Ambushed

Post by **_grayskull** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:41 am

It's 8 p.m. and the babysitter should be showing up any minute. A knock at the door. My wife comes upstairs stressed out. I'm just jumping out of the shower and putting on a shirt frustrated that I'm going to be the one to run downstairs and let the babysitter in. My wife doesn't know what Mormons are really, or have any concept of missionaries or even door to door proselyting. She's scared because 3 men in suits are at the door, is it INS or the FBI or something? At that point I had to laugh to myself. What timing. And what bureaucratic mixup. Afterall, I'd been getting letters regularily from the stake mentioning, "we realize that you've requested no contact, and we respect that, but we invite..."

So here I am at the door. One guy, silent. One guy a little older, over and over, trying to BRT by saying things like, "Hey, I understood you went on a mission to ...., I just got back from there." "Hey, what part of ... were you in?" Like, you know, the one free night my wife and I have all week (or more) with all kinds of pressures and stresses I'm just going to drop it all and say, "Oh yeah? Hey, come on in. Let's talk about ... while I let my wife sit on the sidelines. Maybe she'll feel the spirit and ask to be baptized huh? It's all so simple you know.

In between the older guy trying to make a connection, the senior comp is paroting, "Is there a better time we could come back?" "Is there a better time we could come back?" Even after I said, "Hey look, I don't have time for this now" or "I've got family things I"m taking care of", they just can't read between the lines and need the direct F-U answer. So I had to eventually tell them, "Can you please go, now. Leave." Like Adam directing Satan out of the Garden.

Oh I know, when I was a missionary, if a less active talked to me that way it was just fuel for the confrontation. I used to be nicer to missionaries having been there and knowing what it was like on their side. But know I'm learning what it's like on the side of normal, sane, non-cult indoctrinated people. And I hate to say it, but I understand why I got the door slammed in my face. And they were right to do so. Two years, wasted, in annoying normal people.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:43 am

This sounds like a real testimony from the heart. Those fake and evil Mormons. Tell me when to applaud.

Post by **_beastie** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:52 am

This sounds like a real testimony from the heart. Those fake and evil Mormons. Tell me when to applaud.

Yeah, Ray, he was calling Mormons fake and evil. This is what you have to settle for to prove your case. LOL!

Lesson: don't say anything negative about Mormons or their behavior, even if it is ignoring a clear request for no contact, else you will be accused of calling Mormons names and possibly encouraging future violence against them.

In response to the original post, yes, of course we were irritating people when they had other things to do. Just like phone salesmen calling at dinner. And when you think about how often some of those doors (in ap't complexes) got knocked on by either us or the JW, it's amazing any of them were ever polite.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:04 am

beastie wrote:
This sounds like a real testimony from the heart. Those fake and evil Mormons. Tell me when to applaud.

Yeah, Ray, he was calling Mormons fake and evil. This is what you have to settle for to prove your case. LOL!

Lesson: don't say anything negative about Mormons or their behavior, even if it is ignoring a clear request for no contact, else you will be accused of calling Mormons names and possibly encouraging future violence against them.

In response to the original post, yes, of course we were irritating people when they had other things to do. Just like phone salesmen calling at dinner. And when you think about how often some of those doors (in ap't complexes) got knocked on by either us or the JW, it's amazing any of them were ever polite.

Says beastie, the Chief of the Anti-Mormon Police.

Post by **_Mercury** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:40 pm

Towards the beginning of my mission I had the realization that missionaries are a$$holes. They train tehm to BE aholes too. So I would be out with a greenie or yearling and they would start in with someone who just wanted to be left alone. Well, id pull them away when the missionaries dull sense of social queues was just not cutting it. I would say Thank you, we'd walk away and then the whiny beeyatches would usually start into "lazy elder hill". I would be told that they were "just about to feel the spirit and agree to meeting with us. I would tell them they were incorrect in that assumption and we would then be treated to several minutes of faith promoting misconceptions about how the other suckers the kid reeled in were "softened by the spirit", as if I were denying the elders superpowers of discernment and hypnotism. Effing scumbags.

There is nothing worse than a LDS missionary who believes himself to be directed by god. Nothing more smarmy, headstrong and utterly ignorant of his surroundings. They are arrogant pricks who use their imaginary friend to believe they are building relationships with people who just want to be left the hell alone.

Post by **_Mercury** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:41 pm

Ray A wrote:
beastie wrote:
This sounds like a real testimony from the heart. Those fake and evil Mormons. Tell me when to applaud.

Yeah, Ray, he was calling Mormons fake and evil. This is what you have to settle for to prove your case. LOL!

Lesson: don't say anything negative about Mormons or their behavior, even if it is ignoring a clear request for no contact, else you will be accused of calling Mormons names and possibly encouraging future violence against them.

In response to the original post, yes, of course we were irritating people when they had other things to do. Just like phone salesmen calling at dinner. And when you think about how often some of those doors (in ap't complexes) got knocked on by either us or the JW, it's amazing any of them were ever polite.

Says beastie, the Chief of the Anti-Mormon Police.

For chrissakes ray haven't you made enough of a bufoon out of yourself?

Post by **_Who Knows** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:47 pm

Next time, you should just crack the door barely open, and say 'what is wanted'.

Post by **_harmony** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 3:05 pm

Who Knows wrote:Next time, you should just crack the door barely open, and say 'what is wanted'.

Oh. My. Goodness. Now I've got juice all over my screen!

Post by **_Runtu** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 3:30 pm

harmony wrote:
Who Knows wrote:Next time, you should just crack the door barely open, and say 'what is wanted'.

Oh. My. Goodness. Now I've got juice all over my screen!

You really are evil, both of you. ;-)

_Yoda · Post by **_Yoda** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 3:35 pm

Runtu wrote:
harmony wrote:
Who Knows wrote:Next time, you should just crack the door barely open, and say 'what is wanted'.

Oh. My. Goodness. Now I've got juice all over my screen!

You really are evil, both of you. ;-)

Since I thought it was funny, I guess I'm evil, too! LOL