Nephi wrote:and I really am not sure why I posted this here to begin with.
Because of your honesty. And that's the way to live, by being honest with yourself, and others, as far as possible. I flirted with thoughts of suicide when I was 19, before I joined the Church, and then when I joined I was sorry I didn't carry it out. (I'm joking!)
Best wishes, and I do like your posts, and your thoughts. At one stage I thought I was the only mad universalist in the Church :)
Not to blame the church, but I have become more depressed since we joined the church than before it. Glad I am not the only Universalist Mormon either, heh.
No offense but Universalist Mormon is an Oxymoron.
And crawling on the planet's face Some insects called the human race Lost in time And lost in space...and meaning
The question isn't "how far is too far?" I mean, that question is really quite simple. It's too far when you think it's too far. And you know when that is.
But isn't it strange now that the problem now isn't the problem anymore? Now the problem is how you're dealing with the problem. It's a problem about a problem, which causes a problem! Let's cut out a few steps, shall we?
Who cares about your suicidal thoughts? Those aren't REALLY what's wrong. They're a symptom. Of what?
When I get suicidal thoughts nowadays, it brings up a little red warning light in my mind (litterally, I hallucinate it, it blocks out the rest of my vision for a while). It tells me there's something I'm afraid of dealing with, something I want to avoid. Usually whatever that is isn't even defined very well -- which is what makes it so scary. It's like this big blur of nothing chasing me down.
What I do then is I define it. I take a look at whatever scenario that I'm avoiding so much, and I run through it's absolute worst-case scenario. I'm talking as bad as things could possibly get, I define it down to the very last detail. I find once the scary blurriness is made into a sharp image, it's not scary anymore. Anything that's as well defined as that, I know I can deal with.
That plan doesn't work for everyone -- some people get carried away with their worst-case scenario's, making images of themselves crashing and burning -- which really isn't how it should be done. Then you're not defining the problem, you're defining your REACTION to it! Hell, that's been defined enough! That's what the suicidal thoughts are, anyway!
But my point is simply -- I don't care about suicidal thoughts. I don't care how far they go. They're symptoms, not the problem.
Nephi wrote:and I really am not sure why I posted this here to begin with.
Because of your honesty. And that's the way to live, by being honest with yourself, and others, as far as possible. I flirted with thoughts of suicide when I was 19, before I joined the Church, and then when I joined I was sorry I didn't carry it out. (I'm joking!)
Best wishes, and I do like your posts, and your thoughts. At one stage I thought I was the only mad universalist in the Church :)
Not to blame the church, but I have become more depressed since we joined the church than before it. Glad I am not the only Universalist Mormon either, heh.
No offense but Universalist Mormon is an Oxymoron.