Slack Scratch Fever (Hey, its Friday Niiiiiiiiiiight!"

[Dr. Sunstoned]

Its Friday night and its just impossible to take this place seriously, so here goes (tune up your stack of Marshalls, break out the Dad's, and crank it up!)


Well I don't know where he came from
But he came on strong
He's set his sights on me
He's an anti-Mormon man
On a mission you see,
Disingenuously

He's got the slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.

He's got chutzpa and he musta
been a difficult child
His education didn't go well
He went to see the doctor
Tried to get his head straight
But Wade said "Scratch, what the Hell?"

You give me slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.
He's just an exmo Reaver
Slack scratch fever

He's so tendentious
He feels no shame
He may ne-never change
You know you got it
And you can spot it
When what he says seems sane, sane
Its an endless verbal game

(Guitar solo while inebriated exmo woman through Victoria Secrets undergarments at the stage)

Well he dances and he prances
And he twiists in the wind
And we just do what we can
To make him feel better
When he hoists his petard
And falls down flat on his...grass

He gives us slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.
I'll need some Smirnoff later
Slack Scratch Fever.

[_Bond...James Bond]

Coggins,

I think the Styx song "Too Much Time On My Hands" should be your autobiographical song.

[_Mister Scratch]

Its Friday night and its just impossible to take this place seriously, so here goes (tune up your stack of Marshalls, break out the Dad's, and crank it up!)


Well I don't know where he came from
But he came on strong
He's set his sights on me
He's an anti-Mormon man
On a mission you see,
Disingenuously

He's got the slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.

He's got chutzpa and he musta
been a difficult child
His education didn't go well
He went to see the doctor
Tried to get his head straight
But Wade said "Scratch, what the Hell?"

You give me slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.
He's just an exmo Reaver
Slack scratch fever

He's so tendentious
He feels no shame
He may ne-never change
You know you got it
And you can spot it
When what he says seems sane, sane
Its an endless verbal game

(Guitar solo while inebriated exmo woman through Victoria Secrets undergarments at the stage)

Well he dances and he prances
And he twiists in the wind
And we just do what we can
To make him feel better
When he hoists his petard
And falls down flat on his...grass

He gives us slack scratch fever
Slack scratch fever.
I'll need some Smirnoff later
Slack Scratch Fever.

Gee, Loran, what did I ever do to you? Actually, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before you had to resort to a personalized thread attacking me. Well done! You are even more like Wade than I realized.

[_Coggins7]

Gee, Loran, what did I ever do to you? Actually, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before you had to resort to a personalized thread attacking me. Well done! You are even more like Wade than I realized.

It seems that you just asked Wade that very same question on another thread. Interesting. I prefer to see the saterical songs and poems speaking a little truth to humor not as attacks, but as good natured making sport of what I perceive to be some core truths about certain people here. You are welcome to do it right back. Humor is an excellent way to articulate criticism without being directly critical, and hence has the ability to make a point but not twist the knife.

What you don't understand Scratch, but I now feel it is time you know, is that not only am I much like Wade, I am Wade. Did you ever see John Carpenter's The Thing Scratch? Assimilation is complete...

You're being watched Scratch. The Hierarchy is closing in. Resistance is futile...


Loran

[_Mister Scratch]

Gee, Loran, what did I ever do to you? Actually, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before you had to resort to a personalized thread attacking me. Well done! You are even more like Wade than I realized.

It seems that you just asked Wade that very same question on another thread. Interesting. I prefer to see the saterical songs and poems speaking a little truth to humor not as attacks, but as good natured making sport of what I perceive to be some core truths about certain people here. You are welcome to do it right back. Humor is an excellent way to articulate criticism without being directly critical, and hence has the ability to make a point but not twist the knife.

Well, you do both. You write parodies of popular songs, and you "twist the knife." Now you just need to learn how to participate in civil discourse. Come on---surely among all that self-learnin' and readin' you did, on top of your two years of formal education, you had to have learned something about that, no?

What you don't understand Scratch, but I now feel it is time you know, is that not only am I much like Wade, I am Wade. Did you ever see John Carpenter's The Thing Scratch? Assimilation is complete...

You're being watched Scratch. The Hierarchy is closing in. Resistance is futile...
Loran

Yup, saw The Thing. Pretty good movie, featuring LDS Walter Brimley. Did you know that?

Anyways, I am fairly certain that you are being watched too, Loran. You had better watch your step. I mean, do you really think the folks at the SCMC---not to mention Heavenly Father---really approve of many of the things you say on here? I.e., your ad hominem attacks and insults?

[_rcrocket]

Anyways, I am fairly certain that you are being watched too, Loran. You had better watch your step. I mean, do you really think the folks at the SCMC---not to mention Heavenly Father---really approve of many of the things you say on here? I.e., your ad hominem attacks and insults?

There goes Mr. Scratch again. He does two things a lot. First, he demands apologies. Second, he labels arguments he doesn't like as ad hominem. He can dish it out, certainly, but can't take it. By definition, one cannot make an ad hominem argument against a cowardly anonymite.

P

[_Gazelam]

Maybe its just an academic test to see how many readers know what ad hominum means.

[_Coggins7]

All seriousness aside, The idea behind most of the altered lyrics to "Cat Scratch Fever" is precisely that I sincerly percieve Scratch to be, whatever else he may be, an intellectual poser with pretensions to serious intellectuality he does not possess. He poses here (and he's not the only one) as someone who knows and understands LDS doctrine and culture substantially, is well read in LDS doctrine, philosophy, and history as well as works critical of same, and is willing to engage in civil, critical debate if only the raving twit TBMs (and their sexual meat doll wives: hat tip for that classic to Vegas) would let him.

On all counts, I find his pose to be unconvincing, just as unconvincing as Harmony's pose as a faithful, Temple going LDS soccer mom. Scatch's entire textual basis for his animosity toward the church seems to be a single work by D. Michael Quinn and old, yellowing copies of The Watchman Expositor.

Hence "Slack Scratch Fever". Scratch is slack, period, and there's no better way to articulate that than in parodical verse or song. Its not twisting the knife. Its more like death by a thousand cuts, stanza by stanza.

Loran

[_Mister Scratch]

Anyways, I am fairly certain that you are being watched too, Loran. You had better watch your step. I mean, do you really think the folks at the SCMC---not to mention Heavenly Father---really approve of many of the things you say on here? I.e., your ad hominem attacks and insults?

There goes Mr. Scratch again. He does two things a lot. First, he demands apologies. Second, he labels arguments he doesn't like as ad hominem. He can dish it out, certainly, but can't take it. By definition, one cannot make an ad hominem argument against a cowardly anonymite.

P

No, Bob. Do you even understand what the argumentum ad hominem actually is? It consists of conflating the argument with the person. E.g., "You are not credible as a critic of the Church because you are anonymous." Or, "Your argument is irrelevant because you are a lawyer." Capiche?

[Physics Guy]

All seriousness aside, The idea behind most of the altered lyrics to "Cat Scratch Fever" is precisely that I sincerly percieve Scratch to be, whatever else he may be, an intellectual poser with pretensions to serious intellectuality he does not possess.

Oh, what, and iyou do? Like you are more credible with your whopping two whole years of formal education? This stacked on top of your alcoholism and Tourettes? Face it Loran: you are a walking disaster and an embarrassment to the Church. You are a useless hack and a "demogogue" yourself, which is why you're incapable of ever citing sources, dealing with legitimate criticism, or anything else of substance. The bulk of your posts are personal attacks, stupid rip-offs of popular songs, and so forth.

He poses here (and he's not the only one) as someone who knows and understands LDS doctrine and culture substantially, is well read in LDS doctrine, philosophy, and history as well as works critical of same, and is willing to engage in civil, critical debate if only the raving twit TBMs (and their sexual meat doll wives: hat tip for that classic to Vegas) would let him.

Wrong again. You are so bitter and upset that anyone would dare to criticize your precious, beloved LDS Church that you turn blue in the face everytime you post. The reality is that you love the Internet, and the fact that you can hide your embarrassing Tourettes (by the way, what kinds of stuff do you spout out? Profanities? Do you have to repent each time your disability kicks in?), your lack of any real education, and the fact that, at base, without the Church you would essentially be useless as a human being, incapable of making anything remotely resembling a contribution to the human race. You are a joke, a dung heap, a cast-off that even the Church barely wants. Your bishop probably keeps you on the membership rolls for no other reason than you continue to contribute tithing dollars. Or are you unemployed too, on top of all your other personal problems?

(See Bob? The above is an ad hominem attack.)

On all counts, I find his pose to be unconvincing, just as unconvincing as Harmony's pose as a faithful, Temple going LDS soccer mom. Scatch's entire textual basis for his animosity toward the church seems to be a single work by D. Michael Quinn and old, yellowing copies of The Watchman Expositor.

Hilarious! And you are a racist and a misogynist. Didn't you mention that you are divorced? Gee... I wonder why? Anyways, your textual counter is... Oh, wait. That's right. You don't ever bother to use sources. How about that? Am I supposed to feel the Spirit coming from you? Is that how you expect to win arguments?

Hence "Slack Scratch Fever". Scratch is slack, period, and there's no better way to articulate that than in parodical verse or song. Its not twisting the knife. Its more like death by a thousand cuts, stanza by stanza.

Loran

Yes, and the equivalent for me is death by laughter---laughter in the comfortable knowledge that, on the other side of the computer, sits a useless, uneducated, sputtering human cripple who has nothing in life to cling to beyond the LDS Church. Well done, Loran. I'm sure your Heavenly Father is proud.