Generation X's Method of Parenting

[Some Schmo]

My dad regularly hit us, and the overall feeling I had for him growing up was terror. Weirdly, however, I don't really remember the spankings (I probably went away for them). I remember he once punched me in the shoulder so hard my arm went numb. Another of his favorite punishments was to knock our heads with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a door. Extremely painful.

I do remember that there seemed to be an inverse relationship between how bad a thing I'd done and how severe the punishment was. He would freak out over minor infractions and be eerily calm when I'd done something serious. He was capricious and unpredictable. We kids would get spanked if we made enough noise to wake him up in the morning, for instance. I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, but there's no doubt his brand of discipline left an indelible mark.

Being physically abused never taught me to respect people; quite the opposite. I respect people who resist violence. Fear and respect are two completely different things.

[Vēritās]

The only thing I have from my Dad are the same aqua/greenish eyes.

Veritas, I hope I can say this without offense. I respect the way you are making good of the difficult elements of your upbringing. I get the impression you learned to stand up for yourself. Perhaps that was internal at first but I it appears you made it into a positive in your life.think You are an feisty poster who can make a vigorous attack. I find I have long respected your focus on learning and understanding.I remain believing you fight to get closer to the truth, to get a clearer grasp of things not just a fight for the sake of winning.

Thanks, though I don't really consider myself much of a "fighter" anymore. Most of that was during my years as an apologist and then counter-apologist.

[Vēritās]

My dad regularly hit us, and the overall feeling I had for him growing up was terror. Weirdly, however, I don't really remember the spankings (I probably went away for them). I remember he once punched me in the shoulder so hard my arm went numb. Another of his favorite punishments was to knock our heads with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a door. Extremely painful.

I do remember that there seemed to be an inverse relationship between how bad a thing I'd done and how severe the punishment was. He would freak out over minor infractions and be eerily calm when I'd done something serious. He was capricious and unpredictable. We kids would get spanked if we made enough noise to wake him up in the morning, for instance. I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, but there's no doubt his brand of discipline left an indelible mark.

Being physically abused never taught me to respect people; quite the opposite. I respect people who resist violence. Fear and respect are two completely different things.

Well said.

Neither of my Dads hit me growing up. I can't imagine what that would have been like.

[Vēritās]

Saw this posted today on Facebook:

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[Some Schmo]

Saw this posted today on Facebook:

305670400_1165524220975519_8015085702779976104_n.jpg

I'm not sure if that's supposed to be serious or funny, but it doesn't work either way. Anybody who's been regularly spanked knows it is complete BS. I didn't really learn to respect people until long after leaving home and quitting church.

[doubtingthomas]

For those who don’t want to click on the link because DT didn’t give any indication to its contents, it’s a NBC video about lonely young men who want young women and feel isolated because they’re not in a relationship getting sex.

- Doc

Women are reacting to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRDRj9fji74

Jesus. Thank you for saving me from that, Doc.

See what women think.

[Morley]

For those who don’t want to click on the link because DT didn’t give any indication to its contents, it’s a NBC video about lonely young men who want young women and feel isolated because they’re not in a relationship getting sex.

- Doc

Women are reacting to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRDRj9fji74

Jesus. Thank you for saving me from that, Doc.

See what women think.

Thomas, out of courtesy to you, I watched it. I made it through a Cortney, two Ashleys, a Stella, and one lady (Mansi?) who said guys don’t date because they have porn—then I couldn’t take anymore. Not my cup of tea. I will never get those brain cells back.

Why do you want folks to watch this stuff? Why am I supposed to care? Most of all, what does this have to do with Gen X parenting?

[Dr. Shades]

I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, . . .

In my mind, that makes it less easy to forgive him. By treating you the same way he was treated, he was voting in favor of the way he was treated.

[Moksha]

My own parents were part of the Greatest Generation. One item about their parenting skills was how much better behaved their children were in school.

[Some Schmo]

I know he was beaten as a child as well, and that knowledge helps me to forgive him, . . .

In my mind, that makes it less easy to forgive him. By treating you the same way he was treated, he was voting in favor of the way he was treated.

Well, he didn't treat me the same way. The abuse he got was much more severe. He gave us kids a toned down version of what he experienced.