America's NATO Ally Urged to 'Buy California'
Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2025 6:48 pm
A Danish petition to "buy California" from the U.S. has gained just shy of 200,000 signatures. The petition was set up in response to President Donald Trump's quest to acquire Greenland.
Newsweek has contacted Denmark's Ministry of Foreign Affairs for comment by email.
Denmarkification
Newsweek has contacted Denmark's Ministry of Foreign Affairs for comment by email.
Denmarkification
Buy California from Trump – Denmark’s Next Big Adventure
Have you ever looked at a map and thought, "You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates." Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality.
Let’s buy California from Donald Trump!
Yes, you heard that right.
California could be ours, and we need your help to make it happen.
The funniest bit to me was this:Why California?
Sunshine Galore: Let’s face it, Denmark’s weather is… well, let’s just say it’s cozy. California has 300 days of sunshine a year. Imagine swapping your rain boots for flip-flops!
Tech Dominance: Gaining an extra bunch of Tech bros? Great! It is what every democracy needs.
Avocado Toast Forever: California grows 90% of the U.S.’s avocados. That’s right – we’ll never run out of avocado toast.
To protect the free world: Most people say we have the best freedom. Colossal freedom.
Disneyland: We’ll rename it Hans Christian Andersenland. Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet? Yes, please.
Why Trump Might Sell
Let’s be honest – Trump isn’t exactly California’s biggest fan. He’s called it "the most ruined state in the Union" and has feuded with its leaders for years. We’re pretty sure he’d be willing to part with it for the right price.
And hey, we’ll even throw in a lifetime supply of Danish pastries to sweeten the deal.
As for the will of the citizens? Well, let’s face it – when has that ever stopped him? If Trump wants to sell California, he’ll sell California.
The Tremendous Plan
Crowdfunding Goal of $1 trillion (give or take a few billion). That’s just 200,000 kroner from every Dane. Skip a few lattes, and you’re golden.
We’ll send our bestest negotiators – Lego executives and the cast of Borgen.
It is in the national interest to promote the extraordinary heritage of our Nation, so California will become New Denmark. Los Angeles? More like Løs Ångeles.
Danish Values: We’ll bring hygge to Hollywood, bike lanes to Beverly Hills, and organic smørrebrød to every street corner. Rule of law, universal health care and fact based politics might apply.
A great amusement for Danes is hearing Americans try to repeat the phrase "rødgrød med fløde", which is very difficult for Americans to say. I spoiled their fun by saying it perfectly. Of course, when I revealed that I was born in Norway, they were no longer impressed, as we Norwegians can say it as easily as Danes can. "Rødgrød med fløde" translates to "red porridge with cream", which is a favorite Danish (and Norwegian) dessert.From Hygge to Hollywood – Let’s Make California Danish!
So, what do you say, Denmark?
Let’s make history and buy California. Together, we can bring a little bit of Danish magic to the Golden State – and maybe even teach them how to pronounce "rødgrød med fløde."
Sign now, and let’s make New Denmark a reality!