John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

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_Rosebud
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Rosebud »

Equality wrote:
Jesse Pinkman wrote:
In addition to running his podcast, he also founded what is now referred to as the NOM (New Order Mormon) movement,

Dehlin did not found the New Order Mormon movement. He may want to give people the impression that he did, but he most certainly did not.
SAUCE
The term "New Order Mormon" was coined by the originator and author of much of the material on this web site and the founder of the NOM discussion board. Known online as LDSMan, his vision and hope for Latter-day Saints who found themselves disbelieving much of the doctrine of the church was that they could learn to live a "third way." The church's official "entirely true or entirely false" premise tends to generate ex-Mormons who view the church as an evil enterprise, and LDSMan strongly believed in another way of participation: "Take what you like and leave the rest."

The original LDSMan eventually turned over the LDSMan screen name to another, but the founder of the site remained a helpful, wise, and important participant in the NOM discussion board until his death in summer of 2004. His wife has written a short essay about him and his work on the NOM web site and discussion forum.

What does "New Order Mormon" mean?
New Order Mormon was suggested by the term New Order Amish. Within the large umbrella of the Amish faith there are a variety of groups with different approaches. An Old Order Amish community is very strict about traditional practices with regard to behavior, clothing, and modern technology. New Order Amish, on the other hand, have different standards and are more open to the use of modern inventions. Both groups hold to strong standards of personal behavior and family loyalty.

The original LDSMan concluded that borrowing the Amish terminology would be a helpful way to distinguish between traditional, orthodox Latter-day Saints and those of us who remain in the church even though we don't believe it is the only way to live in harmony with God's will. The term Old Order Mormon never caught on, and it is common to refer to these Mormons online as "TBMs" or True Believing Mormons. The term New Order Mormon, however, has found widespread use, typically using the acronym NOM pronounced as a single word.


Each time Dehlin makes a claim about something great he's done or tries to publicly distance himself from something he says he did not do, it's worth taking a few seconds to reality check.

Dehlin's resume items are often other people's work. This tendency to take credit for work he did not do (and I am not speaking only of claims he has made to my work, but also claims he has made to many other people's work) and his ability to convince the public that he really is the man who made so much happen is, frankly, pretty fascinating (if not disturbing and disconcerting).

This capacity to very publicly and repetitively make statements about the self that are not exactly accurate is, I'd think, fairly rare. It takes a lot of a certain kind of guts to make so many bold statements that other people know to be false.

I think that if someone were really to spend the time to investigate, it would be found, in general, that Dehlin both tightly controls projects he won't claim to own and that the people doing the real work on the projects Dehlin often takes credit for wouldn't give him any credit at all. Most leaders (including myself, but not only me) aren't often willing to challenge him publicly because public challenges are fairly inappropriate and challenging someone who is so powerful is not only risky should he retaliate, but is like hitting one's head against a brick wall. He doesn't and won't listen and directly denies actions he has directly taken.

For example, after his late withdrawal from the 2014 Sunstone Symposium - because I was presenting with Mormons Building Bridges and he didn't want me there - and the setting up of two competing events, he claimed his support for Sunstone. It took a lot of convincing to get him to change his second event so that it wasn't happening at the same time as the symposium, but what is Sunstone supposed to do? Advertise how difficult it is to work with John Dehlin and tell everybody what is going on behind the scenes?

Another example: I have asked him not to take credit for Circling the Wagons on more than one occasion and he knows that I am not someone to mess around with, but somehow he keeps mentioning the project on his resume. It creeps back in again. I have asked him to give back or at least allow me to advertise in the Mormon Stories Communities I founded, and he just says he can't because Mormon Stories doesn't own them. It's personal revenge that he won't admit to having taken and that he pretends isn't happening. All the while, the groups I founded sit listed on his website and I am not even allowed to join them should I need to post a question in a city about something I'm working on. It's ridiculous, but it doesn't matter because he is the person who has the power to control the conversation. He knows his power and uses it, very effectively.

Dehlin has learned, I think, that falsely padding and removing from his resume is pretty easy to get away with. Even if he is called on the tendency in threads like this one (that will ultimately come to be of little importance), most people will continue believe that most of what he presents to the public is an accurate representation of what is really going on. It just isn't.... but he is believed because there are very few people who are able to so convincingly make false statements and even fewer people who will make them publicly and repetitively even when they know they might be called out on their falsehoods. The idea that he isn't speaking truthfully just seems too preposterous to be true to most people who can't put themselves in the shoes of someone who might actually try these tactics. People also seem to believe it's impossible for him to be doing these things because it would be impossible for them (as it would be for most of us) to do them. And besides, he seems like such a nice guy.

And why should he be worried? No matter what happens, there are new people who will have never read threads like this one or never had a bad experience with him who will believe him. It's a strategy that works. There will always be new Mormons in crisis. This is a long term plan.

There is a lot of power in having the gall to make false statements about the self and having the statements become the reality the public believes. After a while, I think, some public figures get so used to their influence that they begin to feel like it's their role to create the reality people follow. The sensation must be pretty incredible and, likely, addictive.

That's probably how the Q12 feel, no? What would it be like to have the things you say be god's word on the matter and to have so many hundreds of thousands of people believe you?
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_Mayan Elephant
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Mayan Elephant »

Equality wrote:
Jesse Pinkman wrote:
In addition to running his podcast, he also founded what is now referred to as the NOM (New Order Mormon) movement,

[mormonstories] did not found the New Order Mormon movement. He may want to give people the impression that he did, but he most certainly did not.


nom was around long before [mormonstories]. see rosebud's post for a description of the relationship between nom and [mormonstories]. [mormonstories] still owns staylds.com, which could be be described as something along the lines of nom.
Last edited by Guest on Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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_Stumpy Pepys
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Stumpy Pepys »

Holy crap mayan and rosebud. Very interesting to hear your perspectives.

Did JD actually claim credit for NOM? Above, it appeared to me that Jesse was talking about "NOM-ism" or a NOM movement, not NOM itself? If JD really claimed to be the initial player in the NOM phenomenon, that is a big problem. I was around back in the day, and as Equality noted above, that ain't how it was.

This is a very good reminder that the tendency to glom onto a charismatic figure is not something that TBMs have a copyright on.
_Mayan Elephant
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Mayan Elephant »

ZelphtheGreat wrote:Hardy was an is a publisher. BYU really has nothing to do with it.


BYU has everything to do with it.

http://chadhardy.com/meet_the_legal_team.html
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Jesse Pinkman »

Stumpy Pepys wrote:Holy crap mayan and rosebud. Very interesting to hear your perspectives.

Did JD actually claim credit for NOM? Above, it appeared to me that Jesse was talking about "NOM-ism" or a NOM movement, not NOM itself? If JD really claimed to be the initial player in the NOM phenomenon, that is a big problem. I was around back in the day, and as Equality noted above, that ain't how it was.

This is a very good reminder that the tendency to glom onto a charismatic figure is not something that TBMs have a copyright on.


I was referring to his "Middle Way" PowerPoint presentations, actually. Were those someone else's work as well?

Equality, thanks for the insight on NOM website founder and originator. I was unfamiliar with all of that, so it is fascinating stuff to read! :biggrin:

Rosebud's post furthers my point regarding the widespread significance of Dehlin's influence. Whether or not he originated any ideas himself, he has still managed to create a global following that appears to be much larger than Kelly's.
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_Mayan Elephant
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Mayan Elephant »

Jesse Pinkman wrote:I was referring to his "Middle Way" PowerPoint presentations, actually. Were those someone else's work as well?



he made the powerpoint presentation.
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_cwald
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _cwald »

I would be interested in reading the citation/reference where John claimed to have started NOM, or even the NOM movement.

Thanks.

Otherwise, miss pinkman maybe should retract her statement.
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _cwald »

Rosebud. ..

Would you please explain why you deserve all the credit for Circling the Wagons, and John deserves none?

Also, could you expound on the comment you made about "the Mormon stories communities that I founded. ..."

I'm listening.
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_Jesse Pinkman
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Jesse Pinkman »

cwald wrote:I would be interested in reading the citation/reference where John claimed to have started NOM, or even the NOM movement.

Thanks.

Otherwise, miss pinkman maybe should retract her statement.


I honestly thought that John was the originator of the NOM movement. I had not heard of the whole history behind NOM before Equality's explanation.

I was simply going by my own personal experience. When I went through my own crisis of faith a little over 10 years ago, I had heard the term, Cafeteria Mormon sort of thrown around on different websites like RfM, and kind of felt like that was where I fit in. Later, I read the PowerPoint presentations that John wrote on "the middle way", and I believe that the NOM term was used in that presentation. Since that was the first real formal writing I had seen on the subject, and since John was very pubic with his podcasts, Facebook groups, etc., I just honestly thought that he had founded NOM.

Obviously, after reading what Equality wrote, I see that I was mistaken.
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Re: John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

Post by _Rosebud »

And, to be clear, I am allowed in some of the regional communities I founded now. It depends on who has rebelled from him and who hasn't. If he still has admin power and I ask to be added so I can post an advertisement and he figures out I am there, I get banned again. If he doesn't have admin power, nobody cares. I mean, the groups are pretty outdated two years out from the beginning of his grand media coverup.

Dealing with Dehlin is honestly endless drama. ENDLESS.

As many have suggested the right way for me to approach this is to document it correctly. I am doing that. That's one of the reasons I'm posting today. A lot of these little things don't belong in a formal document, so I'm leaving them out. I figure I might as well put them here while they're on my mind and I'm in the process of writing. Then at least there will be a record of the me somewhere and the formal document will be precise.

Then, my plan is to let it go and see if he decides to provoke me into destroying him with all the information and proof I have. All he really needs to do is stop pestering me, stop retaliating against people who won't retaliate against me for him, stop getting after people who allow me to speak, and, frankly, let things go instead of telling me to let things go. I would be _very happy_ to let things go. Honestly, I just want this bully to leave me alone and start acting like a normal person instead of creating this endless wake of media drama around him. To be honest, I don't really think he's capable of avoiding media drama, though. It's like it feeds him.

Oh.... here's one really fun drama (of the MANY): That time he moved everybody from the MS podcast group into the new Facebook group that became The Mormon Hub..... ? It was because somebody finally convinced him that he couldn't exclude me from everything forever. Instead of adding me to the main group I had admin'd from 400 people up (and from which I had been banned from for several months) he moved EVERYBODY to a new group. EVERYBODY. Then, through a series of events, Sunstone became the owner of the new group. Sunstone was too afraid he might retaliate against them if they let me have anything to do with administrating the new group. So, even though they used a name I coined ("The Mormon Hub") and that CTW owns, they made sure to keep me out of any leadership. (That's why they're clear that the Sunstone Mormon Hub is just a Facebook Group. Sunstone owns the Facebook Group, CTW owns the name.)

To be clear, not everyone at Sunstone agreed with the decision to exclude me from administration out of fear of Dehlin.... the final call was made by the person who was in charge at the time and who has since resigned. At this point I am very happy that I don't have much to do with admin'ing any more groups. I don't help much with admin'ing MBB.... it's all too much. At the time the Hub exclusion out of fear of Dehlin retaliations spreading to other organizations and people was very upsetting because I had been silenced for so long. I'll be honest that I"m not too happy with what has happened to a brand name I own, like and that I coined for a different purpose, either. But at this point... whatevs. It's not like any of these orgs besides the Open Stories Foundation has much money and I'm just tired and want this documented and done so that I can feel like whatever the next drama Dehlin decides to throw out is already behind me.

Honestly, who acts like this? Who?

Why wouldn't someone who knows that there is information available that could ruin his life just act normal instead of constantly provoking people around him? It doesn't make rational sense. On some level, he must want to destroy his own life and he _clearly_ doesn't seem to care who else he hurts along the way. (Think of all the people he falsely threw under a bus with his fake repentance and "John Dehlin and Faith Reconstruction" podcast) It's very sad. Very. But when he's stringing so many thousands of people along with him, sad just becomes dangerous. Instead of destroying himself and hurting other people in grand media battles and instead of talking about helping everybody else, he should just help himself.... in whatever way he needs help.... whatever that is for him. Someone who lives on this kind of drama can't be doing well.

Maybe if he'd just help himself instead of all this craziness, he'd be ready to be a psychologist who deserves a license and can responsibly treat other people. Right now.... idk... the stuff he does is big and irresponsible and frankly, pretty scary.
Chronological List of Relevant Documents, Media Reports and Occurrences with Links regarding the lawsuit alleging President Nelson's daughter and son-in-law are sexual predators.

By our own Mary (with maybe some input from me when I can help). Thank you Mary!

Thread about the lawsuit

Thread about Mary's chronological document
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