My son's baptism

[_Runtu]

Honestly, I don't worry about that. If he ever asks that question, I'll tell him exactly why I did that. I'd rather explain to an 18 year old why I did this than explain to a little boy why his daddy doesn't want to baptize him. Does that make sense?

So you will give these reasons to your 18-year old son when he's about to go into the world and be an adult:

1) Your wife begged you to.
2) You were afraid your youngest will be disappointed.
3) The bishop said it would be a good thing.

and

4) It doesn't make a difference to you.

The reasons you outlined seem to indicate other people have a lot of influence on you. Well, at least you don't care what a bunch of anonymous exmormons think. :-)

Sure, what other people think does make a difference. As I said, a few months ago, I was dead set against it. Maybe I just don't care anymore, but I figured I wasn't going to make a big deal out of this to make a point.

[_Runtu]

You could do the baptism and have a Grandpa or another member of the family do the confirmation.

That's exactly what we're doing.

[_Who Knows]

But liz, his son doesn't have to feel like he loves him less if he's just up front about his reasons now. In fact, I'd get all the children involved and say something like:

"I know I baptized you all except [youngest son], but I've decided I'm not going to perform this ritual anymore. Sometimes, adults change their minds on important matters (it's called being flexible and open minded), and it's important to let your actions reflect your beliefs. That's called integrity. I'm not going to baptize [youngest son] specifically for the same reasons I baptized everyone else: I love him, and it's my job to demonstrate integrity as a loving father."

Or something like that.

Easier said than done when you have family flying in from other places just for the baptism and a graduation.

There will be plenty of opportunities to create an integrity lesson. Why add unnecessary strain on the marriage, family relations, and put the little boy in the middle?

It's a good thing God 'revealed' that the official age when kids can 'choose' to get baptized is 8. Otherwise, you might have some people arguing that he may not actually be making a choice here.

[_Who Knows]

You could do the baptism and have a Grandpa or another member of the family do the confirmation.

That's exactly what we're doing.

Who confirmed your other kids?

[_Runtu]

It's a good thing God 'revealed' that the official age when kids can 'choose' to get baptized is 8. Otherwise, you might have some people arguing that he may not actually be making a choice here.

Of course he's not making a choice here. We all know that. I have talked to him about things, but he wants to be baptized. How would he not? All his church friends are getting baptized, he's spent the last year of Primary being told he's supposed to be looking forward to it.

As Liz said, I did not want to put my son in the middle of a family disagreement essentially for nothing. Sue me.

[_Runtu]

You could do the baptism and have a Grandpa or another member of the family do the confirmation.

That's exactly what we're doing.

Who confirmed your other kids?

I did some, my dad did a couple.

[_Yoda]

It's a good thing God 'revealed' that the official age when kids can 'choose' to get baptized is 8. Otherwise, you might have some people arguing that he may not actually be making a choice here.

He's not. He's been brought up in a Mormon home, and baptism is a Mormon rite of passage.

Mormonism is a culture. Plain and simple.

I understand where Runtu is coming from. In his mind, the ordinance of baptism doesn't really mean anything. OK. If it doesn't mean anything to him, but it does have significance to his wife, and his kids, then why not perform the ritual, enjoy being together as a family for the day, and move on?

[_truth dancer]

Hi Nehor...

There is no real policy. The Bishop has the keys. Anyone who has the Priesthood can do it with the Bishop's okay.

Hmmm... so even a non-believer has the priesthood? Seriously?

OK then... more to add to the confusion! LOL!



~dancer~

[_Who Knows]

You could do the baptism and have a Grandpa or another member of the family do the confirmation.

That's exactly what we're doing.

Who confirmed your other kids?

I did some, my dad did a couple.

So what's the big deal with having your dad or grandpa do the baptism? You could just tell your kid something like "dad never got to baptize any of the grandkids, so he wants to baptize you - because you're the last one to get baptized, which makes you extra special." or "Sometimes dads do the baptism, sometimes grandpas do it. Just like how sometimes dads do the confirmations, and sometimes grandpas do it."

I mean, come on. We're thinking in black and white here.

Black = Son is scarred for life, and a huge family fight erupts. But I keep my integrity.
White = Son is happy (for now at least), and there's no family fight. But i lose my integrity.

There's got to be something in between here - where you keep your integrity, the son is happy, and there's no big family disagreement.

But who knows, maybe not.

[_Sam Harris]

Two days from now I'll be baptizing my youngest son. I had initially decided against doing so, but in the past couple of months my wife has literally begged me to do it. So, I told her that it didn't make much difference to me, but I wondered if my youngest would be disappointed if he were the only one of our six children I didn't baptize. I said I would talk to the bishop, as I wasn't sure he would want me to baptize my son. I spoke to the bishop a few weeks ago, and he said, "Are you planning on baptizing him?" I said I was, as long as that was OK. He said it would be a good thing. Frankly, I was surprised, but to me as long as it's OK with him, there's no reason for me not to do it.

I was thinking that some exmos might find my participating in the ordinance a violation of principle, while some believers might it disrespectful of the ordinance. But you know what? I don't care what anyone thinks. This is between me and my son and the bishop.

You know what? I think you're doing what's best for the unity of your family. That's all that matters.