Need your opinion

[_wenglund]

I still would hope that a Bishop should NEVER say such things to a child and I don't think I've met a Bishop who would. I wish I could say I was sure it would never happen but people are people.

I would bet that Bishop DP would have no problem at all.

Ask Shades whether he thinks you would win or loose that bet. He has actually had face-to-face interaction with Dr. Peterson, and so his perception aren't colored by prejudiced online perceptions--as the case may be with you.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Yoda]

I would, though, lovingly caution you regarding expressing your fixation about men's balls (this is your third mention of them in just as many brief posts, and in ways that suggest they are of paramount if not sole importance to you), since it may, ironically, be construed as an attempt by you to compensate for own self-perceived inadequacies, if not also indicitive of your sexual orientation.

Whatever the case, I will leave you to discuss that part of the male anatomy by yourself if you wish and/or with others if they wish.

Wade, I have to hand it to you. That was THE most convoluted slam I have heard(read). You definitely have a gift. LOL

[_Yong Xi]

I do have to admit it. This guys got some balls. Thanks for the compliment.

There were several humorous responses that came to mind, but Some Schmo's questions have inspired me to rise above responding in-kind, and to simply say "your welcome".

I would, though, lovingly caution you regarding expressing your fixation about men's balls (this is your third mention of them in just as many brief posts, and in ways that suggest they are of paramount if not sole importance to you), since it may, ironically, be construed as an attempt by you to compensate for own self-perceived inadequacies, if not also indicitive of your sexual orientation.

Whatever the case, I will leave you to discuss that part of the male anatomy by yourself if you wish and/or with others if they wish.

Just curious, do they play this commercial during Oprah?

Oprah who? ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Yea, I mentioned it three times in a different context (which most people understand). You sexualized it because you can't understand the meaning any other way.

[_Gazelam]

Your faithful wife fails a Temple recommend interview after years of atending. How would you respond if you were the Bishop? What would be the appropriate responce after the husband himself has already told you that he does not believe the Church to be true?

That mans sole responsibility is to guide and direct, and protect, the covenants your family has made and is to make. His only concern is that your family is living after a manner in which the Holy Ghost can bless and inspire your lives.

If he interviews you, your wife, or your kids it is with that goal in mind. The only counsel he would give to your children would be to keep and maintain and make covenants with their God, to pray and study the scriptures and the words of the prophets. The only way that would have any hard bearing on you is if you stand in opposition to those things.

Tha same goes for any others who would counsel against a Bishop seeking to counsel a Family he has been placed as a caretaker over. He has been set apart and ordained by the priesthood to receive revelation over this family, and woe to those who would stand in opposition to this.

[_Hoops]

So my wife went in for her temple recommend interview, but failed. She could only answer 'I don't know' to a couple of the questions (she passed all the rest of the questions). So then the bishopric went on to warn her about me, saying I am 'listening to the wrong spirit', and a couple of other things implying I was under the influence of satan, and that he was worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

So here's what I need your advice on. I'm a little ticked off that the bishop is basically saying bad things about me, not only behind my back, but to my wife. I'm also a little worried that this could spill over to my kids when the bishop does interviews with them. I don't appreciate having the bishop basically undermine me as a husband/parent - turning my wife and kids against me (if only in some small way). Should I say something to the bishop? Or is this something I should just live with as long as my wife and kids still attend?

I can see that as his role as bishop, he should council his members to maintain/grow their testimonies. But do they really have the right to talk about other people like that?

I would kick his _ss, in a loving Christian way. That's exactly what he needs, the little snot!!

[_Ray A]

So here's what I need your advice on. I'm a little ticked off that the bishop is basically saying bad things about me, not only behind my back, but to my wife. I'm also a little worried that this could spill over to my kids when the bishop does interviews with them. I don't appreciate having the bishop basically undermine me as a husband/parent - turning my wife and kids against me (if only in some small way). Should I say something to the bishop? Or is this something I should just live with as long as my wife and kids still attend?

I went through those feelings 20 years ago. I was also a bishop and understand the sensitivities. One policy I had was never to alienate families, even if one partner, or a child, had "gone astray". I, and some other bishops I knew, would not interview a wife without permission of the husband, or where the wife stated that her husband was definitely okay with an interview, in the case where inactivity or loss of testimony of the husband was concerned, or where the wife requested a TR interview, regardless of what her husband thought. With non-member partners, or very long inactive partners, it was different. But recent inactivity can be more sensitive. In my experience bishops did their utmost not to alienate families, or offend sensitivities, but it's a large church, and bishops will react differently, and this is something people often fail to account for.

Another factor has to be weighed in. Is the inactive partner hostile to the Church? I'm not talking about "Internet hostility", but real life hostility. In that case I would stand back even more. If a bishop is trying to alienate, then I think that's wrong, but, the wife may be doing some of the alienating herself, and actively seeking encouragement from the bishop. This becomes a tricky situation for a bishop, because while the husband may be feeling he's being alienated by the bishop, the wife could also be encouraging it, and sometimes without the knowledge of the husband. She, not just the bishop, may feel her husband is "under the influence of a bad spirit".

WK wrote this:

So then the bishopric went on to warn her about me, saying I am 'listening to the wrong spirit', and a couple of other things implying I was under the influence of satan, and that he was worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

But what was her reaction to this? You didn't say. If that appalls her, all she has to do is tell the bishop to go jump.

[_Maxrep]

What would be the appropriate responce after the husband himself has already told you that he does not believe the Church to be true?

If the husband has told the bishop of his disbelief, then we enter a different realm. An individual does not take authority, but receives a measure of it from those who have consented to obey and become subject to this authority. If the wife "Fails" the recommend interview, then her estimation of his authority as bishop is likely diminished.

We now have a family that may have less confidence in the Bishops authority. If the bishop has the tact to see his place within the couples family he will use terms that are inclusive and supportive rather than devicive.

Without training as a counselor, Bishops some times find themselves the brunt of unfortunate stories. Combine authority with condescention and you have a rough road ahead. Why don't we have real training for bishops? Is that not the calling that seems to produce some of the most unfortunate encounters?

[_truth dancer]

How would you treat the situation if the man giving the advice and bad mouthing you to your wife was your neighbor? Or her coworker? Is the Bishop somehow different in your eyes?

More specifically, I think allowing your children to meet privately with the bishop is completely inappropriate.

Of course your wife can do as she wishes but hopefully she will honor and respect you and your marriage and not allow others to speak badly of you, to her under any circumstances.

I know if my husband's bishop ever said something so disrespectful about me to him, that would be the end of it!

:-)

~dancer~

[_The Dude]

If the husband has told the bishop of his disbelief, then we enter a different realm. An individual does not take authority, but receives a measure of it from those who have consented to obey and become subject to this authority. If the wife "Fails" the recommend interview, then her estimation of his authority as bishop is likely diminished.

We now have a family that may have less confidence in the Bishops authority. If the bishop has the tact to see his place within the couples family he will use terms that are inclusive and supportive rather than devicive.

I agree, and that's why I said the Bishop was an idiot for going with divisive comments like the husband is "listening to the wrong spirit."

The mere fact that WK's wife came home and told him this -- with a little smirk -- is a good sign for the WK household!

Now if WK were an abusive drunk, it could be a different story; but here the wife and kids who live with him every day have a "testimony" that WK is a loving husband/father, despite his utter disbelief. The more the bishop and others try to demean WK's place in the home, the more they are going to ward the wife and kids away from the church.

[_Yoda]

But what was her reaction to this? You didn't say. If that appalls her, all she has to do is tell the bishop to go jump.

I'm curious about this, myself. And, for what it's worth, if someone said anything like that about MY husband, I WOULD tell him "to go jump".

;)

by the way, WK, exactly WHY did your wife fail the temple recommend interview?

Normally, they're pretty liberal with this as long as you're living the Word of Wisdom, the law of chastity, and paying a full tithe.

I'm not all that certain that your wife SHOULD have failed the interview if all she did was answer a few "I don't know's" in the belief department. She may want to talk to the Stake President. It sounds like the bishop had preconceived notions based on what's happening with you.

In any case, I don't think it would hurt to speak with him. What he said was inappropriate to say the least.