Dr. Peterson Weighs in on Self-Abuse

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_Bond...James Bond
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Post by _Bond...James Bond »

Morningstar got this part mostly right.

MorningStar wrote:Masturbation involves fantasy. When that fantasy is no longer exciting enough, the person often will fantasize about something more exciting, turn to porn, it becomes boring, so they turn to even worse porn, and masturbation conditions that person to find some things acceptable that they used to find repulsive. They learn to associate those things with feeling good. It is like a drug addict going to stronger drugs because they're not getting that same high they used to get. I'm not saying every person who masturbates will become an addict, but it's a definite danger and can interfere with their future romantic life with their spouse because they become desensitized to normal relations.


Let me fix a few of her errors though....

MorningStar edited by Bond wrote:Mormonism involves fantasy. When that fantasy is no longer exciting enough, the person often will fantasize about something more exciting, turn to the Book of Mormon, it becomes boring, so they turn to even more made up stuff, and Mormonism conditions that person to find some things acceptable that they used to find illogical. They learn to associate those things with feeling good. It is like a drug addict going to stronger drugs because they're not getting that same high they used to get. I'm not saying every person who's Mormon will become a love machine, but it's a definite danger and can interfere with their future romantic life with their spouse because they become desensitized to normal relations.


There. :)
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_The Dude
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Post by _The Dude »

Dr. Shades wrote:I'll go ahead and ask:

Is there anything inherently wrong with objectification?


Objectification... or personification. Maybe the real problem is when we start to treat objects as women.
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_harmony
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Post by _harmony »

Why is Morningstar interested in someone else's fantasy? For that matter, why are LDS bishops interested in anyone's fantasy?
_beastie
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Post by _beastie »

I have to admit I'm not too clear on how objectifying is being used on this thread (but that mirrors my confusion on how it is used in society as a whole).

I think very few people truly "objectify" other human beings, in which they totally divest that human of his/her humanity. Looking at a physical body with lust does not necessarily equate "objectifying" the individual. In fact, I would guess that someone who truly "objectifies" other human beings probably has a serious psychological disorder.

Am I that strange that I like the idea of my boyfriend/fiance/soulmate thinking I'm hot and lusting after me? In fact, I would be devastated if he were to stop "objectifying" me in that way.

Here are some of my favorite comments:

Hammer to Loquacious Lurker:

I need to be reminded why this particular "sin" is so wrong? Because I am having trouble finding a victim here.

There is more than one victim if you are a father or part of a family with which you cannot be a spiritual power in the relationship.

Is the "sinner" the victim? Uh, no.

Uh, YES! You are pretending there are absolutely no lost Spirit of the Holy Ghost. You forget that there is no spiritual growth, only loss of light. You are getting dumberer every time you do this sin and withdrawing yourself from the light of Christ which light guides you and tells you it is wrong. You want to think it is all 'programming' from your parents and leaders that makes you feel guilty, but it is the Holy Ghost and Spirit of Christ grieving and withdrawing.


Is God the victim, then? Uh, no.

Uh, YES. The Lord loves you and grieves every time He must withdraw because he cannot tolerate the least degree of rejection or sin.

God, if there is one, is or, at least, SHOULD BE, more offended by the rape and slaughter of little girls in the Sudan, for instance, than such an insignificant event practiced by 95%+ of males and also a high percentage of females as well.

He is more offended. But offense is offense. Just because He is offended LESS, doesn't illiminate its consequences for yourself.

Who's left to be a victim? It's victimless. It's like blowing your nose, or taking an asprin for a headache, and calling it a crime.

Wrong! It is not victimless. This proves you have already become dumberer because you don't know this fact any longer.


It's posts like this one that made many of us wonder, in the past, if Hammer was a poser. I guess that's what happens when you hang around internet Mormons too long. You forget what a chapel Mormon looks like.

And posts like this make me hope Mighty Curelom never gets fed up with MAD the way I did:

Which brings up another issue: the lack of explicit scriptural proscription. While the authors of the Bible thought the dangers of wearing clothes made of two different materials sufficient to specifically prohibit, they have very little to say about the topic of "self-love." It seems strange that LDS leaders would so strongly emphasize a "sin" that's completely absent in scripture, while totally ignoring the much graver sin of mixed fabric.

Given the hit-and-miss nature of modern-day prophetic counsel, it seems to me that even an otherwise faithful Mormon could find justification to indulge in the scarcity of scriptural condemnation.


Honestly, does anyone other than LDS obsess over this? I think catholics kind of frown on it, but I don't think they obsess over it. Probably Heaven Gaters obsessed over it, and perhaps that it what led to their voluntary castrations.
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_beastie
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Post by _beastie »

Objectification... or personification. Maybe the real problem is when we start to treat objects as women.


I once saw a "documentary" about this very thing. It appears an enterprising entrepreneur has actually made a thriving business out of this.

I would provide a link, but it is personification porn. :P

If anyone acts like they know what I'm talking about, shame on you.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

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_harmony
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Post by _harmony »

beastie wrote:
Objectification... or personification. Maybe the real problem is when we start to treat objects as women.


I once saw a "documentary" about this very thing. It appears an enterprising entrepreneur has actually made a thriving business out of this.

I would provide a link, but it is personification porn. :P

If anyone acts like they know what I'm talking about, shame on you.


Well, I don't know what you're talking about, Trixie, but I have a hard time deciphering The Dude's comment too. Maybe because I think we already treat objects like women... or rather, I think men treat some of their toys/objects (electronics, pickups, boats, jet skies, snowboards, etc) better than they treat women.
_Fortigurn
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Post by _Fortigurn »

harmony wrote:Are you saying all sexual fantasies are bad/evil/a sin?


No. But I would consider sexual fantasies about a woman other than my wife, a form of adultery.
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Post by _Fortigurn »

Some Schmo wrote:References?


I wouldn't have thought that the statement 'A man who is conditioned to sexually objectify women is a man whose likelihood of treating them with respect and appropriate behaviour is significantly reduced' would have been contested.

Let me provide an analogy, 'A man who is conditioned to view his wife as his unqualified inferior is a man whose likelihood of treating them with respect and appropriate behaviour is signfiicantly reduced'. Would you disagree?

guy sajer wrote:I think there's a big difference between harmless sex fantasies, in which, I would guess, hundreds of millions of normal, reasonably well-adjusted people engage, and violent fantasies about killing, rape, and the like.


My point is that if the violent fantasies are not acted out, then they are equally harmless. That is why people don't rule them as immoral or unethical.

I find your position on this a bit absolutist and extreme, although I share your concern about the ill effects of objectification.


Yes, I'm sure you do. My position is that objectification is always harmful in some way, and people shouldn't do it. Your view seems to be that whilst you have concerns about the ill effects of objectification, you don't think that it's actually wrong.

As a general rule, I oppose gratuitious objectification, or that which crosses some ill-defined line, but I think zero tolerance is unreasonable and contrary to human nature.


Objectification is learned behaviour. It's not something like breathing, which we can't live without. That being the case, I don't see why it should be tolerated. Why should we tolerate a view of other people as mere objects for our sexual gratification?

A key in this, I think, is that we understand, and internalize, moral rules that constrains our "objectification" within morally or socially acceptable bounds.


You mean we are restrained from acting out our sexual objectification fantasies?

We all have socially or morally unacceptable impulses, but most of us learn how to control them within morally or socially acceptable bounds. I repeat, there are probably millions of men and women who engage, at times, in sexual objectification via pornography, but the vast majority of these place this behavior within reasonable socially, and arguable morally, acceptable bounds. The causal link between casual sexual objectification and anti-social tendencies is very weak and does not play out in 99% or so, I would guess, of cases.


Again, you seem to say that as long as it's all in your head, then everything's fine and it's not wrong. You also seem to believe that a man who is conditioned to think of women as sexual objects will always treat them with respect and not treat them as sexual objects. Do you really believe that's true? Do you believe that a man conditioned to think that women are simply objects for his sexual gratification will treat them with uniform respect?

As a final comment, I am well aware that objectification dulls our capacity for empathy and is a often an enabler in truly henious acts. I don't mean to diminish its potential gravity, I just think that casual sexual objectification (e.g., via fantasies or porn viewing) is, for the most part, pretty tame stuff.


Well that's meeting me halfway, at least.

liz3564 wrote:I think there should be a solid distinction here between "normal" sexual fantasies and violent sexual fantasies.


Who makes that distinction, and why should it be made? If neither are being acted out, where's the harm?

I agree that child porn is harmful to the psyche, and downright evil. I also think that some of the more violent images Fort portrayed earlier in his post are not acceptable, and if a person is fantasizing about bashing someone's face in, or raping someone, he or she probably needs to be psychoanalyzed.


I'm glad we agree on this, but I recognise we woudl be in the minority. The whole point about mental objectification and fantasies is that they're in someone's mind, and they're not a danger to anyone, right? Not only that, but they're no one else's business, right?

Kimberly Ann wrote:Not only is requiring a teen boy to ask a girl's permission to fantasize about her abusive to the boy, it would undoubtedly be disturbing to most girls! I know I wouldn't want to be asked; it's creepy. There may be some girls who would get a kick out of it, but I wouldn't be one of them. Also, though I doubt I'm the object of any man's fantasies (except hopefully my husband's), I would take no offense if I were and wouldn't feel objectified in the least. I definietly do not want to be asked for permission, though!


So you wouldn't take offence if you were the subject of someone's sexual fantasies, but you would find it creepy to find out that you were?

Also, there is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies. There's a huge difference in fantasizing about lovemaking and imagining stabbing someone in the face, as was used as an example in an earlier post. Fantasizing about sex and actually doing it are two different things. I, for one, would rather be doing it with my husband than fantasizing about it with someone else.


If there is nothing wrong with fantasizing, and if everything's ok because it's in your head and not acted out, then what is wrong with violent fantasies which aren't acted out?

Dr. Shades wrote:Is there anything inherently wrong with objectification?


There's a wealth of research literature demonstrating that publicly displayed sexual objectification has undesirable social scripting effects, and is related directly to a range of psychological disorders among men and women (mainly women).

Some Schmo wrote:The word "objectification" is just one of those baggage laden words that the shrill will use when arguing against porn without any credible evidence to back up their claims.


The subject of this discussion is not porn. Please don't try to hijack the thread so you can rant against your demons.

guy sajer wrote:Objectification can dull, and in extreme cases, destroy empathy. In examples of extreme inhumanity/cruelty (e.g., persecution of Jews during Nazi Germany, slavery, Rawanda genocide, etc.), I think you'll find that a pre-condition was the objectification of entire groups of people. So, a Hutu justifies killing a Tutu, because the Tutu is not human but an object--a "cockroach."

The question, rephrased, is whether it is inherently wrong to ever see someone as less than human? The answer is probably yes.


I agree with you (though I would say 'absolutely' rather than 'probably'), but I realise that you and I would be in the minority.
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Post by _Fortigurn »

Dr. Shades wrote:Okay, how about this: What about cases of objectification in which the "object" is considered a fantastic or wonderful thing?


Like the way wade on this forum has described how he was taught to view women? Like the 19th century Victorian version of objectification in which women were put on pedestals and burdened by unrealistic expectations as a result? Does this need to be asked? If they're still being viewed as an object, or even as the personification of an ideal, rather than a human being, it's still wrong.
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_harmony
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Post by _harmony »

Fortigurn wrote:
Dr. Shades wrote:Okay, how about this: What about cases of objectification in which the "object" is considered a fantastic or wonderful thing?


Like the way wade on this forum has described how he was taught to view women? Like the 19th century Victorian version of objectification in which women were put on pedestals and burdened by unrealistic expectations as a result? Does this need to be asked? If they're still being viewed as an object, or even as the personification of an ideal, rather than a human being, it's still wrong.


LDS leaders objectify women all the time. The ol' pedestal is alive and well in SL Central.
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