The film opens with a family merrily traveling along the highway during the height of the Christmas season--they just gone to visit their granddad in the nursing home, and he snaps out of a stupor just as they're leaving and warns one of the young sons--Billy--that Santa "punishes" the wicked. Heading home, they are attacked by a criminal dressed in a Santa outfit, and the father is killed by gunshot. The evil Santa forces himself on the mom, and then cuts her throat. Young Billy scrambles away and hides and manages to survive. Hauntingly, the younger boy, Ricky--a mere toddler--wails away the entire time.
Cut to several years later, and Billy and Ricky have been taken in by the nuns at a Catholic orphanage. They seem to be doing well, but of course are still haunted by the trauma of the Santa Claus attack. Indeed, when Santa is invited to the orphanage one Christmas, Billy has a meltdown and punches the poor sap.
Later in the film, Billy is at last old enough to set out on his own, and he finds work at a local store--they need extra employees for the holiday season. Unaware of Billy's past trauma, the store's friendly owner, Mr. Sims, instructs Billy to dress up in the Santa Claus outfit for the store's holiday party. This turns out to be an extremely bad idea. Billy experiences a psychotic break, and with axe in hand, he goes to town--hacking up all his co-workers, including the hapless Mr. Sims. From here on, the film is basically a study in carnage, with Billy taking his axe to various townsfolk, including a distasteful, Midgley-esque bully, whom Billy decapitates.
Intriguingly, the film was shot on location in Heber City and Midway, in Wasatch County, Utah (it says as much on the logos of the law enforcement vehicles). And while there is no frank acknowledgement of Mormonism in the movie, it's pretty easy to see the many parallels with Mopologetics. For example, the idea of "hacking things up with an axe" (a "hatchet job," if you will) is a remarkably apt description for all kinds of things that the Mopologists do. And Silent Night, Deadly Night is also famous for having been yanked from theater screens after protests from perturbed families and family-related groups who were incensed over the films depiction of Santa as a killer.
Warped thinking? Murderous impulses? Censorship? Past trauma? Set in Utah? In terms of Mopologetic themes, this movie has it all. And it is a way, *way* better film than Witnesses.
It's also the perfect segue into this year's celebration of the most noteworthy events in the world of Mopologetics. So, as always, it's my great pleasure as the B.H. Roberts Chair of Mopologetics Studies at Cassius University, to present you with The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2022.
10. DCP Admits that He Failed to Baptize Anyone on His Mission
There have been many times when we've wondered about the fundamental purpose of Mopologetics. Is it really about defending the Church? Or is it instead a means of satisfying the Mopologists' fundamentally sadistic impulses? Something else? The Mopologists themselves--and Dr. Peterson in particular--have said before, during quieter moments, that their purpose is to "create a space for faith." As questionable as this may seem, it's worth pointing out that Dr. Peterson has, on multiple occasions, reflected on his mission experience, and indeed he did so again during 2022, but with a startling revelation--namely, he failed to convert a single person to the Church during his mission. He had other successes (according to him), such as "mopping the floor" with a non-LDS preacher. But actually spreading the Gospel? Not much success. And indeed, this seems indicative of Mopologetics in general: while its most ardent practitioners might *claim* that they are serving Christ and trying to act like good disciples, the truth--and the outcome--says differently.
9. Under the Banner of Heaven Infuriates the Mopologists
Unfortunately for the Mopologists, the most important Mormon-related cinematic event of the past few years was not Witnesses. Instead, it was the F/X Network's adaptation of Jon Krakauer's best-selling book, Under the Banner of Heaven which earned an Emmy nomination for Andrew Garfield's performance in the lead role. The attention and success of the miniseries infuriated the Mopologists, who posted reams of criticism of the show, while simultaneously denying up and down that they cared about the show in any way. Interestingly, all of the Mopologetic commentary conveniently omitted a crucial detail from the show--i.e., that the Garfield character's faith is shaken to the core after he is exposed to the Tanners' book, Mormonism: Shadow or Reality? Trying to cover up the truth yet again, perhaps?
8. John Gee & Interpreter's Book of Abraham Woes Continue
Drs. Peterson and Hamblin used to be fond of cracking jokes about something they called "anti-Mormon Zombie Hell," which was their nickname for criticisms that never seemed to die. Surely the Mopologetic equivalent is the Book of Abraham, which has been a painful cause of apostasies for close to a century at this point, and it has been the source of frequent embarrassment for the Mopologists in general, and John Gee in particular. 2022 was no different in that regard. In March, John Gee delivered a very strange article in "Interpreter" in which he argued that critics aren't reading the Book of Abraham because they failed to notice a particular "anachronism." Given that anachronisms are usually an indication that a supposedly ancient LDS text *is not* actually "ancient," one has to wonder just what Gee and the Editors at Interpreter were up to here. It's certainly one of the most bizarre entries in the canon of god-awful Book of Abraham apologetics.
Meanwhile, in September, Interpreter Editor Jeff Lindsay published a piece that rehashed many of the usual Book of Abraham talking points, with a good measure of smear tactics flung in the direction of Dan Vogel and Brian Hauglid. You have to wonder at what point the Mopologists will exhaust their willingness to keep dealing with the "Zombie hell" that is Book of Abraham apologetics.
7. The 10th Anniversary of the End of FARMS
The most significant event in Mopologetics remains the end of FARMS, which took place in June of 2012 and continues to haunt the Mopologists in a profound way. The fallout from the ejection of Mopologetics from the Maxwell Institute has been discussed at length elsewhere, and there have not been major new revelations about the events (though Dr. Peterson and other sometimes allude to additional salacious "details"), but this year nonetheless marked the ten-year anniversary of that watershed event.
6. New Attacks on the Strangites
What would the Mopologists be without hypocrisy? What would they be without enemies to attack? I think it's safe to say: "They would no longer be Mopologists." What's interesting is the revolving door of targets. While occasional attacks have been lobbed in the direction of the Strangites, this year the tone of the attacks was ratcheted up a notch or two due to Dr. Peterson's obsession with the Book of Mormon witnesses. While he insists that anyone who questions the validity of the Witnesses' testimony is "wrong" or intellectually dishonest (cf. roughly 10,000 responses to Gemli, for example), this same generosity of spirit does not extend to the witnesses of other faith traditions. When challenged on his treatment of the Strangites, DCP resorted to his usual tactic of passive-aggressive "shadow banning," and then backtracking. But the incident shows yet again that, despite their protests, the Mopologists have no problem disrespecting--and even outright attacking--other faith traditions.
5. Failure to Convert "Great Men"
If there was an overall theme or pattern to the year in Mopologetics, it might be "unprecedented admissions," or even "accidental slip-ups." The Number 5 event from this year could fit either description. In late August, an item appeared on "Sic et Non" in which Dr. Peterson described one of the many occasions where he spent time rubbing elbows with the intelligentsia and/or elites of the world--in this case, he had won an economics essay contest which awarded him with a trip to England, where he got to hang out with luminaries in the field of economics--people like Friedrich von Hayek and Milton Friedman, among others. Of course, Dr. Peterson has always seemed insecure and desperate to impress, and so in that sense, this was business as usual. But the Mopologists also have a borderline toxic obsession with academic "status", what with their drooling over degrees and dropping to their knees in reverence whenever they set foot on the campuses of Harvard or Oxford. This time around, though, Dr. Peterson's anecdote highlighted one of the tragedies of Mopologetics: i.e., they have failed--in a spectacular way--to "lure" elites like Friedman or von Hayek into the LDS Church. The Mopologists have been desperate to prove to everyone that, yes, smart, well-educated people can believe in Mormonism, and yet where are their high-profile converts? That DCP failed to baptize anyone on his mission is one thing; that the Mopologists have failed to convert people like George Stigler or John Chamberlain underscores the fundamental intellectual bankruptcy of their ideas.
4.Louis Midgley Urges Additional Abuse of Gina Colvin
One of the most noteworthy instances of terrible Mopologist behavior during the past few years has been Louis Midgley's disquieting obsession with the blogger Gina Colvin. Midgley was accused of "stalking" her, a charge that, frankly, seems more than merited given what he did: i.e., talking a trip clear across the world to New Zealand, where he then accosted Colvin's husband. While his account of what happened on the trip has been disputed, the fact remains: Midgley's fixation on Colvin seems unhealthy. And this year was no different. In a June 27 "SeN" comment, Midgley once again unleashed his rage on Colvin, asking fellow commenter Philip Leaning to share "dirt" on her:
Louis Midgley wrote:Please send me this rubbish. And especially anything by Gina Colvin.I am writing an essay in which I may, for very good reasons, trash her. She deserves a good trashing.
Dr. Peterson has described Midgley as having "a very vivid personality." I suppose that's one way of putting it. Meanwhile, the upshot here seems to be that we can perhaps expect an Interpreter smear-piece some time in 2023?
3.Stephen Smoot is Linked to "Neville-Neville Land" and a Racist Cover-Up
For as long as I can remember, the Mopologists have been at war with the Heartlanders--it's rather like the war with Eurasia in Orwell's 1984. Hungry for dominance in the battle to determine doctrine, the apologists hate the Heartlanders with a fervor, and resent the fact that the movement--spearheaded by Rodney Meldrum--has gained such a following amongst the LDS rank-and-file. Midgley constantly accuses them of "priestcraft," while DCP, for a long time, seemed hell-bent on attacking Jonathan Neville--despite claiming that he (DCP) had never read a single thing that Neville had written. So, why the antipathy, then? The answer came in the form of a rather strange and obsessive blog called "Neville-Neville Land," which was overseen by "Peter Pan."
Closer inspection of the blog, though, seemed to indicate that the real author was longtime Mopologist protege Stephen Smoot. Both Smoot's blog and "Neville-Neville Land" were registered via the same Toronto, CA-based web service, and Smoot was working on a Master's degree at the University of Toronto at the time. Meanwhile, the style mirrored Smoot's own writing style--i.e., a learned vindictiveness modeled on the style of DCP--and old posts clearly showed a deep hatred of Meldrum, Neville, and the Heartlanders.
Smoot publicly denied that he was the author, though, claiming that if he *were* interested in trashing Neville, he'd do so under his own name. It's a pity, then, that the Mopologists have such a long established track record of lying. Meanwhile, a YouTube video surfaced, during which Robert Boylan interviewed budding Mopologist Spencer Kraus, and on the video, Boylan announced that "Neville-Neville Land" is operated by a Black man named "Richard Nygren," who, Boylan claims, is "one of the only African American apologists in the Church." Is this true? If so, no one has been able to find a shred of evidence that Nygren exists, and all the signs still point to Smoot being the main author of "Neville-Neville Land." If it's *not* true, though, it means that the apologists have attempted to blame a cartoonish smear blog--aimed at one of their own fellow Latter-day Saints, no less!--on a made-up Black man. If this is the case, it would represent arguably *the* most ugly incident of racist behavior in the entire annals of Mopologetics.
It remains to be seen what will develop with this, but it's worth noting that the output at "Neville-Neville Land" has slowed considerably in recent months, while Smoot's personal blog, "Ploni Almoni," has seen an equivalent increase in activity. Meanwhile, Dr. Peterson has all but ceased mentioning "Neville-Neville Land" on "Sic et Non"--a sign, perhaps, that he has disowned it altogether.
2.Interpeter Launches an Anti-Community of Christ Film Project
One of the biggest endeavors the Mopologists have taken on in the past decade was the Witnesses movie, which was a comedy of errors pretty much from the outset. From its sidesplittingly funny trailer, riddled with errors and goof-ups, to the wireless mic clipped to the back of one character's pants, to the underwhelming awards shows, to Dr. Peterson's full-blown panic over negative reviews at Rotten Tomatoes. The film was a box office flop, but that didn't stop the Powers-That-Be from wanting to tackle yet another film project. Hubris? Most certainly. But the chosen topic of the new movie was markedly Mopologetic. The follow-up to Witnesses, it turns out, will be a movie called Six Days in August, and it will apparently depict the "succession crisis" that followed in the wake of the murder of Joseph Smith. But in the promotional materials for the new movie, there was a noticeable omission. The film will apparently leave out any mention of Joseph Smith III: a move which clearly seems like a "swipe"--wether intentional or not is debatable--at the Community of Christ, which views Joseph Smith III--and not Brigham Young--as the true, legitimate successor to the Prophet Joseph.
Dr. Peterson denied that he and the other filmmakers had any intention of casting aspersions on the Community of Christ, but there is a problem with this: they have been criticizing the Community of Christ for decades, usually in the form of dismissing it as a "watered down" version of the Brighamite faction, and claiming that the CoC's more "liberal" practices have led to declining membership numbers in the faith. (Perhaps there is a bit of karma in this?)
Regardless, this new film project gives us all something to look forward to. It's unlikely that the film will be completed in 2023, so....2024, maybe? In the meantime, the Interpreter team is seeking donations for the project, and we can probably safely assume that, like last time, donors and spectators alike will be kept in the dark about the movie's finances. One sort of has to expect that the Mopologist's will attempt to keep the movie's budget a secret so as to make it harder to label the movie a "box office flop" like Witnesses. And a filmic sophomore effort is always a roll of the dice. It could be the Mopologists' Empire Strikes Back or it could be more like their version of Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol.
And this brings us to the most significant event in Mopologetics during 2022. If you have been following the field in recent week days, you had to have seen this one coming. The Number One event in Mopologetics this year is:
1. Jeffrey Bradshaw Steals Material from Method Infinite
Not terribly long ago, the Kofford Books employee Loyd Ericson surfaced on "SeN" to complain about an apparently unethical act on the part of Interpreter Vice President Jeffrey Bradshaw. Bradshaw, according to Ericson had requested an advance copy of the forthcoming Kofford title, Method Infinite so that he could review it for the Interpreter blog/journal. Rather than reviewing the book, though, Bradshaw apparently used the advance reader copy to help himself write *his own* book on the exact same topic! It's fairly easy to make assumptions about what the Mopologists were up to here: they wanted to publish their own, competing book as a way of contesting the scholarship in Method Infinite. And indeed, Bradshaw's own book was published at precisely the right time to "counter" what Method Infinite was saying. Observers immediately pointed out that the whole thing smelled rotten, and argued that Bradshaw had acted in a dishonest and underhanded way--that he had abused Ericson's generosity and had basically deceived the authors of Method Infinite, all while secretly plotting his own Mopologetic response-book.
Dr. Peterson publicly denied knowing what was going on, but on Thanksgiving, Interpreter published Bradshaw's "review" of Method Infinite, though with a disclaimer that this was not the "real" version, and that the "review" still need to be edited, fact-checked, and so on. Meaning, in other words, that they rushed the "review" to press--rather like Bradshaw's book--in an effort to quell criticism.
The whole incident is a perfect illustration of what Mopologetics is all about: trying to squelch criticism; underhanded behavior; hastily thrown-together "scholarship"; public denials; and so on. Perhaps the funniest outcome is the fact that Bradshaw accomplished a feat that--in reference to the composition of the Book of Mormon--that Mopologists claim is "impossible": i.e., completing a ~500 page book in a matter of a couple of months. Bradshaw managed to do this, and he's not even a prophet! How can that be? The Church is true!
Will we see an apology for what happened? No way in hell. Have we seen the last of the fallout from this affair? I suspect not. Will the Mopologists learn anything from this? Don't count on it.
* * * * * * *
As always, I'm sure there is room for disagreement on which events merited inclusion in this year's list. Perhaps you had one of the following Honorable Mentions in mind?
Honorable Mention
Interpreter Celebrates 500 Weeks in a Row
William Schryver Resurfaces as Pro-Putin Apparatchik
Part I
Part II
The Mopologists' Holocaust Obsession
Part I
Part II
The Revered Kishkumen Continues the Master Timeline of Mopologetics
Ms. Jack Exposes a Fake Mopologist Doctorate
Dr. Shades Considers Penning a Midgley Bio
* * * * * * *
Well, 2022 is drawing to an end, which is all fine and good. This year, Dean Robbers is hosting the annual faculty cocktail party outdoors, beside the massive Christmas tree, festooned with lights and tinsel, and I hear there will be a big bonfire! Perhaps we could burn the Midgley festschrift as a kind of effigy? I'm only kidding: burning books is bad news. (Unless you are a Mopologist, that is, in which case it reminds you of some of your favorite places on earth.) Will there be another chocolate fountain this year? Will the Revered Kishkumen regale us with Christmas carols done in the style of Gary Numan? One can only hope! Happy holidays, everyone!
