will never get those brain cells back.
Why do you want folks to watch this stuff? Why am I supposed to care? Most of all, what does this have to do with Gen X parenting?
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 6:21 am
by Dr. Shades
Some Schmo wrote: ↑Mon Sep 05, 2022 3:01 pm
I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, . . .
In my mind, that makes it
less easy to forgive him. By treating you the same way he was treated, he was voting in favor of the way he was treated.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 9:00 am
by Moksha
My own parents were part of the Greatest Generation. One item about their parenting skills was how much better behaved their children were in school.
Re: Generation X's Method of Parenting
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 2:06 pm
by Some Schmo
Dr. Shades wrote: ↑Fri Oct 07, 2022 6:21 am
Some Schmo wrote: ↑Mon Sep 05, 2022 3:01 pm
I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, . . .
In my mind, that makes it
less easy to forgive him. By treating you the same way he was treated, he was voting in favor of the way he was treated.
Well, he didn't treat me the same way. The abuse he got was much more severe. He gave us kids a toned down version of what he experienced.