doubtingthomas’s topics MEGATHREAD

[Imwashingmypirate]

I thought that women were generally attracted to older men. Maturer men. Old childlike men not so much. I feel like I'm in an alternate universe in this thread.

Unfortunately, there are campaigns trying to persuade young women to avoid older men, and they seem to be effective. Many people on the left are attempting to intervene in our dating lives.

"Men Who Date Much Younger Women ... Look Like Pedophiles"
https://medium.com/heart-affairs/dear-m ... 1a59336fdc

"Leonardo DiCaprio is nearly 50 and dating teenage girls. I’m sorry, but a 50 year old man that dates teenagers is a predator. Being a celebrity doesn’t exempt him from being a creep."
https://Twitter.com/SamanthaTaghoy/stat ... 84?lang=en

Well, I wouldn't visualise a 50 year old with a teenager. I think certainly below 18 should be illegal. It completely depends on the younger person's mental state but I can guarantee most older teens are too immature for adult life. They want to be out and living free to a degree. Do you really want to date someone who is partying? Who hasn't made a bunch of mistakes yet? Who hasn't found the path they want to take?

Celebrities dating celebrities or models, they kind of all are on the same path. And it seems a lot of them have been exposed to things that hopefully a lot of in school young adults haven't been exposed to.

People are judged and you have to either get on with it or don't do it. Moaning about it makes it look like you target young women. It is the target part that makes it concerning.

If you were dating all ages and then found a connection with a relatively young adult and it happened naturally then would there be people butting up against you? Maybe but you'd not have a history of targeting younger women to be used against you. Right?

Honestly, date who you want to date. If people have a problem with it you'll soon know. Who cares about the internet. It's her family's opinion that matters. If you keep this energy going you will be seen in that light.

There are women who have grown children. There are women who are older but have no children. There are women in their 20s with no children. Why does it have to be a teenager?

As a mum, I'd be concerned to date someone who talks like this because I'd be worried about when my daughter becomes a teenager.

You are very vocal about things that create a strong image of your situation. You sound like an older person who has difficulty with relationships and sexual encounters. Almost like you don't know how to go about it and are blaming society for it not just happening for you. It might be easier to start up some kind of relationship with a younger adult/older teen because they are more naïve and more willing to follow emotions but they will be more flitty and more likely to wake up one day thinking wtf? They won't be ready to settle even if they think they are.

Sometimes it works out. My sister in law dated a MAN who she babysat for at a very young age he is now her husband. Everyone was mad. She was 15/16 and he was in his 30s. That was very wrong. He may have even gotten beaten up for it. They are still together, they have over 9 grandchildren and everyone accepts them now. He didn't date other young people. And I'd think she was probably more in control of that. But I don't believe he looked for young people and set out to date her.

[Dr. Shades]

You’re mostly trying to come up an explanation of why you can’t get a younger woman to date your wrinkled, old, white ass.

Or society should simply stay out of our dating lives.

Hold the phone. . . you think SOCIETY is what's keeping young girls from wanting to date you??

[Some Schmo]

Or society should simply stay out of our dating lives.

Hold the phone. . . you think SOCIETY is what's keeping young girls from wanting to date you??

Well, it is a cultural thing to avoid dating creepy predators... isn't it? I mean, movies, television, novels... they're all painting a picture of bad things happening to good people when they are targeted by predators.

[Res Ipsa]

DT experiences himself at war with something external to himself, when he is actually at war with himself.

[Imwashingmypirate]

I tried to visualise this in a scenario I'd be able to feel. I imagined if I divorced my husband and he started dating an 18 year old how would I feel. I'd be disgusted and I don't think that has much to do with society. And he is in his 30s.

I think of the missionaries. When I was a teen, we looked up to them thinking they were amazing. Then you by pass them and they start to feel like little brothers. And now they look like prepubescent children.

[Doctor Steuss]

I tried to visualise this in a scenario I'd be able to feel. I imagined if I divorced my husband and he started dating an 18 year old how would I feel. I'd be disgusted and I don't think that has much to do with society. And he is in his 30s.

I think of the missionaries. When I was a teen, we looked up to them thinking they were amazing. Then you by pass them and they start to feel like little brothers. And now they look like prepubescent children.

For me, it's mostly just wondering what on earth a man or woman could possibly see in someone who could be their own child. Not just the "ick" factor, but on an intellectual/emotional level. That is, unless they aren't looking for a partner, and see the opposite sex as innately alien or inferior, and not as fully actualized human individuals.

In my early 30s (before marrying my now-ex-wife), I was using an app/website for dating. I went on a date with a woman who was 22, and one with a woman who was 23. It was like going on a date with someone from a completely different planet. I can't remember which one of them it was, but the question of music popped up, and they said they liked listening to really old stuff... like Blink 182 (I died). After that, I put a hard stop on anyone who was more than 5 years younger than me. I imagine that now I'm in my mid-40's, if I were to date again, I would have difficulty connecting with anyone younger than mid/late-30s.

There are certain types of emotional/spiritual/mental growth, and life goals that come with age and life experiences. Similarly matched emotional/spiritual/mental maturity is incredibly attractive... at least it is to me, and I imagine it generally is to most mentally healthy people.

[Imwashingmypirate]

I tried to visualise this in a scenario I'd be able to feel. I imagined if I divorced my husband and he started dating an 18 year old how would I feel. I'd be disgusted and I don't think that has much to do with society. And he is in his 30s.

I think of the missionaries. When I was a teen, we looked up to them thinking they were amazing. Then you by pass them and they start to feel like little brothers. And now they look like prepubescent children.

For me, it's mostly just wondering what on earth a man or woman could possibly see in someone who could be their own child. Not just the "ick" factor, but on an intellectual/emotional level. That is, unless they aren't looking for a partner, and see the opposite sex as innately alien or inferior, and not as fully actualized human individuals.

In my early 30s (before marrying my now-ex-wife), I was using an app/website for dating. I went on a date with a woman who was 22, and one with a woman who was 23. It was like going on a date with someone from a completely different planet. I can't remember which one of them it was, but the question of music popped up, and they said they liked listening to really old stuff... like Blink 182 (I died). After that, I put a hard stop on anyone who was more than 5 years younger than me. I imagine that now I'm in my mid-40's, if I were to date again, I would have difficulty connecting with anyone younger than mid/late-30s.

There are certain types of emotional/spiritual/mental growth, and life goals that come with age and life experiences. Similarly matched emotional/spiritual/mental maturity is incredibly attractive... at least it is to me, and I imagine it generally is to most mentally healthy people.

This all makes sense to me. This is how I visualise it.

But I wonder... If someone has never had a relationship where they are on that same level maybe they don't know what they'd be missing out on? They might be thinking purely sexual and of the physical body. And even more so if they've never dated a young person either. They don't know what dating you get people would be like.

I'm not exactly experienced but I do have an ability to visualise scenarios.

[doubtingthomas]

Well, it is a cultural thing to avoid dating creepy predators... isn't it? I mean, movies, television, novels... they're all painting a picture of bad things happening to good people when they are targeted by predators.

Exactly! Older men = Creepy predators.

Right?

The point is that there are thousands of video and articles shaming men who try to date women under 25. Google it.

I realize that's the point, a point that you have not demonstrated. If these videos and articles are so plentiful, it shouldn't be difficult for you to find one. The burden of proof is on you, not me.

Didn't you watch the Tik Tok video and read the Medium article? Some Schmo called me a creepy predator. How many more examples do you need?

DT experiences himself at war with something external to himself, when he is actually at war with himself.

Some Schomo is calling me a creepy predator and that's somehow a war with myself? Why is it so hard to acknowledge the campaigns trying to persuade young women to avoid older men?

[doubtingthomas]

Do you really want to date someone who is partying? Who hasn't made a bunch of mistakes yet?

Yes to both.

There are women who have grown children. There are women who are older but have no children. There are women in their 20s with no children. Why does it have to be a teenager?

It doesn't.

People are judged and you have to either get on with it or don't do it. Moaning about it makes it look like you target young women.

So, it's okay to judge men, but it's not okay to judge women, right? I don't target 19 year olds.

Are Trump's comments about women and minorities acceptable? If not, why is it okay to demonize men?

It might be easier to start up some kind of relationship with a younger adult/older teen because they are more naïve and more willing to follow emotions but they will be more flitty and more likely to wake up one day thinking wtf? They won't be ready to settle even if they think they are.

That's not true, it's actually easier to start a relationship with women over 30. Unfortunately, it's not easy to find good women who are over 26.

There are a lot of studies pointing out that older adults underestimate the intelligence of young people, some older adults seem to suffer from the dunning-kruger effect.

You are very vocal about things that create a strong image of your situation. You sound like an older person who has difficulty with relationships and sexual encounters. Almost like you don't know how to go about it and are blaming society for it not just happening for you.

No, dating is not easy these days, at least not for young men. 63% of men ages 18 to 29 are single, compared to only 30% of women. I've dated plenty of women, but it is not easy start a relationship with a great woman who doesn't have kids.

I can blame that part of society that tries to prevent young women from dating older men.

[Gadianton]

Didn't you watch the Tik Tok video

Nope. I won't watch it because you failed. I'll explain.

Here's the problem with people like you and Ajax, and my right-wing friend that used to send me junk articles all the time. You have your preconceived notion of how reality is. All you care about is justifying your preconceived notion. You then shotgun links to -- whatever -- that you think makes your point, but you may not even have even a superficial understanding of the very information you're sending on.

So what I used to do with my right-wing friend, before I told him he wasn't allowed to forward me anymore emails or links, is pick one item from his list and if it was obviously bunk or there was some major issue with it, I told him I wouldn't consider the other points. Because what people like you and he are all about, is going to the next article you haven't read, and the next, and the next, and exhausting the victim of your links.

I picked one item from your list, the first link. You knowingly misrepresented it, removing the question mark from the title. Then it turns out the video you sent was actually defending older men dating young women. The title was intended to shock, exaggerating the material he was reviewing of two women talking about experiences with older men. Clearly, they weren't that much against it since they had a good laugh together about how hot this older guy was that the interviewee was dating at one time.

I don't have endless hours to do your homework for you, nor do I care to. And so now I won't read the next five or ten resources you post, and then down the road, I might review another. But if you screw it up like you did that YouTube video, then it may be months before I read anything you link to.

In fact, I think I'll hunt down that show that was reviewed and email them, telling them what a great job they did and how they need to continue to scrutinize this blight on civilized society -- older men seeking young women. I may send multiple emails from different accounts praising them for raising the alarm, and suggest they get more aggressive about it.