Gazelam wrote:Thanks alot for your post. Yours set an example that others, and hopefully more, will follow.
I understand what you mean about a sence of freedom when you set aside the church. That is one of the halmarks of the christian faith, is that God demands something of his people. between watching what you do, being aware that people watch what you do, denying yourself the ability to watch a popular movie because its rated R, spending your weekend at church. These things can build up and make you frustrated and angry if you are doing them without the company of the Holy Ghost. Even with the company of the Holy Ghost they can sometimes get frustrating. I read the biography of Bruce R McConkie and he talked about the need of finding a balance betwen church and family time. I spoke a little about this with my bishop as well, he stated that it wasn't really that great a burden to him, being a Bishop I mean, because he put that Job on a schedule. he is Bishop at church functions, on Sundays, and on Thursdays when he does his interviews. the rest of the time he spends with his family and doing normal things. He found his balance.
Why do people go to church? Because they believe in God. They believe that there is a purpose to life. What do you believe is the purpose in life gramps? Why are we here? What is your view?
As for people telling you that you will be eternally unhappy, they lack understanding. The Father will place you where you are comfortable. If you have lived your life after the manner of the world, then that is where you wil stay, among others who feel the same way. But what peopel are clumsily trying to express to you is that there is more. it is only in the highest kingdom that marriage and progeny continue. It is by accepting responsibilities in spiritual matters, eternal matters, that God can entrust you with all that he has. If that does not interest you, than so be it. I simply offer you that there is more to learn and understand.
All the best
Gaz
Hi Gaz. Trust me. I am not one who tries to set an example for others to follow. I would not sugget to anyone that they follow my path. But, I think you meant that as some kind of compliment, so I thank you.
Gaz said:
I understand what you mean about a sence [sic] of freedom when you set aside the church.
Were you reading some other post than mine when you thought to make this point? Where did I talk about a sense of freedom?
I did say this:
I actually enjoy life and am quite at peace not knowing the truth of it all. In fact, that's what is cool about not believing the Mormon nonsense. The world is much more interesting and mysterious to me now than when I was trying to figure out Kolobian astronomy and how handshakes had to be just so, in order to get into heaven.
The world is much more interesting and mysterious, not knowing it all. But I did not leave the church because it was too demanding. On the contrary, Gaz, I think living the Mormon life is a piece of cake compared to living outside of it. I find it much more demanding and challenging outside the church. What's so tough, assuming you believe it all, to turning on the autopilot function and cruising through life without having to think about why you're doing what you're doing?
If you are telling me that, were the Holy Ghost not your constant companion, you would be frustrated and even angry about following a Mormon-type christian life, I would suggest that is a clue to you that something isn't quite right about the beliefs you hold so dear.
When I left the church, I found myself more sensitive to truth, more sensitive to morals and ethics and beauty, more sensitive to how I dealt with my friends and family. I was a better student, a better employee, a better husband, etc.
Don't go trying to tell me that you live somehow a better, more pure life because you have the Holy Ghost with you. I don't buy it. You seem to have fallen hook, line and sinker for the typical Mormon-Christian mantra, that the rest of us, the non-believers, are all heathens; that the "natural man" is an enemy to God. I know you have to believe that, for whatever reason, which only you will ever know.
In fact, when I was once like you, I believed like you do now. But, it is not true. How about that? What you think you believe is true is not true. In fact, I do believe that people walking around forcing or manufacturing "the Holy Ghost" into their lives through their daily scripture study, attending their Fast and Testimony meetings, doing their home teaching, having their family prayers around the dinner table, avoiding R-rated movies, etc. ad nauseum are living life within a vicious circle, from which it is difficult to extricate themselves. I think it would be fair to analogize to a drug addict, who keeps needing to up the dosage to get the same high. You aren't doing anything different, really. You are just psychologically, rather than physically, addicted. Your body might not waste away through your addiction, but I believe you are arresting the development of your soul.
What I am saying here is true in my experience. I was quite surprised to learn this because I once thought just like you.
I had to take a leap of faith when I left the church because I had come to realize that the idea a human could have access to the absolute truth wasn't accurate. But, something assured me that it would be ok. I had to do all this alone. I didn't have a board to come to for support and hear from others that I would be ok when I took that leap.
And guess what: I jumped out of a black-and-white world into the most beautiful rainbow-colored world, full of the most amazing people, cultures and ideas. But I could never have found that had I not taken that leap of faith, based on reason, experience and common sense. Trust me, you don't even know just how black-and-white and lifeless that world you are in really is. You are so immersed in your daily manufacturing of the Mormon spirit life that you can't see the beauty of the world in which you live.
Why would you even need to go to your Bishop to figure out how to balance your life? Isn't it simple? If I am sitting at this computer 24/7, at some point I only have to look at my girlfriend and watch her behavior to realize that I have lost balance and perspective. If I am around her 24/7, I only have to be attentive to her behavior to know that I should give her some breathing room. If I am working so much that my friends have lost interest in me, isn't that quite clear that I should slow down and spend some time with my friends and put in the required effort to keeping those friendships. You know a lot better about your life, if you watch the people around you and listen inside of you, and what to do to stay healthy and happy.
But, and I may be wrong, I would guess, because you are a good Mormon, that you are constantly having to try to justify everything you are doing in your life, because you have been told you have to do all this stuff, but reality keeps smacking you aside the head and you can't figure out how to balance it all. So you run to your priesthood leader and try to figure it out, or fast for 48, instead of 24 hours, or read for 30 minutes each day from the Book of Mormon, instead of only fifteen, and on and on. This is the addiction I am talking about. I've seen it in a lot of Mormons.
My purpose in life is a simple one, Gaz. Get as much experience out of life that I can, without crossing over my personal ethical boundaries and not crossing over intrusively into someone else's space while I do it. It works for me.
Why are we here? That's the million dollar question. But, I don't find any peace or happiness in convincing myself through the manufacturing of the spirit through the daily Mormon routine that I know the answer to that question. I am at peace not knowing. I don't suffer from that angst from which you seem to suffer.
All in due time, Gaz. All in due time. But, one thing for sure. On my death bed I don't want to have any regrets. I'm trying to live my life in such a way that that won't be the case. That is enough.
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