Calling Thayne, Can I Help With NOM?

[_deacon blues]

It feels so good to see familiar faces.

[_Corsair]

Has any more light and knowledge entered the world in regards to the NOM forum?

Things are being worked on.

[_Mayan Elephant]

The only other person I can think of to contact was the poster named "Froggie". She and Thayne were very good friends and worked together in the same office. I don't know if anyone has her contact information, but she is probably still in touch with Thayne and could maybe shed some light on what is going on with him and why he's not responding.

i talk to froggie regularly. she is out of the loop as well.

thayne just pulled the plug because - he could. that place has long been the church of thayne Christ of suck his d***. there were about twelve moderators in the moderator forum and none of them had any objection to the sole ownership of the place. they had a private forum for these moderators where they got together and came back and publicly sustained thayne's heavy moderation.

this is all a huge blessing. a loss if the material is gone, but a huge step forward from having a community of church-leavers going to a church.

[_Mayan Elephant]

I do think the NOMs who have taken refuge here could use the celestial forum for support. But the problem is that newly disaffected members looking for support in figuring out the transition from TBM to whatever they are going to become will not recognize this website as a place for the kind of thing NOM used provide. This website claims to be for open discussion. Even the celestial forum does not suggest anything beyond polite discussion.

So, what is someone who has just decided that the church is not what it claims to be actually looking for? My guess is they are looking for a place they can get questions answered without being criticized for asking them. They want support without getting preached at. They want to know they are not the only one who thinks the way they think, that there is nothing wrong with them for being unable to believe the unbelievable.

To change this website into one that will attract the newly disaffected, it would have to change into something that it was not designed to be. It has it nitch, and NOM had its own different nitch.

One of the things that make "discussion" work is people with opposing view points. So, here it is open to TBMs and them giving the official church teachings, appologetics, and preaching.

One of the things that made NOM work was that TBMs were banned from appologetics and anything that approached preaching. People like Mentalgymnastics were banned. We got plenty of Mormon preaching from our TBM relatives. What we needed was not the Mormon point of view, but ways to cope with the people in our lives that felt they had an obligation to correct our thinking. We had the discussion forum for the talk about history and doctrine, but it was different than the discussion here. Because there were no TBMs defending the faith, the discussion was sort of one sided.

Part of "support" is protection from people telling you that you are going to hell, which was something NOM provided.

with all due respect, you are full of sh**.

nom had become an insiders' crock.

nom had a foundation in what you are describing, but the late reality of it is not what you are describing. and that probably has a lot to do with why it is not there any more. the fact that thayne could blast it away in an instant, and he did, suggests it actually was not the community you were describing. it was a community, a real one, a valuable one with really good things, but it wasn't that^^^.

nom was exactly the place to go to be told to go to hell. it was toe the line of the moderators or go to hell. the thinking over there was as tight as any doggamn sacrament meeting.

[_Hagoth]

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience with NOM, ME. It has helped me more than I can say, and maybe even saved my marriage. It got me through one of the toughest and darkest times of my life. Also, because of NOM I have made a lot of amazing friends in real life that I would never have found otherwise.

Even though you and I disagreed on some things I really appreciated getting to know you, and NOM is probably the only way that could have happened.

But I really don't appreciate you disrespecting Alas like that.

[_Amore]

Haggoth, that's good your marriage was helped or saved. NOM helped me too, but then it really hurt me. My experience with several moderators there seems to be similar to ME's.

The founder of NOM meant it to be a middle way - to take the best & leave the rest of Mormonism. He wanted it to be a place of open (but respectful) discussion, which isn't found at church. I think it fulfilled that goal for a while. But many in moderation positions seemed to still have the cult mentality (just new biases) and moderated based on their own subjective beliefs, rather than respecting that people are coming from different, valid, perspectives. Moderators needed to be moderated, which I guess is not unique to forums - except this one!

[_cwald]

with all due respect, you are full of sh**.

nom had become an insiders' crock.


nom was exactly the place to go to be told to go to hell. it was toe the line of the moderators or go to hell. the thinking over there was as tight as any doggamn sacrament meeting.

...My experience with several moderators there seems to be similar to ME's.

But many in moderation positions seemed to still have the cult mentality (just new biases) and moderated based on their own subjective beliefs, rather than respecting that people are coming from different, valid, perspectives.

Well, that was not my experience at all.

NOM had a stated mission and purpose, to support those who were stuck trying to navigate a middle way. Those who couldn't follow the guidelines were asked to leave or they would be banned. Moderators did a fine job, in my opinion. I participated very little the last two years, because I don't believe in a "middle way" and was unable to support and follow the mission of the site.

(THERE IS NO MIDDLE WAY. That is one of the few things the Mormon prophets have stated recently that is actually TRUE. )

The NOM moderators were fair and respectful to me, and nudged me out, respectfully I say again, as I became more and more vocal about my disdain for the Mormon church and those folks who were trying to do the mental gymnastics to justify the atrocious actions and policies of the church leaders and corporation. I really have no desire to join another NOM site, though I do have many friends from my NOM days. I'm mostly saddened by the loss of threads and writings/personal stories of some of the folks from the site.

I have nothing but respect for Alas and Thayne and River Morgan etc and the other NOM Mods.

Just my opinion today.

[_Mayan Elephant]

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience with NOM, ME. It has helped me more than I can say, and maybe even saved my marriage. It got me through one of the toughest and darkest times of my life. Also, because of NOM I have made a lot of amazing friends in real life that I would never have found otherwise.

Even though you and I disagreed on some things I really appreciated getting to know you, and NOM is probably the only way that could have happened.

But I really don't appreciate you disrespecting Alas like that.

i didn't have a bad experience at nom, Hagoth. just had multiple experiences. clearly the forum is not for me, despite many great years and very long lasting friendships from there. i recently had nearly week-long rendezvous at my ranch with 12 people that met on nom about 12 years ago. so yeah, i get that and enjoy many friendships from there, and enjoyed meeting you as well.

that said, the moderating was complete horse crap and the friendships and relationships and community persisted despite that moderation, not because of it. there are ways to direct the tone and set boundaries for discussions, and ways to fend off wolves and shepherd sheep. and nom had long ago abandoned reasonable ways in favor of the one true way.

i am not disrespecting Alas at all. when i say that nom was the place to go to be told to go to hell, that is not at all a disrespect of her. that is just the damn facts. unless, one was an insider, of course.

again, nom was amazing. the community was unmatched. the intent was genuine. the demise is a symptom of all that going completely awry and to crap, and it was not on the general community, in my opinion. just look at how it went down, that says more about the top layer than the community. nuf said, really.

comparatively, if a company went bankrupt and slammed its doors and gave no notice and took peoples stuff or ideas or contributions and said nothing, we wouldn't be talking about what a great place it was and what great friends we had while pretending all was well on the top layers. we would be calling the place a hell-driven sinkhole that we shared, but still driven to the ground by the managers. that's nom. and it wasn't a one single day event or consequence. this was cooking for damn long time.

[_cwald]

i didn't have a bad experience at nom, Hagoth. just had multiple experiences. clearly the forum is not for me, despite many great years and very long lasting friendships from there. i recently had nearly week-long rendezvous at my ranch with 12 people that met on nom about 12 years ago. so yeah, i get that and enjoy many friendships from there, and enjoyed meeting you as well.

Well crap, why was I not invited?

[_Mayan Elephant]

i didn't have a bad experience at nom, Hagoth. just had multiple experiences. clearly the forum is not for me, despite many great years and very long lasting friendships from there. i recently had nearly week-long rendezvous at my ranch with 12 people that met on nom about 12 years ago. so yeah, i get that and enjoy many friendships from there, and enjoyed meeting you as well.

Well crap, why was I not invited?

you haven't hit the ten year mark yet. lets keep in touch.

i told you on the phone you are welcome anytime, cmon. ill get the beer.