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- Doc
What matters is not how you feel, but how you act. How you feel is the result of habits of thought you unconsciously absorbed as a child and young person about what is normal, and it is not surprising that if someone who does not fit into those expectations turns up, your mind starts sending up 'WTF?' signals. It's a bit like the default settings on a computer, which allows you to change them, but keeps on reverting to 'factory settings'.Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:15 pmMy wife has some trans friends, and it's always difficult for me to get over my whatever it is that creates hostility toward them. I have no idea why I feel that way.
Good on you, Cam, for acknowledging the feelings and being aware of them. As the parent of a young trans woman, I find comfort in that.Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:15 pmNot gonna lie. I loved the actor in Juno and Super. What a world we live in. My wife has some trans friends, and it's always difficult for me to get over my whatever it is that creates hostility toward them. I have no idea why I feel that way. As an aside, trans folks within the Islamic tradition (someone can correct me if I'm wrong), are considered to be whatever gender as long as they conform to the social norms of that gender. At least I remember reading something about MTF trans getting that kind of consideration.
- Doc
I completely understand. Two of my trans gaming friends are vets and people that I enjoy being around. A third I knew for over a year before she told me, and it came up only because we were discussing my daughter. She and her boyfriend are two of my favorite gaming friends.Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:51 pmIt is interesting how deep our programming goes. The trans friends are decent people. They don't hurt anyone. They're nice to other people, so far as I'm aware. They're veterans who served my country. So on and so forth.
What's interesting is my issue of simultaneously holding a sort of innate feeling toward them and then also acting respectful toward them - we went bowling with them a few times and had a few over at our place last holiday season. I feel hypocritical and try to find that sweet spot where I don't feel fake in my interactions with them. I think ultimately it isn't about the gender thing, it's about the surgery for me. Even now just thinking about it fills me with existential dread, so perhaps I'm having a hard time interacting with a former male who had some things removed, and some other things added. I guess now that I'm typing it out, it's almost like, for me, trying to interact with someone who's really into bodymod, but then you're supposed to act like it's the most natural thing in the world and treat them without a hint of being freaked out. Whatever the case may be, I'm definitely interested in following Page's process because I liked him as an actress.
- Doc
Aaaaaargh. Yes, or rather ... no. (Deep breathing to feel calm again ...)Doctor CamNC4Me wrote: ↑Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:51 pm... it's about the surgery for me. Even now just thinking about it fills me with existential dread, so perhaps I'm having a hard time interacting with a former male who had some things removed, ...