harmony wrote:I have grave reservations that this would work. Not only do I think it won't work, but I think it has the potential to do significant harm.
My biggest concern is that it seems to rest on the premise that the problem is YOU, so you need to stop harboring any bad feelings toward the church. If that's true, it is a recipe for disaster.
Agreed. I think that it needs to be established that the individual is not to blame for what he/she is feeling. It is how he/she chooses to deal with these feelings that determines how to heal and live a productive life. Sometimes, dealing with these feelings will need the help of a professional counselor. Other times, it's a matter of discussing things with a trusted friend, or the person being given a place they feel safe in sharing what they are feeling.
One thing that Wade often missed is that there has to be a recognition of the feelings that exist. The process of healing is not in ignoring these feelings, but dealing with them.
I think what often happens on boards like RfM is that people get stuck in the venting mode, and don't move forward, and take that next step to the healing mode. That's honestly why I rarely post or lurk there anymore. The negativity which exists there seems to come and go. This isn't a slam on the RfM board...just an observation.
liz3564 wrote:Agreed. I think that it needs to be established that the individual is not to blame for what he/she is feeling. It is how he/she chooses to deal with these feelings that determines how to heal and live a productive life. Sometimes, dealing with these feelings will need the help of a professional counselor. Other times, it's a matter of discussing things with a trusted friend, or the person being given a place they feel safe in sharing what they are feeling.
One thing that Wade often missed is that there has to be a recognition of the feelings that exist. The process of healing is not in ignoring these feelings, but dealing with them.
That's what I worry about, that the focus seems to be on invalidating the feelings to begin with. "Once it's established that these feelings have no rational basis, you can move on." I don't think that works.
I think what often happens on boards like RfM is that people get stuck in the venting mode, and don't move forward, and take that next step to the healing mode. That's honestly why I rarely post or lurk there anymore. The negativity which exists there seems to come and go. This isn't a slam on the RfM board...just an observation.
I agree. I don't post as much over there. I caught a lot of flak over on the other board for saying that I saw a lot of good stuff on RfM besides the venting. But really, the anger seems to be a natural part of the process, but if you get stuck in it, watch out.
Jersey Girl wrote:It seems to me that the name of your future board has got to be something easily searchable on the internet. That's why I chose titles with "Mormon" or "Latter-day" in them. Do you think using the term "Latter-day" is misleading in some theological way? It might be. I also tried to keep in mind the nautical descriptors that you use in reference to what you'd like the board to be about.
What about...
Mormon Pathways Mormon Pathways for Healing Mormon Pathways and Guiding Principles
I really think that if Mormonism is a kind of centerpiece, you need to have some sort of easily recognizable LDS reference in there so that people can google it up. Gosh, I was just looking at that first list and I really like "Latter-day Light". I'm usually good at dreaming up titles like that, I will think about it further.
You want to steal from FRAZIER????? May it rain a thousand buckets on you until slugs emerge from the ground of the Emerald City...and may you be out of salt! Jersey Girl ;-)
You may be right about the "centerpiece" and googling. I will give it some more thought. And, your other suggestion are valued as well.
harmony wrote:I have grave reservations that this would work. Not only do I think it won't work, but I think it has the potential to do significant harm.
My biggest concern is that it seems to rest on the premise that the problem is YOU, so you need to stop harboring any bad feelings toward the church. If that's true, it is a recipe for disaster.
Actually, the disasters have already occured, and my efforts are intented to clean up the mess created thereby and avert further disasters.
The disasters have happened because parties on both sides of the perceived divide have been intent on looking externally for their problems, have focused on accessing blame rather than on finding mutually benefitial solutions, and have sought validation and venting for their ill-feelings, rather than looking for functional ways to heal and attain the basic human needs of mutual love, value, and respect. And, the disasters are bound to repeat themselves unless that "recipe" is changed.
I am offer a proven and workable change to that "recipe". But, it is up to those expriencing disasters to CHOOSE to accept that offer to change, or not.
wenglund wrote: Actually, the disasters have already occured, and my efforts are intented to clean up the mess created thereby and avert further disasters.
The disasters have happened because parties on both sides of the perceived divide have been intent on looking externally for their problems, have focused on accessing blame rather than on finding mutually benefitial solutions, and have sought validation and venting for their ill-feelings, rather than looking for functional ways to heal and attain the basic human needs of mutual love, value, and respect. And, the disasters are bound to repeat themselves unless that "recipe" is changed.
So, in essence, your solution involves removing "blame" from the consideration, right? Maybe I've been misreading you. I understood you to say that healing couldn't take place until I admitted that the church was not at all at fault. If I am reading you correctly, you're saying that it doesn't matter who is to blame but rather how we deal with the situation. If that's right, I think we might agree after all.
I am offer a proven and workable change to that "recipe". But, it is up to those expriencing disasters to CHOOSE to accept that offer to change, or not.
Thanks, -Wade Englund-
How does one choose to accept? What must one do first?
Gazelam wrote:My disdain for psycology is the victim mentality that accompanies alot of it. Not to mention the needless medication in many cases.
But hey, that's just me. If it works for some, then there ya go.
Wonder how all the ritalin kids will be as adults?
They will likely be adults on ritalin. Why do you wonder about that?
Jersey Girl
I think what Gaz is getting at, is that it is wrong to take medications that enhance you. If the Lord had not meant for those kids to do miserably in school, then he would not have made them that way. Same way with eyeglasses. Suffer the little children as it says in the Bible.
Now don't shoot me, this is not any type of thinking that I advocate.