No one really gives a damn

[_Dr. Shades]

#1 son's mission experience has been an overall plus. He learned a difficult foreign language and learned to manuever successfully within that culture. His knowledge of the foreign language and culture (Japanese) has helped him in his business (as a consultant with an international computer business). His MP was an almost complete SOB, but my son didn't spend much time with him, because he was never in a leadership position (the MP wouldn't have known an inspiration if it bit him in the butt). Overall, I'd give it a thumb's up.

Just for everyone's gee-whiz files: Harmony's son and I were in the same mission and had the same mission president as mentioned above.

Small world, eh?

[_Runtu]

#1 son's mission experience has been an overall plus. He learned a difficult foreign language and learned to manuever successfully within that culture. His knowledge of the foreign language and culture (Japanese) has helped him in his business (as a consultant with an international computer business). His MP was an almost complete SOB, but my son didn't spend much time with him, because he was never in a leadership position (the MP wouldn't have known an inspiration if it bit him in the butt). Overall, I'd give it a thumb's up.

Just for everyone's gee-whiz files: Harmony's son and I were in the same mission and had the same mission president as mentioned above.

Small world, eh?

Mine was a mixed bag, though I'd say generally positive.

I met some of the best people in the mission, and some of the worst. My mission president was a good man who for some reason threw out some pretty obvious hints (in hindsight) about the church's truthfulness, or lack thereof. I learned a foreign language and learned to love Bolivian culture. And I met my wife there.

The negatives were mostly physical. 20 years after the fact, I still have terrible digestive system problems that will be with me the rest of my life. And the other was the constant drive to do better, which ended up causing crushing guilt in a lot of people I know. I don't think I felt that guilty, but I certainly never felt like I was good enough when I was on my mission. I could have done without that.

[Dr. Sunstoned]

I spent two years pushing book of Mormons onto people. It sucked or was good based on who you were with. If you were with someone who wanted to have fun, you had fun. If you were with a tightwad who was interested in useless things such as tracting, etc then it was LITERALLY HELL.

After I returned and before the cog-dis left my mind I told myself that it was the best thinkg I could have done for myself.

Now I see I was dead wrong. I could have finished school 2 years earlier, my career could b etwo years ahead, my social network could have been much larger. All of these things are direct benefits for not wasting two years of my life trying to make my round peg fit in the square hole.

Mormon missions are a point of pride for the believer. Its their ticket into mainstream Mormonism. The shunning and stigma attached to individuals who did not go is astounding.

Pressure to go on an LDS mission is compounded by the fact that females will marry a loser RM over a nice non-RM.

One of the biggest surprises to my exmormon mind was the fact that noone really gives a damn wether you were an LDS missionary or not when interacting with individuals outside of Mormonism. In fact they actually feel sorry for you.

I now see my mission experience as one of the most (practical) useless two years I spent. I might as well had become a heroine addict for two years, at least I could've had SOME happiness.

Loran:

Good heavens Vegas could you quite your pathetic, narcissistic whining?

There are hundreds of thousands of returned missionaries and missionaries in the field who wouldn't have the slightest idea what you're talking about and would probably pick up in short order, as I have, that you don't have any idea what you're talking about. Again, you prove our points: Many exmos shouldn't be in formus such as this parading their personal demons in public, but in church or, failing that, on a couch at least making an attempt to do something constructive about them.

[_Runtu]

Loran:

Good heavens Vegas could you quite your pathetic, narcissistic whining?

There are hundreds of thousands of returned missionaries and missionaries in the field who wwouldn't have the slightest idea what you're talking about and would probably pick up in short order, as I have, that you don't have any idea what you're talking about. Again, you prove our points: Many exmos shouldn't be in formus such as this parading their personal demons in public, but in church or, failing that, on a couch at least making an attempt to do something constructive about them.

I suspect that there are just as many returned missionaries and missionaries in the field who know exactly what he's talking about. I've talked to a lot of people, both in and out of the church, and the range of experience runs from the sublime to the horrific, though thankfully most mission experiences lie somewhere in between.

Some people had bad experiences, and some of them feel like talking about the experience is a constructive thing. I'm not sure how that qualifies as parading personal demons.

[_Coggins7]

Coggins7 wrote:

Loran:

Good heavens Vegas could you quite your pathetic, narcissistic whining?

There are hundreds of thousands of returned missionaries and missionaries in the field who wwouldn't have the slightest idea what you're talking about and would probably pick up in short order, as I have, that you don't have any idea what you're talking about. Again, you prove our points: Many exmos shouldn't be in formus such as this parading their personal demons in public, but in church or, failing that, on a couch at least making an attempt to do something constructive about them.

I suspect that there are just as many returned missionaries and missionaries in the field who know exactly what he's talking about. I've talked to a lot of people, both in and out of the church, and the range of experience runs from the sublime to the horrific, though thankfully most mission experiences lie somewhere in between.

Some people had bad experiences, and some of them feel like talking about the experience is a constructive thing. I'm not sure how that qualifies as parading personal demons.

Loran:

Nice try at sugar coating Vegas' adolescent pity party. I've talked to many returned and active missionaries over the last 35 or so years and I've met nary a one who didn't consider his or her experience the best thing he or she could have been doing. Of course, these were either missionaries in the field or returned missionaries who were active in the church and serious about that activity, so I suspect that the people we have both talkied to differs substantially as to the number and degree of negative vs. positive experiences. Some probably did have bad experiences (for whatever reasons) and may want to talk about them. However, I deny catatgorically that there is anything 'constructive" about VegasRefugee's specific example.

Loran

[_Runtu]

Loran:

Nice try at sugar coating Vegas' adolescent pity party. I've talked to many returned and active missionaries over the last 35 or so years and I've met nary a one who didn't consider his or her experience the best thing he or she could have been doing. Of course, these were either missionaries in the field or returned missionaries who were active in the church and serious about that activity, so I suspect that the people we have both talkied to differs substantially as to the number and degree of negative vs. positive experiences. Some probably did have bad experiences (for whatever reasons) and may want to talk about them. However, I deny catatgorically that there is anything 'constructive" about VegasRefugee's specific example.

Loran

I don't know about that. I was active in the church for nearly 20 years after my mission (still am, technically, I suppose), and I've heard the good and the bad. For almost four years in Houston, we had the missionaries over weekly, and again, some were having the time of their lives, and some were having a miserable time (though all of them agreed that the outgoing mission president was a control freak and a real jerk). I was a believing Mormon at the time and did not solicit any negative information. Clearly your experience has been different. My mission was generally a good experience, as I said. Last year I corresponded with a missionary who was having a miserable time on his mission and wanted to go home. His experience was pretty awful. For reasons too complicated to get into here, I encouraged him to stay and finish his mission and make the best of the time he had remaining. Just 2 weeks ago, a boy in our ward returned from the very same mission and told me he had a wonderful experience.

I guess I just wonder how anyone can state categorically that VegasRefugee's speaking of his own mission is constructive or not. Neither of us is VR, so it's hard to say that he's not getting anything positive from sharing his feelings.

[_MormonMendacity]

I've talked to many returned and active missionaries over the last 35 or so years and I've met nary a one who didn't consider his or her experience the best thing he or she could have been doing.

Judging from how you believe you are 100% right about everything, Loran, I doubt that people who disagree with you would view you as a receptive listener and open up.

I, too, did not think my mission was the best two years of my life and wish I had never gone. I know at least twenty RMs who feel the same way.

[_OUT OF MY MISERY]

We once owned a business and had several young men come in and applied the first thing many of them would say where they had been on a mission my hubby and I would look at each other and smile...no way

Well one young man came in looking a little scruffy kinda like a snowboarding type...last thing he said was where he had gone on a mission, but we hired him and he was the best and we all got along beautifully with each other..he was a fine young man and loved the outdoors and has married the young lady that waited for him to come home,,,a while after he had been back...he sowed a few wild oats after he came back....he did not wear his mission on his sleeve but he often spoke fondly of his experiences in the mission field

His mother did talk him into cutting his hair after we had hired him...we paid him well because he deserved it and we knew we could trust him...and he was a student and we wanted to keep him as an employee....

So I don't hate all missionaries...

My aunt's son's all went on mission's and she has spoken of her son's experiences both good and bad

[_harmony]

I, too, did not think my mission was the best two years of my life and wish I had never gone. I know at least twenty RMs who feel the same way.

One sure way to get busted down to the bottom of my daughter's Eligible Bachelor's List is to start a sentence with "when I was on my mission..."

Several years ago, I heard a remarkable statistic. A friend of mine was living in Portland OR at the time, and a GA came to speak at their stake conference. The Saturday night meeting had a missionary work theme. In the talk, the GA said that 50% of RM's would be inactive within 6 months of returning. Since my friend was headed in that direction, it was something that stuck with him.

[_Mercury]

I, too, did not think my mission was the best two years of my life and wish I had never gone. I know at least twenty RMs who feel the same way.

One sure way to get busted down to the bottom of my daughter's Eligible Bachelor's List is to start a sentence with "when I was on my mission..."

Several years ago, I heard a remarkable statistic. A friend of mine was living in Portland OR at the time, and a GA came to speak at their stake conference. The Saturday night meeting had a missionary work theme. In the talk, the GA said that 50% of RM's would be inactive within 6 months of returning. Since my friend was headed in that direction, it was something that stuck with him.

I have heard the same statistic.