Dr. Shades wrote:That's only because her parents gave written consent to the marriage. Had they not, she couldn't be married.
I wasn't aware of that, but I think it brings us to an important point about older dude-young girl romance, that to the extent that it "works", it needs some heavy cultural subsidizing. DT would need to start by becoming a religious fundamentalist of some stripe but the competition would be really intense. My relative would be just the kind of guy who would get permission, when I say he was a stud, it wasn't actually in the 80s rock kind of way, he would be just the guy to get permission because he was so well liked by everyone. He's the type who'd give you his last 20 dollars if he thought you needed it more than he did. After that didn't work out after a decade+ I think, his next wife was in a totally different category.
Everyone has their cross to bear and wants what they can't have. While I'm sure the first wife's youthful looks wasn't a negative in his pursuits, it also wasn't the primary objective, I'm pretty sure. His big life hang up was an open secret and not love interest related. He achieved what a guy like DT dreams of with no effort, and it didn't fulfill him because he'd never had a problem with dating. I would bet she approached him at church and not the other way around.
I'm not going to say what it was, but his life hang up was something that would lend to general social sympathy (unlike DT's which
obviously lends to hugely negative reactions), but his obsession with it became a huge negative for people around him, and ultimately led to his demise. Most people would say about his cross, "yeah I get it, it's understandable, but so what? Other than that you've got it all, looks, health, personality, money, and so move on!" But he couldn't move on. Since he had personality, looks, and money, it didn't matter to him, he wanted something that he couldn't have, and that was that.
The lesson to DT is to forget about dating and find another reason to live. If my relative could have had what he couldn't, it would have been no big deal to him and so the question is, would he obsess over the next thing on the list?