Help wanted (Score so far related)

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Jersey Girl
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

IWMP wrote:
Wed Mar 26, 2025 10:58 pm
Jersey Girl wrote:
Wed Mar 26, 2025 7:56 pm
Getting ready for gastro doc follow up on Friday.

Weight: 83.5
v
v
v
At the ER last week... :shock:

I don't feel like writing about it. I'm giving the ER doc a stinging review. Main thing was that she dragged her feet trying to hunt down another doctor to endorse her decision to cardiovert me including trying to speak directly with my own cardio doc on a Thursday morning (when he'd be working in the other hospital) and there was no possible realistic way that would ever happen...to ask him what HE wanted HER to do for me. :roll: Her communication with me was absolutely deficient as well as were her decision making skills. I ended up being in afib for 10 freaking hours on account of her BS and ended up spontaneously cardioverting on my own at the 10 hour mark. Other stuff happened but that's the gist of the total fiasco that was my experience. I'm gonna have this lady for breakfast on the review. FYI: You do NOT leave a patient in RVR for 10 hours because it puts the patient at risk of developing heart failure and/or stroke. So does the cardioversion...but that's the safest, quickest, path of least resistance to get your patient squared away... I know more about this than I want to, trust me.

Feeling well otherwise. Put some more whole grains back into my daily intake. Symptoms only ever come on at night and usually they're tolerable enough.

Dancing for exercise. ;) Have not added weights yet.

Tried on last year's summer clothing. My denim shorts were a joke. Putting them back in storage because they're flippin' Levis-->$$$. Ordered cheaper denim shorts, bit longer length and... size 2. :roll: I don't have a lot of summer clothes left but I try to keep it minimal anyway.

Weight is hovering in the same place so not eating in a calorie deficit. I have no clue how I'm going to eat more than I do. I eat about every 2 hours.

While I'm at it...clothing sizes overview:

8
6
4
2

I gave all those sizes away as I went through my weight decline except for some of my smaller Levis jeans/shorts. Keeping those. They're classic. Never go out of style.

One Good Thing: Well, I have more than one but I mentioned this one previously. I'm going to see episodes 1 and 2 of The Chosen Season 5 on Sunday.

IN THE THEATER!!!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
:( Oh my word. That's horrendous. I am so glad you got out of it. Hopefully the review makes her rethink her actions. We have something called PALS here where if you aren't happy you can put in a complaint and sometimes something will get done about it. Do you have anything like that there?
I can fill out their general review and then file a complaint with the hospital. I'm leaning towards doing both so I can include every little detail of her inappropriate handling of my case.She put me at risk by dragging her feet on the cardioversion and unfortunately for her, I know it.
Did you manage to get some birthday waffles with all the snow? My memory is a bit wonky.
So that was tax day. I ended up staying home while the Boy did the filing and then he came home to pick me up to do the signatures. No Waffle House for me but it is just as well. I've learned to accept whatever is in front of me for the most part.
Hope you have a great time at the theatre, you definitely deserve some positivity your way. <3
Thank you so much! Like I said to Marcus just now, this marks a milestone in my recovery process. I couldn't have tolerated sitting in the movie theater for 2 hours or so before this. I would have either skipped a meal (not good!) or developed symptoms from not being able to move around...which is what I do after I eat.

I'm SO happy to be going! I'll link the trailer in another post as soon as I finish my posts.
Last edited by Jersey Girl on Sat Mar 29, 2025 4:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

Gastro Doc Follow Up:

No, it wasn't. His MA specifically told the scheduler I need to see the doctor himself and she somehow put me in with the NP. I was disappointed that I couldn't continue the dialogue I started with the doc. In any case, I saw my favorite NP. :)

I went over my dietary intake, whatever symptoms, just typical stuff. When I told her that something was different, I went on to describe the last time something was different, this time, and how I interpret it as recovery from nerve damage that has allowed my gut to become slowly functional in stages over time.

She agreed it was nerve damage. Apparently your gut signals are all messed up with this. Example: I hadn't had those growling sounds that signal hunger in my tummy for well over a year until maybe 3 months (?) ago. Heard and felt it one day and recognized it. I didn't realize it wasn't there until...it was there again. Maybe that's why this is a such a long road back. There's so much damage that effects so many factors in function?

Anyway, something is different. I went from no sounds at all and only pain, to groaning sounds*, growling sounds and now I've these sounds that sound like what you might hear if you were down the drain in the bottom of the sink when the water turns on and off.

Don't blame me for the description, I can't figure out another way to explain it! :lol:

*I recorded those groaning sounds. Put the phone on my belly, started a video and recorded it one day. I kid you not!

She said my diet was good especially with the reintroduction of whole grains (go me!), on a good track, and continue on with my strategies for introducing new/old foods that improve nutrition, FDgard, Probys, all the things. I know I've got the right idea it just takes a while to pick something, summon the courage, introduce the food bit by bit, see how it goes type thing.

I showed her my skinny arms...she commented on the amount of muscle I have as "really good". Told her I was warming up to restartng free weights. Muscle I have got, may as well work with what I have. ;)

Weight: 86 lbs
:mrgreen:

Giving myself a gold star on my chart for that weight check, too! ;)

P.S. I'm after the return of Oatnut bread and whole wheat bagels next. No one knows why. :?

Next follow up is with the Gastro Doc himself, mid-May.
Last edited by Jersey Girl on Sat Mar 29, 2025 4:57 am, edited 3 times in total.
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

The Chosen: Last Supper Official Trailer (Season 5)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CVj41dtkIA

From theaters it now goes to Amazon Prime Streaming (because it's turned into a "thing") around June then on The Chosen Free App late September-ish or early October-ish.

The music used for this trailer is NOT in The Chosen. Trust me, Johnny Cash isn't in it anywhere! ;)
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by IWMP »

Jersey Girl wrote:
Sat Mar 29, 2025 3:16 am
Gastro Doc Follow Up:

No, it wasn't. His MA specifically told the scheduler I need to see the doctor himself and she somehow put me in with the NP. I was disappointed that I couldn't continue the dialogue I started with the doc. In any case, I saw my favorite NP. :)

I went over my dietary intake, whatever symptoms, just typical stuff. When I told her that something was different, I went on to describe the last time something was different, this time, and how I interpret it as recovery from nerve damage that has allowed my gut to become slowly functional in stages over time.

She agreed it was nerve damage. Apparently your gut signals are all messed up with this. Example: I hadn't had those growling sounds that signal hunger in my tummy for well over a year until maybe 3 months (?) ago. Heard and felt it one day and recognized it. I didn't realize it wasn't there until...it was there again. Maybe that's why this is a such a long road back. There's so much damage that effects so many factors in function?

Anyway, something is different. I went from no sounds at all and only pain, to groaning sounds*, growling sounds and now I've these sounds that sound like what you might hear if you were down the drain in the bottom of the sink when the water turns on and off.

Don't blame me for the description, I can't figure out another way to explain it! :lol:

*I recorded those groaning sounds. Put the phone on my belly, started a video and recorded it one day. I kid you not!

She said my diet was good especially with the reintroduction of whole grains (go me!), on a good track, and continue on with my strategies for introducing new/old foods that improve nutrition, FDgard, Probys, all the things. I know I've got the right idea it just takes a while to pick something, summon the courage, introduce the food bit by bit, see how it goes type thing.

I showed her my skinny arms...she commented on the amount of muscle I have as "really good". Told her I was warming up to restartng free weights. Muscle I have got, may as well work with what I have. ;)

Weight: 86 lbs
:mrgreen:

Giving myself a gold star on my chart for that weight check, too! ;)

P.S. I'm after the return of Oatnut bread and whole wheat bagels next. No one knows why. :?

Next follow up is with the Gastro Doc himself, mid-May.
Great news on the weight increase, it means something is working. May be small but definitely mighty. Well done.

<3
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

IWMP wrote:
Sun Mar 30, 2025 4:27 pm
Jersey Girl wrote:
Sat Mar 29, 2025 3:16 am
Gastro Doc Follow Up:

No, it wasn't. His MA specifically told the scheduler I need to see the doctor himself and she somehow put me in with the NP. I was disappointed that I couldn't continue the dialogue I started with the doc. In any case, I saw my favorite NP. :)

I went over my dietary intake, whatever symptoms, just typical stuff. When I told her that something was different, I went on to describe the last time something was different, this time, and how I interpret it as recovery from nerve damage that has allowed my gut to become slowly functional in stages over time.

She agreed it was nerve damage. Apparently your gut signals are all messed up with this. Example: I hadn't had those growling sounds that signal hunger in my tummy for well over a year until maybe 3 months (?) ago. Heard and felt it one day and recognized it. I didn't realize it wasn't there until...it was there again. Maybe that's why this is a such a long road back. There's so much damage that effects so many factors in function?

Anyway, something is different. I went from no sounds at all and only pain, to groaning sounds*, growling sounds and now I've these sounds that sound like what you might hear if you were down the drain in the bottom of the sink when the water turns on and off.

Don't blame me for the description, I can't figure out another way to explain it! :lol:

*I recorded those groaning sounds. Put the phone on my belly, started a video and recorded it one day. I kid you not!

She said my diet was good especially with the reintroduction of whole grains (go me!), on a good track, and continue on with my strategies for introducing new/old foods that improve nutrition, FDgard, Probys, all the things. I know I've got the right idea it just takes a while to pick something, summon the courage, introduce the food bit by bit, see how it goes type thing.

I showed her my skinny arms...she commented on the amount of muscle I have as "really good". Told her I was warming up to restartng free weights. Muscle I have got, may as well work with what I have. ;)

Weight: 86 lbs
:mrgreen:

Giving myself a gold star on my chart for that weight check, too! ;)

P.S. I'm after the return of Oatnut bread and whole wheat bagels next. No one knows why. :?

Next follow up is with the Gastro Doc himself, mid-May.
Great news on the weight increase, it means something is working. May be small but definitely mighty. Well done.

<3
Thanks! I try to stay off the scale but it's not easy. Weight fluctuates of course so I try not to stress out about it and avoid weighing at home. I have no idea how to get more calories into myself than I already have. I guess it's going to be a matter of stages and at least I'm not losing. The Doc wasn't joking when he said it's going to take a long time. Some days I feel really good and then at night the symptoms come on.

Already working on questions for the Gastro Doc. See if I can do another round of that over priced antibiotic. I'm so tired of all of this. I'm currently working on the publicity campaign for the crafting organization I sell in. Was just thinking I haven't done a single campaign where I didn't have pain. It's hard to write positive copy when you're feeling poorly but somehow I manage to get the job done.

Thank you for your encouragement, Nicky!

<3
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

I'm just gonna write some stuff while I've got it on my mind. I don't think I wrote about this when it happened.

It's mainly about clothes and how I need to follow the very advice that I give to others. A kind of blessing type post...good things!

I can't stand anything tight on my waist right now. I bought a sundress and a skirt for summer. Love them. I have some older sundresses as well. I also have these linen rompers (long and short) I like to wear in summer with a cropped tank top underneath. Also have Levis shorts I like to wear...I wrote about the Levis and how I'm storing them for this summer and the cheap jean shorts I got from Walmart.

So...my arms are bone and muscle now. I hate it and so I searched up some light cropped cardigans I can wear over those kinds of clothing I mentioned above. I tried a puffed sleeve blouse and I looked a ridiculous clown. All I had left to find was a white cropped cardigan--lightweight. I bought a couple on Amazon that were sort of a peplum style but it wasn't ruffles, it looked like pleats. Loved the idea. Ordered them and they're too long...make me look like a skinny elephant in a ballet tutu. I figured I could probably alter them myself to make the pleats hit at the waist.

Hold that thought...peplum sweater that hits at the waist.

So whenever it was, I also saw this outfit online for Coldwater Creek...pricey place. Loved the outfit, put the pieces in my cart and when I checked the return policy not only are you paying high prices (nearly $200 USD) but it's 15 USD to return items. I gave up. The outfit was olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers and a pale mustard yellow cropped cardigan...plain white cami underneath. Nice for spring, summer, and fall...maybe winter. And versatile.

One day after that, I had to go to the Mall (hate it) one day to return some clothing items I purchased online. I noticed on the drive over to the Mall that I felt like my normal self. Like really like ME. Like the me I was before I got sick. :D Thanking the Lord the whole drive there! I felt amazingly like myself!

I walk through the Macy's on my way to American Eagle and I see IT. White cropped cardigan, lightweight, tie front, and...peplum. :o I keep going out of Macy's and round the corner to American Eagle and in the window was...a pair of olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers right there! :o Told myself just go do the returns and don't get crazy with the trousers. I do the returns, I don't have my credit card (misplaced it almost a year ago...no one stole it...I misplaced it so I've been using the numbers for online shopping) so they have to give me a store credit.

So of course I go directly to the green trousers and pick up three sizes to try on. Because I'm there. The green trousers are there. I have store credit. So...doing it. If I never find the yellow cardigan I can improvise. I bought the size 00 24 inch waist. :D They'll need to be taken to the tailor shop and shortened. They're so nice and probably 1/3 of the cost of the original "inspiration" trousers!

At the register there's a woman in front of me doing business. She's younger than me but an older woman. She's asking the gay manager guy if he thought the blouse she had on looked okay. I stepped right in and told her "The blouse looks lovely on you!" She told me she'd lost 60 pounds and didn't know what to wear now. I, in turn, tell her I lost almost 30 pounds and felt the same way. But I told her "The blouse looks pretty and so feminine on you. Don't worry about what other people think. Wear what you like!"

I leave American Eagle to go back through Macy's, yank the white peplum off the rack size XS, take it directly to the dressing room and it fits PERFECTLY. :D 30% Off, too!

I was SO happy to have the white sweater AND the green trousers. Could hardly believe that even happened! Amazing!

So over the next few days I was thinking about the older woman (younger than me) in American Eagle and how she felt self conscious about her appearance after a big weight loss, the encouragement I tried to give her and...IT HITS ME.

We're almost the same people, going through the same thing for different reasons, she's learning to accept herself with her weight loss and here I am skinny as a rail dealing with the same ideas and for the first time ever...feeling unsure of myself. :shock:

Some folks here know what I look like and have seen me at 92 pounds at least. I'm not (I don't know how to say this exactly) an old lady with short curly white hair walking stiffly at a slow pace or however I can say that...I'm not that. I like clothes, I like hats, I like hair that moves and make up, I like dancing...the outward things that express who I am inside. I might even wear a fedora hat with a formal vintage satin and lace wedding dress because it's unexpected. ;)

Then...I saw this video short of someone I watch on youtube who has an instagram account. It was about her health journey. When she was very overweight after having 3 kids close together, gained more weight during the pandemic, father died, greiving and depressed,and then one day she reached the end of herself, broke down in tears and decided to start walking. She now runs marathons. But the thing that mattered to me was the photos of her before and after and what the narrator said about it. I won't have the wording right but this will be close and it made me cry because it gave me something new to believe about myself.

Every version of you is good. The version of you pregnant with stretch marks, the version of you in all the photos in your camera roll where you feel like you gave up, and this version of you now. That version of you. And this version of you. Both good.

So I made a little decision and I've stuck to it, too. I stopped covering up my arms at home. With tank tops on. Make sure my hair is done, nails are done, good skin care, make up when I feel like it...and my real authentic bony been-through-hell arms uncovered. Because maybe this version of me (who grew in ways I never imagined on account of being so ill) is good too.

That version of me. And this version of me. Both good.

I have never been so sick for so long in my whole entire life and I don't think I've grown so much in my whole entire life either.

And I dance.
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by msnobody »

Jersey Girl wrote:
Fri Apr 04, 2025 4:48 am
I'm just gonna write some stuff while I've got it on my mind. I don't think I wrote about this when it happened.

It's mainly about clothes and how I need to follow the very advice that I give to others. A kind of blessing type post...good things!

I can't stand anything tight on my waist right now. I bought a sundress and a skirt for summer. Love them. I have some older sundresses as well. I also have these linen rompers (long and short) I like to wear in summer with a cropped tank top underneath. Also have Levis shorts I like to wear...I wrote about the Levis and how I'm storing them for this summer and the cheap jean shorts I got from Walmart.

So...my arms are bone and muscle now. I hate it and so I searched up some light cropped cardigans I can wear over those kinds of clothing I mentioned above. I tried a puffed sleeve blouse and I looked a ridiculous clown. All I had left to find was a white cropped cardigan--lightweight. I bought a couple on Amazon that were sort of a peplum style but it wasn't ruffles, it looked like pleats. Loved the idea. Ordered them and they're too long...make me look like a skinny elephant in a ballet tutu. I figured I could probably alter them myself to make the pleats hit at the waist.

Hold that thought...peplum sweater that hits at the waist.

So whenever it was, I also saw this outfit online for Coldwater Creek...pricey place. Loved the outfit, put the pieces in my cart and when I checked the return policy not only are you paying high prices (nearly $200 USD) but it's 15 USD to return items. I gave up. The outfit was olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers and a pale mustard yellow cropped cardigan...plain white cami underneath. Nice for spring, summer, and fall...maybe winter. And versatile.

One day after that, I had to go to the Mall (hate it) one day to return some clothing items I purchased online. I noticed on the drive over to the Mall that I felt like my normal self. Like really like ME. Like the me I was before I got sick. :D Thanking the Lord the whole drive there! I felt amazingly like myself!

I walk through the Macy's on my way to American Eagle and I see IT. White cropped cardigan, lightweight, tie front, and...peplum. :o I keep going out of Macy's and round the corner to American Eagle and in the window was...a pair of olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers right there! :o Told myself just go do the returns and don't get crazy with the trousers. I do the returns, I don't have my credit card (misplaced it almost a year ago...no one stole it...I misplaced it so I've been using the numbers for online shopping) so they have to give me a store credit.

So of course I go directly to the green trousers and pick up three sizes to try on. Because I'm there. The green trousers are there. I have store credit. So...doing it. If I never find the yellow cardigan I can improvise. I bought the size 00 24 inch waist. :D They'll need to be taken to the tailor shop and shortened. They're so nice and probably 1/3 of the cost of the original "inspiration" trousers!

At the register there's a woman in front of me doing business. She's younger than me but an older woman. She's asking the gay manager guy if he thought the blouse she had on looked okay. I stepped right in and told her "The blouse looks lovely on you!" She told me she'd lost 60 pounds and didn't know what to wear now. I, in turn, tell her I lost almost 30 pounds and felt the same way. But I told her "The blouse looks pretty and so feminine on you. Don't worry about what other people think. Wear what you like!"

I leave American Eagle to go back through Macy's, yank the white peplum off the rack size XS, take it directly to the dressing room and it fits PERFECTLY. :D 30% Off, too!

I was SO happy to have the white sweater AND the green trousers. Could hardly believe that even happened! Amazing!

So over the next few days I was thinking about the older woman (younger than me) in American Eagle and how she felt self conscious about her appearance after a big weight loss, the encouragement I tried to give her and...IT HITS ME.

We're almost the same people, going through the same thing for different reasons, she's learning to accept herself with her weight loss and here I am skinny as a rail dealing with the same ideas and for the first time ever...feeling unsure of myself. :shock:

Some folks here know what I look like and have seen me at 92 pounds at least. I'm not (I don't know how to say this exactly) an old lady with short curly white hair walking stiffly at a slow pace or however I can say that...I'm not that. I like clothes, I like hats, I like hair that moves and make up, I like dancing...the outward things that express who I am inside. I might even wear a fedora hat with a formal vintage satin and lace wedding dress because it's unexpected. ;)

Then...I saw this video short of someone I watch on youtube who has an instagram account. It was about her health journey. When she was very overweight after having 3 kids close together, gained more weight during the pandemic, father died, greiving and depressed,and then one day she reached the end of herself, broke down in tears and decided to start walking. She now runs marathons. But the thing that mattered to me was the photos of her before and after and what the narrator said about it. I won't have the wording right but this will be close and it made me cry because it gave me something new to believe about myself.

Every version of you is good. The version of you pregnant with stretch marks, the version of you in all the photos in your camera roll where you feel like you gave up, and this version of you now. That version of you. And this version of you. Both good.

So I made a little decision and I've stuck to it, too. I stopped covering up my arms at home. With tank tops on. Make sure my hair is done, nails are done, good skin care, make up when I feel like it...and my real authentic bony been-through-hell arms uncovered. Because maybe this version of me (who grew in ways I never imagined on account of being so ill) is good too.

That version of me. And this version of me. Both good.

I have never been so sick for so long in my whole entire life and I don't think I've grown so much in my whole entire life either.

And I dance.
Love you, Jersey Girl. I once came to the conclusion, “There never was anything wrong with me.”

I feel for you trying to find clothes that fit. Might could find some killer deals on XS.
"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy” Jude 1:24
“the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7 ESV
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

msnobody wrote:
Mon Apr 07, 2025 11:49 pm
Jersey Girl wrote:
Fri Apr 04, 2025 4:48 am
I'm just gonna write some stuff while I've got it on my mind. I don't think I wrote about this when it happened.

It's mainly about clothes and how I need to follow the very advice that I give to others. A kind of blessing type post...good things!

I can't stand anything tight on my waist right now. I bought a sundress and a skirt for summer. Love them. I have some older sundresses as well. I also have these linen rompers (long and short) I like to wear in summer with a cropped tank top underneath. Also have Levis shorts I like to wear...I wrote about the Levis and how I'm storing them for this summer and the cheap jean shorts I got from Walmart.

So...my arms are bone and muscle now. I hate it and so I searched up some light cropped cardigans I can wear over those kinds of clothing I mentioned above. I tried a puffed sleeve blouse and I looked a ridiculous clown. All I had left to find was a white cropped cardigan--lightweight. I bought a couple on Amazon that were sort of a peplum style but it wasn't ruffles, it looked like pleats. Loved the idea. Ordered them and they're too long...make me look like a skinny elephant in a ballet tutu. I figured I could probably alter them myself to make the pleats hit at the waist.

Hold that thought...peplum sweater that hits at the waist.

So whenever it was, I also saw this outfit online for Coldwater Creek...pricey place. Loved the outfit, put the pieces in my cart and when I checked the return policy not only are you paying high prices (nearly $200 USD) but it's 15 USD to return items. I gave up. The outfit was olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers and a pale mustard yellow cropped cardigan...plain white cami underneath. Nice for spring, summer, and fall...maybe winter. And versatile.

One day after that, I had to go to the Mall (hate it) one day to return some clothing items I purchased online. I noticed on the drive over to the Mall that I felt like my normal self. Like really like ME. Like the me I was before I got sick. :D Thanking the Lord the whole drive there! I felt amazingly like myself!

I walk through the Macy's on my way to American Eagle and I see IT. White cropped cardigan, lightweight, tie front, and...peplum. :o I keep going out of Macy's and round the corner to American Eagle and in the window was...a pair of olive/army green high waisted wide leg trousers right there! :o Told myself just go do the returns and don't get crazy with the trousers. I do the returns, I don't have my credit card (misplaced it almost a year ago...no one stole it...I misplaced it so I've been using the numbers for online shopping) so they have to give me a store credit.

So of course I go directly to the green trousers and pick up three sizes to try on. Because I'm there. The green trousers are there. I have store credit. So...doing it. If I never find the yellow cardigan I can improvise. I bought the size 00 24 inch waist. :D They'll need to be taken to the tailor shop and shortened. They're so nice and probably 1/3 of the cost of the original "inspiration" trousers!

At the register there's a woman in front of me doing business. She's younger than me but an older woman. She's asking the gay manager guy if he thought the blouse she had on looked okay. I stepped right in and told her "The blouse looks lovely on you!" She told me she'd lost 60 pounds and didn't know what to wear now. I, in turn, tell her I lost almost 30 pounds and felt the same way. But I told her "The blouse looks pretty and so feminine on you. Don't worry about what other people think. Wear what you like!"

I leave American Eagle to go back through Macy's, yank the white peplum off the rack size XS, take it directly to the dressing room and it fits PERFECTLY. :D 30% Off, too!

I was SO happy to have the white sweater AND the green trousers. Could hardly believe that even happened! Amazing!

So over the next few days I was thinking about the older woman (younger than me) in American Eagle and how she felt self conscious about her appearance after a big weight loss, the encouragement I tried to give her and...IT HITS ME.

We're almost the same people, going through the same thing for different reasons, she's learning to accept herself with her weight loss and here I am skinny as a rail dealing with the same ideas and for the first time ever...feeling unsure of myself. :shock:

Some folks here know what I look like and have seen me at 92 pounds at least. I'm not (I don't know how to say this exactly) an old lady with short curly white hair walking stiffly at a slow pace or however I can say that...I'm not that. I like clothes, I like hats, I like hair that moves and make up, I like dancing...the outward things that express who I am inside. I might even wear a fedora hat with a formal vintage satin and lace wedding dress because it's unexpected. ;)

Then...I saw this video short of someone I watch on youtube who has an instagram account. It was about her health journey. When she was very overweight after having 3 kids close together, gained more weight during the pandemic, father died, greiving and depressed,and then one day she reached the end of herself, broke down in tears and decided to start walking. She now runs marathons. But the thing that mattered to me was the photos of her before and after and what the narrator said about it. I won't have the wording right but this will be close and it made me cry because it gave me something new to believe about myself.

Every version of you is good. The version of you pregnant with stretch marks, the version of you in all the photos in your camera roll where you feel like you gave up, and this version of you now. That version of you. And this version of you. Both good.

So I made a little decision and I've stuck to it, too. I stopped covering up my arms at home. With tank tops on. Make sure my hair is done, nails are done, good skin care, make up when I feel like it...and my real authentic bony been-through-hell arms uncovered. Because maybe this version of me (who grew in ways I never imagined on account of being so ill) is good too.

That version of me. And this version of me. Both good.

I have never been so sick for so long in my whole entire life and I don't think I've grown so much in my whole entire life either.

And I dance.
Love you, Jersey Girl. I once came to the conclusion, “There never was anything wrong with me.”
That version of us. This version of us. Both good. <3
I feel for you trying to find clothes that fit. Might could find some killer deals on XS.
I'm working on it! I've had to return so many pieces of clothing ordered on line but it's all for a good cause I think. I did find a sundress on Amazon that fits perrrrrfect. Even the length is good on me. I will link it here in case anyone is need of one. I got size small. It's even lined, msnobody. A lined dress from Amazon? :shock:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DNH9FSSX?re ... th=1&psc=1
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
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Jersey Girl
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by Jersey Girl »

Weighed myself today.

85 pounds.

When I do weigh at home it toggles between 84, 85 and 86. So, holding my own for what it's worth. ;)

Oh and I did want to mention, if only to see if I stick to my goal. We have trail systems over here near the house. One trailhead is less than uh...1 minute from the house and another is maybe 3 minutes. I've been longing to go walk them. Scoped it all out to see where I can walk while still being visible from the road because I'll do this alone which I would never advise anyone else to do but I also don't want to walk with a buddy who is going to talk to me as I prefer to be alone in nature because it feeds my spirit. I might be able to import a furbaby to go with me sometimes but I don't think she will fill the role of a silent partner. Woof! <---Stop that!

Yes, I can walk the fenceline of our property or all over our land, but I want a change of scenery.

Anyway, the weather is perking up here and I'm planning to get my feet on a trail in the very near future like right after Easter. Heck. Just walking the parking lot would be a step in the right direction at this point! :lol:

Anyway...doing pretty good here. Days are best. Nights are mostly miserable.
LIGHT HAS A NAME

We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
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Re: Help wanted (Score so far related)

Post by IWMP »

Jersey Girl wrote:
Wed Apr 16, 2025 3:42 am
Weighed myself today.

85 pounds.

When I do weigh at home it toggles between 84, 85 and 86. So, holding my own for what it's worth. ;)

Oh and I did want to mention, if only to see if I stick to my goal. We have trail systems over here near the house. One trailhead is less than uh...1 minute from the house and another is maybe 3 minutes. I've been longing to go walk them. Scoped it all out to see where I can walk while still being visible from the road because I'll do this alone which I would never advise anyone else to do but I also don't want to walk with a buddy who is going to talk to me as I prefer to be alone in nature because it feeds my spirit. I might be able to import a furbaby to go with me sometimes but I don't think she will fill the role of a silent partner. Woof! <---Stop that!

Yes, I can walk the fenceline of our property or all over our land, but I want a change of scenery.

Anyway, the weather is perking up here and I'm planning to get my feet on a trail in the very near future like right after Easter. Heck. Just walking the parking lot would be a step in the right direction at this point! :lol:

Anyway...doing pretty good here. Days are best. Nights are mostly miserable.
Sounds like a plan. Could you use GPS for someone to track you and check in? Is it scary walking nature trails nearby? I only get scared walking out at night or evening time. Tend to have teenagers or kids lurking rather than adults. Although underground subway type things do freak me out a little in the day but thankfully there are none I need to go through these days. When I lived further up north going shopping or to town involved going underground to get past main roads and roundabouts. Generally they smell like urine.

I replied to your PM elsewhere. Hope you all are having a nice Easter.
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