GoodK vs CHP

[_GoodK]

I was driving down DeSoto yesterday at about noon. My new black Honda was stopped at a red light when I noticed him. It was a California Highway Patrol and he was driving right next to me. He got behind me and followed for a few moments before he flipped his lights on.

Damn.


I'm not sure what I did to warrant this traffic stop, but I pulled off to the side and rolled my windows down. He walked up to my window and told me to put my hands on the steering wheel. "Why don't you have your license plates on?"
"It's a new car, sir."
"It doesn't look very new," he replied mockingly. My car was admittedly filthy, I explained that it had just been to the snow for a week and I hadn't washed it yet. He asked for my license, registration, and proof of insurance which I handed over to him.
"And your front windows are tinted. That's illegal." He looked at my license, and then me, and then my license, and then told me to take off my beanie. I don't know if it was my blacked-out, dirty car or the Derek Vineyard look I was sporting, but he then asked, "Have you been drinking?"

I looked at the in-dash clock. It was not even one in the afternoon. Now I enjoy a dark stout like any other Englishman, but he couldn't have possibly thought that I was drunk. I answered the asinine question with a little less patience than I had exhibited previously, but I remained polite.

"Any drugs or weapons in the car? Any marijuana?" Okay. This was getting ridiculous. "No sir, I do not." I answered shortly.
"I'm going to find it when I pull you out and search you."
"And why are you going to pull me out of my car and search me? You haven't even told me why you pulled me over."
"Because your car smells like marijuana." I laughed at him. "Sure it does, officer."
"Step out of the car, sir." I got out, and he patted me down. "You aren't under arrest, or anything, I'm just searching you."
"Fine," I said, annoyed. He told me to go stand on the curb and wait while he pillaged my vehicle.

I pulled out my iPhone and started to make a call when he stuck his head out of my car and told me to, "Put that away."
"Why?" I asked, rather irritated by this peace officer telling me my car looked bad, acting as if he just interrupted me trafficking humans, and now telling me to put my white iPhone 3G away.
"Because I said so." he said in true cop fashion.
"Am I under arrest?"
"No you are not."
"Then why can't I use my phone?"
"Because I said so."
"Well, I'm going to use my phone until you can tell me why I can't stand here on the sidewalk and use my cellular device." He stood up and started to walk around towards the rear of the car. Realizing that I might have crossed the line a bit, being hungry and a little cranky, I put it in my pocket. He stopped.
"Look, I'm not a punk or anything. I know what my rights are, and if I am not under arrest or even in handcuffs you can't tell me not to use my phone."

That comment enraged him.
"Okay Mr. lawman. California vehicle code 2000, it's called 'lawful order.' Don't use your phone."

If the flatfoot wasn't being such a fascist, I would have busted out myLie Detector Advanced and tested the truthfulness of this clam.

"Do you mind if I look that up on my iPhone?" I asked, clearly asking for it.
"Yes, I mind."
"How do I know if you are telling the truth?" He ignored that, and continued to pillage my car. I sat down on the curb and began iFishing.

After bagging a couple of Walleye, I looked up and saw him standing over me and looking down at my blatant disobedience. His facial expression didn't quite match what I thought it should, and I was right. He clearly wanted to give me a hard time, but said remorsefully, "I have to go. We have a high speed chase." The heavens opened, harps started playing, my grin reached from ear to ear. "Put your plates on. You are going to get pulled over." He said as he jogged to his vehicle. I stood in awe as I watched him peel out and speed off.

A few hours later I heard a news report about a high speed chase on the 10 freeway, in which the driver managed to successfully elude the CHP.




.

[_Bond James Bond]

This is what you get for wearing a beanie. Beanie=pothead.

[_Dr. Shades]

I despise abuse of authority under "color of law" almost as much as I despise crime itself.

More specifically, I hate it when law enforcement officers use contrived probable cause in order to depart from "the book." ("Smells like marijuana" is articulable, but detrimentally subjective.)

Did you notice if the guy had a dash-cam?

Either way, next time, use your iPhone to record the entire traffic stop. It's legal to do so.

[_Angus McAwesome]

Yes, ebcause the perfect way to handle yourself during a traffic stop if you antagonize the officer by being a smart ass. Just be polite, cooperate, and if you've done nothing wrong they can't really do anything. Also, if they do issue a citation, go to traffic court, plead not guilty, and come trail day the mojority of the time the cop won't even show up. But yeah, getting all rules lawyer when the officer asks you not to do something is a surefire way to arouse suspicion and/or piss the cop off.

In fact, you're pretty lucky that the officer got called off for something more important, or else you may have had to spend a few hours in a cell. next time, just be polite, say "sir" a lot, and cooperate.

[_cinepro]

Freakin' valley cops.

[_Dr. Shades]

In fact, you're pretty lucky that the officer got called off for something more important, or else you may have had to spend a few hours in a cell.

For what reason?

[_antishock8]

Well, clearly the officer had "just cause" to pull GoodK over. He was missing his plates. After that, I'm not sure he had a reason to search his car. I'm not familiar with CA stop and search laws, but to me that seemed to have crossed the line. This might interest me enough to ask Google what the deal is..

[_Imwashingmypirate]

We had one of those posters in the UK. It was at the Dentist on the window. I found that a little peculiar because we are British.

[_Dr. Shades]

Well, clearly the officer had "just cause" to pull GoodK over. He was missing his plates.

That much is true.

After that, I'm not sure he had a reason to search his car.

He didn't. He can't search a vehicle without probable cause. He saw the messiness of GoodK's car (and maybe the beanie, as has been pointed out) and then profiled him, which is against the law.

To circumvent that, he said, "I smell marijuana." This was a lie, but it's something he can put down on a report, if it comes to that. At that point, it becomes GoodK's word against his.

It's a sneaky little trick that cops use to circumvent probable cause.

I'm not familiar with CA stop and search laws, but to me that seemed to have crossed the line.

You're right.

This might interest me enough to ask Google what the deal is..

Let us know what you find.

[_Mercury]

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
Where have you been? its alright we know where youve been.
Youve been in the pipeline, filling in time, provided with toys and
scouting for boys.
You bought a guitar to punish your ma,
And you didn't like school, and you know you're nobodys fool,
So welcome to the machine.

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
What did you dream? its alright we told you what to dream.
You dreamed of a big star, he played a mean guitar,
He always ate in the steak bar. he loved to drive in his jaguar.
So welcome to the machine.

And one from the good doctor:

“We are all wired into a survival trip now.”