healing/recovery through venting?

[_truth dancer]

Hi Wade,

So, if I understand you correctly,

No, you do not understand me correctly. My fault! :-)

I don't see "venting" as either in one of two catagories: abusive or nonabusive, as I think you suggested.

Venting is the releasing of feelings. If one wants to describe a type of venting then I suppose one could say there is all sorts of venting... humorous venting, sorrowful venting, angry venting, quiet venting, loud venting, silly venting, depressed venting, frustrated venting, delicate venting, childlike venting, mature venting, or whatever. I don't typically label venting in this way but I don't see any reason why one could not.

If you want a catagory for "abusive venting" then I suppose the definition would be one who vents and abuses another at the same time.

Does that help clarify? :-)

~dancer~

[_Runtu]

Hi Wade,

So, if I understand you correctly,

No, you do not understand me correctly. My fault! :-)

I don't see "venting" as either in one of two catagories: abusive or nonabusive, as I think you suggested.

Venting is the releasing of feelings. If one wants to describe a type of venting then I suppose one could say there is all sorts of venting... humorous venting, sorrowful venting, angry venting, quiet venting, loud venting, silly venting, depressed venting, frustrated venting, delicate venting, childlike venting, mature venting, or whatever. I don't typically label venting in this way but I don't see any reason why one could not.

If you want a catagory for "abusive venting" then I suppose the definition would be one who vents and abuses another at the same time.

Does that help clarify? :-)

~dancer~

This isn't about venting, dancer. This is about Wade's taking offense at how people express their feelings. No one in their right mind would suggest that venting is not therapeutic. Humans do it all the time. Wade's problem is that the venting he sees offends him.

[_Mister Scratch]

This isn't about venting, dancer. This is about Wade's taking offense at how people express their feelings. No one in their right mind would suggest that venting is not therapeutic. Humans do it all the time. Wade's problem is that the venting he sees offends him.

An excellent observation. And it must be noted that he is choosing to be offended, too, since as Elder Bednar reminded us in the last General Conference, it is "impossible to be offended."

[_wenglund]

Whether you are correct about whether respect has been earned by the CoJCoLDS (you are, as expected, incorrect), there is a broad range between earned respect (what you mentioned) and unwarranted disrespect (what I was talking about), as well as between universal love (what you mentioned) and rank disdain by some (what I was talking about). Sorry that was lost on you.

And thus we get to the heart of the matter. Wade finds "rank disdain" for his beliefs to be corrosive and abusive.

That is not the heart of MY matter, nor have I yet suggested what you just said about "rank disdain" Rather, I was speaking about people in general being understandably HURT (not to be confused with "corrosive and abusive") by someone feeling that level of disdain towards them and their most prized beliefs. This is simply you, once again (seemingly pathalogically) putting words into my mouth.

Here's a hint, Wade: we don't disdain Mormons. We disdain certain of our own former beliefs. There is much to admire within Mormonism. Most Mormons are wonderful, loving people. And I like a lot of Mormon doctrine: frankly, I love the idea that humans have the potential to become like God. I like Mormonism's teachings about tolerance, love, kindness, charity, education, and countless other positive teachings. But I reserve the right to hold certain doctrines in contempt and "rank disdain," such as the idea that not all truth is uplifting and useful, or that masturbation is evil and will lead to homosexuality. Nor will I respect outright lies. Such things demand my contempt and ridicule.

You seem to think that disdaining doctrines and teachings is equivalent to disdaining people. Strawman alert, indeed!

Did I say you disdained Mormons? No.

Have I yet eqauated disdaining doctrines and teachings with disdaining people. No.

Like you said, straw man alert indeed.

Again, try engaging what I have actually said.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Runtu]

Whether you are correct about whether respect has been earned by the CoJCoLDS (you are, as expected, incorrect), there is a broad range between earned respect (what you mentioned) and unwarranted disrespect (what I was talking about), as well as between universal love (what you mentioned) and rank disdain by some (what I was talking about). Sorry that was lost on you.

And thus we get to the heart of the matter. Wade finds "rank disdain" for his beliefs to be corrosive and abusive.

That is not the heart of MY matter, nor have I yet suggested what you just said about "rank disdain" Rather, I was speaking about people in general being understandably HURT (not to be confused with "corrosive and abusive") by someone feeling that level of disdain towards them and their most prized beliefs. This is simply you, once again (seemingly pathalogically) putting words into my mouth.

Let's see: I'm a conspiracy theorist, bigoted, and "pathalogically" (sic) putting words into your mouth. You specifically said in the quote above that it was the church being disdained, which I thought was rather telling. We weren't talking about respect or disdain for the members, Wade.

Did I say you disdained Mormons? No.

Above you said that I was twisting your words when I said the disdain was for the beliefs, not the people. Now you're saying I'm wrong because you really weren't saying I disdained the people. It can't be both.

Have I yet eqauated disdaining doctrines and teachings with disdaining people. No.

Again, yes you did in the first quote above. Really, Wade, this is amazing. You're arguing out of both sides of your mouth. Pick an argument and stick with it.

Again, try engaging what I have actually said.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

It would help if you had a consistent argument. So, which is it that offends you? Disdain for teachings, or disdain for people?

Thanks in advance for clarifying.

John

[_beastie]

That is not the heart of MY matter, nor have I yet suggested what you just said about "rank disdain" Rather, I was speaking about people in general being understandably HURT (not to be confused with "corrosive and abusive") by someone feeling that level of disdain towards them and their most prized beliefs. This is simply you, once again (seemingly pathalogically) putting words into my mouth.

It helps to differentiate between disdain towards them and disdain towards their most prized beliefs. But part of the problem is that many believers are not able to make that distinction.

I find that religionists often have the idea that people shouldn't criticize their beliefs simply because they are "religious". In fact, hasn't one of our members flat out stated as much? We should never criticize someone's religion, or something of that sort? I find that an extraordinary, nonsensical, and even dangerous expectation/demand.

[_Runtu]

That is not the heart of MY matter, nor have I yet suggested what you just said about "rank disdain" Rather, I was speaking about people in general being understandably HURT (not to be confused with "corrosive and abusive") by someone feeling that level of disdain towards them and their most prized beliefs. This is simply you, once again (seemingly pathalogically) putting words into my mouth.

It helps to differentiate between disdain towards them and disdain towards their most prized beliefs. But part of the problem is that many believers are not able to make that distinction.

I find that religionists often have the idea that people shouldn't criticize their beliefs simply because they are "religious". In fact, hasn't one of our members flat out stated as much? We should never criticize someone's religion, or something of that sort? I find that an extraordinary, nonsensical, and even dangerous expectation/demand.

I think that's Wade's problem, else why would he have said in the same post that he wasn't talking about disdain for people or for their beliefs?

[_wenglund]

Wade,

I'm still mystified as to why you are offended by people talking about their own feelings and experiences.

I am even more mystified that you think I am. (Hint: I'm not)

Unless they are directing their venting at you, what business is it of yours?

Are you thinking that the "business" is solely the function of direction towards whom the venting is directed? In other words, to you, using my analogy, it no longer is Mrs. X's business what Mr. X says about her to other people? It not the business of Mrs. X's children and friends what Mr. X says about his wife to others? If Mr X's venting takes the form of intense and sustained mockery, profanation, vulgarity, denegration, name-calling, gossip, teeth-gnashing, and vile accusations regarding his wive's charished beliefs, then it is not the business of those who share thoise beliefs?

And why in the world are you hanging around places like RfM that offend you?

Who says that it does and that I do? I have yet to do so. If or when I do, I will answer the question at that time. By then, sufficient foundation will have been laid to make the discussion meaningful and productive. Until then, PLEASE ENGAGE WHAT I HAVE ACTUALLY SAID. Is that asking too much?

To my mind, it would be like being a volunteer for the Democratic Party and then going over to a Republican fundraiser and complaining that they're being mean to Democrats.

Or, it could also be like a Jew viewing the website of the KKK. We'll see...in due time.

For now, I am attempting to GENERICLY look at venting as a means of therapy and/or corrosion. Perhaps it would be good were you to have something constructive to add to that topic (not to be confused with your hyper-defensive efforts to put words into my mouth).

Thanks, -Wade Enlgund-

[_OUT OF MY MISERY]

This isn't about venting, dancer. This is about Wade's taking offense at how people express their feelings. No one in their right mind would suggest that venting is not therapeutic. Humans do it all the time. Wade's problem is that the venting he sees offends him.

An excellent observation. And it must be noted that he is choosing to be offended, too, since as Elder Bednar reminded us in the last General Conference, it is "impossible to be offended."

I love my new screen name and I intend to keep it...soory if someone becomes offended...I will not change it back

My screen name is my way of venting....for too many years Mormons men/women have told me I am stupid...but

I am not I am a SMART BITCH!!!!

I will continue to use that name and I am not offended when I call myself a BITCH nor am I offended when others call me a BITCH

[_Gazelam]

I see you've learned to use the sink, so I guess there is a sign of intelligence. Way to go. Good for you.