The poll of consent and appropriateness.

[doubtingthomas]

I think the average person makes their decisions mostly on materialistic metrics exactly like DT does. I think most of us have made plenty of relationship decisions purely by biological drives and have gotten burned for it at least once but probably more. DT in my view has two specific problems. The first is that he has this "on the spectrum" thing going where he has no filter, very literal, and possibly doesn't comprehend how people wear facades in polite society. What I'm saying is that people fall in love for DT reasons more often than not, but they know how to talk about romance in dressed-up terms, to make themselves not sound as if they are being superficial. The second problem is that his interests border on if not cross the line on age differences. Combine the two, and it's a guaranteed epic fail for conversation in polite society.

I have never stated that I am only interested in younger women.

But you're right, lots of people know how to mask things.

[doubtingthomas]

I think your last sentence is spot on. His problem is not an unusual one: his biggest obstacle to doing that is himself. His second biggest obstacle is that he sees his biggest obstacle as bad choices that women make in dating and mating. His solution to his problem is for women to make different choices or for society to train or pressure or force them to make "better" choices.

EAllusion once said:

And with the expectation of his partners being beautiful you would hope he is a smoke show himself so he isn’t a deluded hypocrite.

I believe that's a prevalent issue in modern dating: many individuals desire more than they can offer. They often overestimate their own qualities (because of confirmation bias) and societal messaging such as "know your worth". The "know your worth" message is intended to empower people so they don't tolerate abusive or toxic relationships, but it leads individuals in the US to overestimate their own value. I know it sounds harsh, but there's no other way for me to explain what's going on in modern dating, at least here in the US.

And studies show that one gender is way more selective than the other.

I'm not sure how he can be guided but I know fighting against it is getting his back up and everyone else's in turn. He just needs to be brave and go experience the world. Have dates with people and put his assumptions aside. Love is not something you can expect to find in a particular look or age. It's about finding the person that understands you and you understand, who is available for love. But DT needs to be available for that too. And not looking for reasons to fortify the wall. A bit of kindness wouldn't go amiss.

Who says I'm not doing that? I'm confident I'll get married in the not-too-distant future. Recently, I went on a few dates with a woman from Turkey who's pursuing a Master's degree. She's incredibly beautiful. However, most women like her, but who are raised in the US, would never consider dating me.

I think what folks are reacting to is the fact that he's using the exact same arguments about dating 20 year olds that he made with respect to dating 16 year olds.

That's not true.

I am currently not living in the state of Utah. But even if it is 18 years old it wouldn't matter. As I said I don't talk to 18 year girls.

EAllusion got my previous views somewhat right:

When DT says, "beautiful" he specifically means physically attractive. He's been quite clear that he only wants a woman who is young, with a strong preference of 18-22, and is physically attractive. He hasn't stated his age, but he's implied he's a little older than that. He's later conceded that he considers about half of women attractive enough for his standards - a step down from what we normally mean by "beautiful" to be sure - but that's about it. He's telling you he's willing to go as low as a 6, maybe even a 5!, but that's it.

And I am not sure why you are assuming that this board is full of reasonable people. EAllusion has said several times that a lot of people here have poor reading skills. Here's one example of him implying that:

I posted three facts. 1) DT has repeatedly implied he is in his mid-20's on this message board. 2) Posters here have speculated he's older, and have tried to read things into his posts here as proof of this. 3) I have not seen him state that he is older.

I'm not sure how these could possibly be seen as a moderator pronouncement or what that even would mean if it was. In my official capacity as moderator, I pronounce that I have not seen DT state that he is in his mid-30's. Let this pronouncement be written like fire on your heart.

From what I had read he said specifically that he wasn't interested in dating teens.

Exactly! I've actually stated (several times in the past) that I am interested in women in their 20s.

[Dr. Shades]

Why do you care so much what EAllusion said or didn’t say? If your own logic isn’t convincing anyone, then don’t enlist others from the past to fight your battles for you; just take your lumps and move on.

[Gadianton]

Why do you care so much what EAllision said or didn’t say? If your own logic isn’t convincing anyone, then don’t enlist others from the past to fight your battles for you; just take your lumps and move on.

Better yet, why use the same flawed methods that misrepresent EAllision[sic] as others on the forum have been misrepresented or science articles get misrepresented to make the same kind of case nobody is going to buy?